Facial Expression

Post Reply New Topic

i get told i look bored a lot. or miserable/angry. one person i know always says 'whats wrong with your face' when they first see me haha. i have no idea how to fix it. usually if i look in a mirror i can manage to find a more neutral/friendly looking expression which i then try to stick with. but for some reason i cant relax(?) my face without a mirror to help me

Judging from the replies so far, it sounds like it might be an Aspie thing after all...

I thought the facial expression (or lack there of) was commonly known to be a spectrum thing?

People ask me what's wrong all the time too. One time i was talking with the older of my two younger brothers, and he said something like "why do you look mad?" and i was like "i don't know, i'm not thinking about my face, 'cause i'm not looking at it." So he decided he should imitate my expressions so that I could be aware of them It was interesting at first, kinda like an interactive mirror, but we quickly devolved into making faces at each other, which turned into giggle fits

Your facial expressions look fine.

We need a video to know if there's anything unusual.

Yes, it's common for people on the spectrum to appear monotonous and lack variation in facial expression, tone and body language. I'm certainly guilty of it too, I tend to appear devoid of any emotion as you can tell from my display image. I've even had people assume that I'm depressed or that something is wrong when I've been feeling neutral so I can certainly relate to that.

I don't know if there is a way to fix it but I've heard that practicing in a mirror and mimicking actors in sitcom television shows can help people like us to appear more animated and vibrant but I'm not sure if it does as I've never tried it. People who aren't on the spectrum have a much wider range of expression and awareness when it comes to social situations so perhaps you could ask a trusted friend or family member who isn't on the spectrum to tell you how your facial expression is perceived by them and others at that particular moment or time.

I get the "you look mad" all the time. Of course, I am mad 95% of the time, but still. I even get it at the rare times when I'm happy.

Usually people who know me well aren't shy about telling me, the real problem is convincing them that my expression doesn't accurately reflect my inner state.

In addition to trying to learn "acting", I wonder how much we can expect our friends to "accomodate"? Meaning understanding that it's just how we are, and to generally ignore it...

People tell me I either look distant (they always assume I'm not listening to them) OR that I look upset when I'm perfectly calm.

You're definitely not alone in this.

You should consider if this is a problem for you in everyday situations, such as work situations, etc. If it isn't (and it doesn't seem like it is, or else you'd be aware of it more), I'd say forget about it.

Acting is a good way to learn how to match your facial expression with your inner feelings, but it takes so much of your energy and is exhausting (I know it's for me). So don't bother with it unless you're in a situation that absolutely demands it.

My friends and family know me and they do know how I feel based on my facial expression. So it's all I need, really.

It's only a problem with more intimate relationships, especially when you're dating an NT.

I see. Yes, that could be a problem, but as I understand, your relationship is still fairly new, right? Just give your NT some time. She'll learn to read you.

I don't have this sort of problems with my (NT) husband anymore. Except that he still sometimes think I'm not listening to him.

But I do think a little time is all you need. Just to let her learn how to read it.

I was once waiting for my mother in a store and just standing there.. neutrally not thinking much and a random guy actually yelled out to me to smile..

Anyway I've been bugged about needing to smile most of my life. I thought the people were weird.. I always thought I'm not miss america, I don't need to have a smile plastered on my face..

Now I do always smile as long as I think about it. I may not if I'm staring off in space, but I try to remember and any time I look at someone I do a lame smile. Some people think I'm always cheery now.. or they don't realize I'm smiling and in that case maybe I look normal by smiling.

I thought I was smiling one time, I did what I normally do.. person talks or looks at me and I fake smile my way through it.. and the person said she knows she wants to smile.. so I guess I look like a person almost smiling, but trying not to.. who knows. It was at a fair and some reason we sat down to watch a demonstration.. I hate those because then the people up there actually try to interact with the crowd and I don't like to be interacted with during a speech. I think in the end it seemed I was not impressed at all with the demonstration, when I was actually trying to seem nice.

I hardly ever smile, so whenever someone wants to take a picture of me, somebody always says you have got to smile now haha I always look sad, people tell me to cheer up all the time but thing is I am happy but my face gives the wrong idea.

Actually, she reads my thoughts so well it's scary, she's got those NT superpowers I guess.

Feelings are a different story, I talked to her on the phone yesterday and she asked me what was wrong! I guess my voice is as enigmatic as my face sometimes...

just try to smile a lot. the power of smiling to someone, and receiving a smile from someone is great. trust me, its science. theres a TED talk about it on youtube

I think that the only danger is with mimicking or acting is that you're putting up a facade and when that facade falls down and you revert back to being yourself, people will be confused, shocked or feel that you're not a genuine person. For instance, if you're acting confident, happy and outgoing one moment and revert back to being withdrawn and reserved, people will assume something is wrong or that you're not being yourself.