Obsessed with an Online Friend

Post Reply New Topic

Litigious, it isn't a question of whether I can "get away with it" or not.

The problems that I am talking about are the bad feelings that are caused by such an unhealthy attachment, in both parties.

And please don't post in this thread.

i get obsessed with people. usually one at a time. i'll try and find out everything i can about them and move on to my next 'target'.

i'm just fascinated with how people work. i can usually tell the difference between my obsessee (??) and the person i'd like to have a relationship with. hrm now that i think more about it, maybe not.

oh wait! yes! if my obsessee is equally obsessed with me i know that it's possible to take a riskier step by attempting to forge a relationship with him/her. this usually involves alot more confusion as i never quite 'got' the whole mating dance thing and fudge things up by then.

i don't really know a good way to break out of my people obsession, but i don't see it as a problem anyway, i take it as a form of pattern matching.

i just haven't quite figured out the pattern ::frowns::

have you tried shifting to a non-person obsession? that works for me too sometimes. like knitting and beading.....

Aridarr,

That totally sucks! And just like many others here, I totally understand what you're going through. For me, I met this one person online and I was like, wow this guy is an awful lot like me... very similar perspective of life, problems dealing with people, lots of self-confidence issues, etc. etc., and I wanted to be his friend. Turned out that he had AS (this all happened before I was even aware of the existence of AS, and thus before I realized I had it), but he was and still is in some serious denial. Denial as in, "I want to be normal, and it is wrong to be different!" He thought I was a freak for not leaving him alone, even though I only contacted him maybe twice or three times per week. What would be worse, obsessing over an NT who simply does not understand, or obsessing over an AS who actively puts down his own kind?? As an AS, he knew exactly how to hurt me, and he did it without a second thought. I was devastated about it.

I wish you the best of luck trying to switch your obsession, I haven't been able to do so quite yet. If you are successful, please let me know how you did it.

Aridarr,

is he married or engaged in some relationship?

Maybe in your country but not in mine. A female stalker has to be very aggressive and dangerous to even get sued for it.

I went through an experience like this about five years ago. I met an developed a friendship with a woman online, and we became very close over a two year period. After a while, though, it got to a point where I became uncomfortable with the amount of attention she was giving me. As an example, we were chatting online two or three times a day and she would still get upset that I couldn't be more available, or when I was going out for the evening. I think what it boiled down to was, she'd had so many experiences with losing friends and was so afraid of losing mine that she became obsessed with it.

Eventually, I told her she was making me uncomfortable, and initially that almost destroyed the friendship. But in the end, it made things better, and several years later she even apologized for treating me like that. We still talk on occasion, but she's mostly too busy to be online these days. I use this story as an example of honesty being the best policy.

I feel your pain.

Even as I type this... I feel your pain.

Suddenly I don't feel so alone any more. I get into this situation a lot, too.

It's never fun, and I never enjoy remembering it afterwards. But it keeps happening, and I hate it. It's most likely happening right at this moment, to be honest