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Love and Relationships? Hardest thing for an Aspie?

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Henbane
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01 Nov 2011, 11:58 am

mv wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Easily the biggest challenge in my life, everything else is almost trivially easy in comparison.

I may have to finally accept that it is one challenge I may never overcome - but that is completely contrary to my nature...


GET OUT OF MY MIND!! ! :wink: 8)



I can't be the only person who thinks you two would make a good couple. /InappropriateMatchmaking



League_Girl
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01 Nov 2011, 12:03 pm

Relationships are hard for everyone but they are harder for aspies. They are even hard for me and I was very lucky to meet a flexible guy. It's pretty much everything that is hard that you are supposed to do in a relationship. It's just too much for me and I feel I have no mental energy for it. It's like a chore and having to work 24/7. Can I ever get a break?



J-snukk
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01 Nov 2011, 12:04 pm

Henbane wrote:
mv wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Easily the biggest challenge in my life, everything else is almost trivially easy in comparison.

I may have to finally accept that it is one challenge I may never overcome - but that is completely contrary to my nature...


GET OUT OF MY MIND!! ! :wink: 8)



I can't be the only person who thinks you two would make a good couple. /InappropriateMatchmaking


I love trying to get two people together, it constantly amuses me.


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Wolfheart
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01 Nov 2011, 12:11 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Relationships are hard for everyone but they are harder for aspies. They are even hard for me and I was very lucky to meet a flexible guy. It's pretty much everything that is hard that you are supposed to do in a relationship. It's just too much for me and I feel I have no mental energy for it. It's like a chore and having to work 24/7. Can I ever get a break?


That's true, I'm happier when I'm not in a relationship, I feel free to do whatever I like and I don't feel tied down. When I am in a relationship, I feel emotionally drained because the girls I've had relationships with tend to be very clingy and possessive, you're extremely lucky to have met someone flexible and understanding of your routines and personal space. I prefer someone I can do joint activities with like playing video games or going to the gym, that way the focus isn't so much on the social aspects or dynamics and I feel less analytical about everything.



Kalika
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01 Nov 2011, 2:59 pm

Without a doubt, relationships/dating has been an area in which I've had the most difficulties. But I'm not sure how much of that has to do with Asperger's......I just know that if a guy is interested, he needs to be direct about it and kind of make the first move. (saying this because it's happened a few times in the past where I could have humiliated myself had I actually made a move)



J-snukk
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01 Nov 2011, 3:02 pm

Kalika wrote:
Without a doubt, relationships/dating has been an area in which I've had the most difficulties. But I'm not sure how much of that has to do with Asperger's......I just know that if a guy is interested, he needs to be direct about it and kind of make the first move. (saying this because it's happened a few times in the past where I could have humiliated myself had I actually made a move)


I think most men, NT or Aspie, would quite like women to make the 'first move' at least some of the time.


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nick007
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02 Nov 2011, 1:49 pm

I think the hardest thing for Aspies is living in a world full of NTs who cant relate. Some of us want relationships so we can have one person in our lives who we can hopefully somewhat connect with & get us


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MikeB2of10
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02 Nov 2011, 3:31 pm

seoulgamer wrote:
So yes, while it is challenging, once you've mastered the correct attitudes and behaviours I'd imagine it's just like anything else-try and try again. A big reason why Aspies tend to be unsuccessful, in love as well as other areas of their lives, is because they are undiagnosed and aren't getting the help they need to succeed.


Amen to that, I'm into the diagnosis process now.....would have been nice to know some of this before decades of unexplainable "why can't you" add normal relational behavior here.....questions that eventually lead to me saying I don't know, I just can't, followed by you are a/an .....add screaming insult here.....