I just came to realization

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anneurysm
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14 Nov 2011, 6:29 pm

Chronos wrote:

number2 wrote:

That I have been rejected alot of fine young ladies, I pretty much found this girl I had a crush on then I found her on facebook and msg her saying how I felt about her and she told me too suck it and blocked me.
When we met she was all flrity and I was kinda expecting this because there were times she kept saying "well if you don't like us get the f**k out of our face"
How do I stop rejecting females like this?

How well did this girl know you? It's advisable to form a mutual social relationships with someone such that they get the chance to know you, and you get the chance to know them, before you divulge that you have romantic interest in them.

If she barely knows you and you tell her of your romantic feelings she will likely think you are creepy because you don't actually know her and thus your feelings are a result of some "secret" relationship with an image of her you have constructed in your mind. Nor has she had the chance to form any affinity for you.

^^^^^^ And THIS. You really need to get to know someone before you tell them anything like that. And just because a girl wants to get to know you DOES NOT mean she is romantically interested in you. I have a lot of male friends, but I am only attracted to one of them. You really need to learn how to handle having girls as friends, and I can even teach you how.

_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.

SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

14 Nov 2011, 7:46 pm

Look at it like a project. Decide you are going to get good at dating.

It's possible to start with no experience, get enough practice, and have a girlfriend in six months.

You want a girlfriend.

number2
Toucan
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14 Nov 2011, 10:28 pm

anneurysm wrote:

SoftlyStepping wrote:

number2 wrote:

Alright but I think I'll go up to some girl that I like and tell her what I think about her. and post back how that would work. I'm 20 and never had a serious realtionship only like kids play but I kept rejected the girl who was intersted or came on too strongly.

You have a lot of sexual energy pent up inside you. This almost guarantees that you will over-commit to every woman who might be interested. This is a recipe for failure.

I would suggest dissipating the sexual energy by casually flirting with many women, perhaps on an online dating site. This way you have many friends who sort of like you. It's an amazing feeling, and releases the internal pressure that you feel.

Along with this is practicing the social skills that a woman desires in her boyfriend. Focus on learning the social skills. When you are confident to have a relationship, you have access to a pool of women who like you on some level. This is a good thing.

All of the above.

OP, if the person is me, I'm creeped out, but not surprised.
I'm not like everyone else, though, in that I will immediately dismiss you, because I understand the person you are, and unlike everyone else, I can explain why it is creepy and suggest tons of strategies that will help you have success with women. I have pretty good social skills and know what pleases people.

If we are ever going to meet, you have to get over me, but I can help you with that.
I absolutely do not want things to be awkward, because I only see you as a friend, and am not attracted to you at all.
As well, I know you go through a lot and want to help you, so I want to continue mentoring you...and I would not be comfortable with that if I am your person obsession.

I'm sorry if I creeped you out but I just find you attratictive I would like to know what don't you find attractive about me?
Also I don't need to get over you at all becuase what was I even over you about? regert mentioning you here how did you find this out?
So I want to make it clear I'm not obessed with you in any way I just thought you were kinda attrative and there's notthing wrong with that.

Last edited by number2 on 15 Nov 2011, 7:24 am, edited 4 times in total.

SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

14 Nov 2011, 10:58 pm

number2 wrote:

anneurysm wrote:

OP, if the person is me, I'm creeped out, but not surprised.

I'm sorry if it creeped you out but I just find you attratictive I would like to know what don't you find attractive about me?
I just don't know what I'm doing so I'm pretty much screwed =/

Awesome, you're starting to flirt a little. Go flirt with a lot of women and eventually you'll forget that you didn't have the skill. And you'll have lots of flirty friends. And maybe a girlfriend.

CrinklyCrustacean
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15 Nov 2011, 1:34 am

SoftlyStepping wrote:

number2 wrote:

anneurysm wrote:

OP, if the person is me, I'm creeped out, but not surprised.

I'm sorry if it creeped you out but I just find you attratictive I would like to know what don't you find attractive about me?
I just don't know what I'm doing so I'm pretty much screwed =/

Awesome, you're starting to flirt a little. Go flirt with a lot of women and eventually you'll forget that you didn't have the skill. And you'll have lots of flirty friends. And maybe a girlfriend.

How is that flirting? It's a direct question about why she doesn't fancy him.

number2
Toucan
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Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

15 Nov 2011, 7:27 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

SoftlyStepping wrote:

number2 wrote:

anneurysm wrote:

OP, if the person is me, I'm creeped out, but not surprised.

I'm sorry if it creeped you out but I just find you attratictive I would like to know what don't you find attractive about me?
I just don't know what I'm doing so I'm pretty much screwed =/

Awesome, you're starting to flirt a little. Go flirt with a lot of women and eventually you'll forget that you didn't have the skill. And you'll have lots of flirty friends. And maybe a girlfriend.

How is that flirting? It's a direct question about why she doesn't fancy him.

Agreed I'm not even flriting in any way it's just a question of intrest and I'm screwed all screwed up for bringing this unwanted attention to my self in the other way I kinda asked for it.

SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

15 Nov 2011, 11:26 am

Watch how you feel inside from this situation. This is something that you will overcome with time and practice.

What I am saying is, it is perfectly appropriate for you to flirt. You need to be comfortable and confident in your approach to women. It is impossible for you to "screw up."

Begin with this confidence. And then realize that the woman can sense how serious the flirting is. It's possible to say "let's elope tomorrow" in a lighthearted way and she laughs and thinks it's funny. Because it is so ridiculous, and someone as suave as yourself would know better than that.

Don't worry about saying the wrong thing.

Say something. Anything. To many, many women. Many will ignore and/or reject you. And you will find a few that respond positively.

The best place to do this is okcupid.

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