My Aspie Boyfriend is Controlling--Normal?

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This. 100%.

I'm often accused of being controlling when, in reality, I never insist on other people doing anything at all. It only seems to happen when I insist on controlling my own routine, environment, life.

Sometimes I will prepare my own meal, separate from what others are eating, but I have never insisted that others eat the same thing I do. Sometimes I'll need to leave a social event quickly, but I never make others leave with me. Sometimes I need five or six hours alone in a quiet room, but I have never told anyone what they should do during that time.

All of these things have gotten me accused of being controlling. Asocial or even rude (at least, if you don't understand my motive for behaving that way)? Maybe. But controlling? I don't see how it could be construed that way. And yet...

I'm accused of controlling too but I don't sweat it. I embrace the word. In fact go watch Dr. Phil on the episode about control freaks and those women on there are extreme. They want their partners to wear what they want them to wear or do what they want them to do and how to spend their free time, etc. No way am I like that and I felt sorry for them because they get anxiety if it's not their way and I can relate to that. So I knew they weren't doing it to be malicious, it's the anxiety that makes them. I wonder if there is a label for that.

Also I am accused of wanting to be in control when I do my own thing like play my game or do the computer or read or not participate when it's not the way I like it. My husband calls it me being in control of my environment. I don't think it's a bad thing so me getting offended by it would imply it's a bad thing. Same as for the controlling accusation. The control I do isn't a bad thing IMO so why get offended by it?

Maybe an other problem cause it? As an aspie i must control all. Maybe like izzeme says we need to avoid sensorial problem