Smoking: Dealbreaker or not?

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Deal breaker for me. I dated a smoker for a little bit and it was really hard to be around the smell. I'm also asthmatic and smoke is one of my triggers for an attack.

It's a deal breaker for me because I have bad sinus problems & being around smokers or an area where people smoke even if they aren't currently doing it makes it hard for me to breath from my nose & my throat/mouth feels slimy from breathing that way after a while & I also feel icky. Another rezone smoking is a deal breaker for me is because I worry about my partner's health & I would be trying to get her to quit

Wha?? He just refuted everything you said, and you agree with him?


And since when did educating the public about the dangers of smoking become 'brainwashing'? I guess when one is addicted that's a way to rationalize playing Russian roulette with one's health? No...you're not guaranteed to die a horrible, grizzley death via smoking...just like pulling that trigger with the barrel of a gun against your head only gives you a 1 in 6 chance of blowing your brains out. But it is curious when one knows smoking is dangerous, they continue to do it.

I'm not sure weather it would be a deal breaker for me. My boyfriend smoked when we first started going out, but it was very infrequent and only a single cigarette in a "sitting." He did quit not too long after, as he knew that I don't like smoking after seeing my grandfather die from a smoking/second-hand smoke associated disease (my grandfather never smoked a day in his life, but he owned and ran a bar and restaurant that allowed smoking indoors).

I think between my dislike of smoking in general and a case of mild asthma, it could be a deal breaker for me, though I'm very thankful that it didn't have to be.

The smell bothers me quite a bit.
I think it would be too much of an issue for me to handle in a positive manner, longterm.
I'm only interested in relationships if I think they have some long term possibility.

Therefor
I don't find smokers attractive.

In fact I have often found myself thinking "aw that's too bad she was cute"
As in... all of two seconds ago, before she pulled out a cigarette.
It's a habit that, unless properly managed, can negatively affect lives of the people around you.

It's not a dealbreaker. I wouldn't even make the bid. No deal to break.

(She'd have to be pretty bloody special for me to change that opinion, but I don't deny it might happen. After all, rats can grow human ears on their backs)

Absolute dealbreaker. I can't tolerate the smell at all, especially if I'm going to be close to someone. Plus, I don't want to be exposed to second-hand smoke.

~Kate

If I'm crazy about a guy I'm not going to go "yeah.. NAH" because he smokes. It just doesn't work that way with me. Its less stinky, but not a deal breaker. I don't have many deal breakers.

If he's a casual smoker it's fine, but I don't think I would like chain smokers.

I don't smoke, and don't judge people who do. It isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, but I am concerned about the potential fire hazard created by smoking.

Each person is the present culmination of all their experiences, including all of the good and bad things they chose to do to themselves. If I do something to improve myself, then doesn't that make me a better person than I was before? I'm still gonna die someday, but until then, I'll live better. Not all nonsmokers wear cologne. Not all smokers refrain from wearing cologne.

I grew up around smokers, and my health was probably temporarily damaged by it. I've seen relatives get sick and some die because of it, so I have a lot of experience with how bad it is. Some things are so bad, that one can't look at them in a truthful manner and not be "anti-". Sawing one's own arm off with a chainsaw is bad. Am I prissy for being anti-sawing-one's-own-arm-off-with-a-chainsaw? Maybe I'm just "uncool", but I don't care. By the way, you can live without that arm, but you can't live without lungs.



It is filthy, actually. That film on the window says so. People don't have to smoke to be skinny. Not all smokers are skinny. Eating crap is bad for you, too, even if it isn't taxed. Any doctor will tell you that being obese really isn't a good thing, either.

http://www.mefeedia.com/watch/30027811

Link works with Windows Internet Explorer. Doesn't work with Firefox.



People everywhere are making judgments about the suitability of possible marriage partners for all sorts of reasons, not just smoking, and often without even thinking about it. That's different from requiring someone to change after any degree of commitment is made. People generally are in for fewer failed relationships if they choose for similarity along dimensions which they deem to be most important. I won't ask a smoker out because I don't find smokers attractive. That's different from marrying a smoker and then expecting her to change.

Last edited by sgrannel on 02 Sep 2011, 3:23 pm, edited 5 times in total.

Definately a deal-breaker for me because I have sinus and throat problems. Cigarette smoke irritates my throat and eyes even more than they're usually irritated.

Plus I moved into a house a few years ago which had belonged to a smoker and it was a nightmare cleaning the nicotine/tar residue off everything. Yuck! Don't want to live like that.

Do you ave any friends by any chance?

I have lots of smoker friends, but their smoke has never been an issue. They go outside with other smokers to smoke.

@Avengilante: I am not prissy, and try hard every day not to be judgmental, but I am anti-smoker. Why? Because cannot stand cigarette smoke. As I cannot stand the smoke that comes out of some cars and buses. I feel like I am suffocating when I stand someone that is throwing smoke at my face. I am so sensitive that I can smell cigarrete smoke from a considerable distance, and cross the strett. I even tried to smoke once, because my ex-smoker husband told me it was to the same to inhale the smoke and to actually smoke. He was right. It was not the same. It was worst. The damn thing tastes horrible. And I do not care about cancer. We will have to die of something, right? But I think I have the right to inhale clean air. Or at least as clean as possible, so I do not care if you smoke or not, but if you do I do not want you around me. So no, I cannot date or marry a smoker.

And just for the record I am not fat, do not like twinkies or Big Macs (or any other "food" at McDonalds, et al.), and only drink diet soda like once or twice a week.

Last edited by Ilka on 02 Sep 2011, 6:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

not a deal breaker.

I've never met someone who smokes who if they didn't smoke I'd want to be friends with. And yes, I do have friends and a social group that I don't consider friends. And none of them smoke - they don't all agree with me, but its not been any issue. And if they did, then I wouldn't associate with them. It's not something I can physically do.



Going outside is far from enough for me. I said severe issues. I meant severe issues. I've never met or read about anyone with more severe olfactory issues. What for you isn't an issue, for me would have me literally vomiting from pain - its that extreme of a migraine trigger for me.

I've seen multiple doctors about this - the allergist called me an extreme case even (not an allergy, presents as if it is, all the negative side effects of an allergy but not a histamine response so antihistamines don't help). I've been having major issues getting employed because of this. I have major issues going in public rather than just hiding in my apartment with extra sealing on the doors and a nice air-filter. Every time I go to the grocery store, I leave with a headache. I've regularly had to leave restaurants because of this. Coffee shops I go to expecting to leave when this comes up. Having a friend who smokes is completely non-viable. The smoke that linger's on someone's clothing will in fact, cause a migraine for me and has caused me to have to do things like leave my grandfather's wake because of a migraine, and the funeral home had done a lot for trying to keep the air separate from outside and clean - it wasn't enough when someone was in the room who had smoked.

Not everyone is this reactive, but there are those of us at this extreme and many who aren't this far out but who react. I couldn't have a friendship when even without light, sound and movement my head felt like it'd explode and was enough pain to cause me to cry. Neither would I expect anyone to be around other migraine, asthma, and other such issues triggers.

Fair enough.

You are not alone there, Tuttle! My social life had reduced drastically because of smoke. And it gets everywhere. Once, my fiance and I rented a car because we were going on such a long drive and it was very hot. (His car has no A/C.) Anyway, whomever had rented the car before us, had smoked in it. At first I didn't notice because they use deodorizer in these rental cars. But after half an hour I felt ill. So, the smoking habits of someone else had the ability to affect me even if they weren't physically present. Smoke gets on everything. It stinks up furniture if the smoker goes outside and has a cigarette then comes back in and sits on the furniture. It clings to their hair and clothing and makes me ill.

There is a big difference in being able to choose not to mind smoke, and to have a severe physical reaction to it that reduces social interaction. I have had to leave social groups, refuse invitations where there might be smoking, etc. So the thought of being in a relationship with someone who will continuously smoke and make me ill is not at all appealing! And what if you want to have children? The smoker will subject those children to second hand smoke, and influence them to smoke as well when they grow up.