Night Clubs

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http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_60/83_how_to.html Not necessarily so.

Anyways, I've been looking up night clubs in my area and there's this one goth club that gets a lot of good reviews. I'm having mixed feelings about that one though. I may wait until Thursday to go and check out a club because I don't want to throw myself into the deep end just yet. Becoming a regular really helps from what I heard.

I have gone off nightclubs a lot over the last couple of years, too many people thinking they are the 'best in the world' in them. I still go to some rock/punk/metal clubs as I enjoy the music and being around people with the same taste of music and most of the people I know go to these clubs.

I never have enjoyed more mainstream clubs, I am not a dancing/singing person or someone who likes to getting very drunk. I don't enjoy waiting at the bar for more than a couple of minutes.

Going to gigs is much more enjoyable I find

Mike

This is true, but I honestly can't think of anything. Club people are generally worse than the regular people for basically any kind of interaction.

And when I say "club people", I don't really think of any particular group... It's just that clubs in general tend to bring a side to humans I'm not really crazy about.

Still, what kind of a contact can you get in a club? A random hook up? (Not that I've tried that, but that's basically it).

Yep, thats pretty much it realistically. Though all the people ive met at clubs ended up being friends with afterwards.

Oh, I'm not saying great people don't go to clubs or that only the lowest of low go to clubs. I just don't see clubs as a good setting for meeting people. I prefer to meet them at a library... and then we can go to clubs, no problem

It's like people change in the clubs. I guess it's because rules for socializing are a bit different there. Not sure.

Does anyone who does go to clubs had trouble getting into one or more clubs? I heard that unless you're a woman, a bouncer would deny you entry for things as little as the way you're dressed. Of course if that's an issue, it's best to make a reservation up front and get on the guest list. I haven't heard about anyone going solo getting turned away. In fact, it's usually large groups of guys who always get rejected, especially later at night when the club is all but full.

I used to go with my coworkers, but, as much as I tried to, i could not learn to like it. The music is too loud to speak, the lights are dizzying, most people seem to go only to drink as much alcohol as humanly possible and I am too clumsy to dance (even though the so-called dances found on night clubs are ridiculously simple).

Besides, the few times I had girls trying to talk to me, I were not capable of reciprocating. As much as I would like to date, the prospect of having a woman interested in me still leaves me too astonished to react as I should.

In other words, if you are having troubles dating, night clubs probably will not change your situation.

I think it's an attitude thing. You said yourself that you have women approach you and you didn't have to do all the approaching. I think if you see it as this open opportunity to try things out, it's a lot better. If you're like "Yeah, this isn't for me", then it won't be.

I say you try it because clubs vary from city to city, but if you do decide to go and you're looking for a potential girl to date, don't drink too much and observe which girls are crazy and which ones are calmer. Not everyone who goes to nightclubs is a raging alcoholic.

if you are a raging alcoholic you would not be in a night club, more than likely in a pub or drinking at home alone.
pubs have a much higher number of men to women.
night cluns are known for their drugs, alcohol, loud music and illegal operations.
i have never been in a night club, the two big burly bouncers on the front door never accept me in because i am on my own.
they are actually doing me a favour even though at the time i may believe they are persecuting and discriminating against and just another bully.

lots of drunken/drug fueled guys either end up fighting each other for the few women available in the club that may or may not be sex workers.
sex workers frequently operate from night clubs and they demand a high price from their clients. female sex workers are in high demand and well they heavily outnumber male sex workers unless of course it is a gay night club.

I have been a couple of times, ended up just leaving the night club on numerous occasions due to sensory overload. got my knickers in a twist and people thought I was drunk (truth is I wasn't) I needed that time alone out of sight but people came to me My ears were ringing, my head was booming like its never boomed before and I think it's best sticking to pubs or something like that where it's not so crowded or noisy but then again pubs can be just that

I learned to flirt in goth clubs, and got much of my first practice with physical intimacy there.

I find talking to people more difficult than flirting with body language; dance floors with loud music provided a way for me to reduce the human mating ritual to a basic mutual nonverbal expression of interest going straight into making out, and from there to sex with little more than 'what's your name', 'I love your hair', 'would you like a drink?' and 'hey, you wanna get away from the crowd for a bit?'.

Still scary, and it took me a year or two of going out to gradually learn to smoothly leap even those few hurdles, but it was a big step forward from endlessly ending up as my love interests' casual friends because I couldn't get myself to pronounce affection.

Raza,

Actually, that's a valid point. If it helps people socialize a little and exit their comfort zone and gain a little confidence, it's a good thing.

But I'm not sure if night clubs can work for everybody.

Though I agree about communication: it is easier, in a way, to communicate with dancing, etc. than talking or usual non-verbal signs. But once again, not everybody's open to this.

The big thing with nightclubs is go into it treating it as a lark. Nothing is too serious inside a night club. If you go into a club expecting to find the love of your life, you will be sadly disappointed.

The great thing with a club is all the moral rules are relaxed to about 10% their normal level. It's no longer creepy to stare at every girl around. It's no longer creepy to go up to whoever you want and say hi. As long as you maintain a bare level of decorum -- don't go grabbing anything you wouldn't want your uncle grabbing on you -- you can pretty much do whatever you want.

The people who hate clubs are the ones who go there with a very serious intent of getting laid or finding a GF.

Stay loose, stay cool and chat with everyone. Take it as a chance to dress up a bit, drinking some over-priced booze, dance with some girls. And if something works out, hooray, roll with it.

The club, in its idealized form, is a suspension of reality and a reduction of norms. Enjoy it for what it is, but don't expect it to be anything.

I'm a guy and I go solo everywhere on the planet.

The only club that ever gave me s**t, anywhere on this Earth, was Keur Samba in Paris (I went there because it's part of rock history). I went down the next street, found a group of guys outside another club, we BS and partied for a few hours and then I asked them about the club. One guy said he had an in with the owner, we went and I got in. FTR, don't go to Keur Samaba . . . to call it a shadow of what the history books say it is is giving it too much credit. It still kills me to this day that the only club that ever refused me completely sucked ass.

On the upside, if I see a sad sap like you outside, I will use my magical powers to get you into the clubs. I'm a mensch.

The biggest trick to getting into the high-end clubs as a guy going solo is look like you will spend. A good dress shirt and fashionable jeans go a long way. Expensive suit jackets never hurt (except if you're going to a dive). A little stubble and a see-if-I-give-a-fuck attitude go a long way, too. And never wear obviously sh***y, suburban or workaday shoes. Either wear designer shoes or buy a pair of completely black basketball shoes -- at 1am, no one is checking too closely, and basketball shoes are a lot easier to dance in. A clever person, without the jacket, can put it together for a shade over a hundred dollars.

Tip decently, drink as good of booze as you can afford, dance with everyone, talk with everyone. You'll develop a feel for it in no time and then the doors practically open themselves.

The fellow Aspergers that I know who were brave enough to go to a night club reported the following findings:

Aspergers are usually socially awkward, introverted, socially misfits.
Aspergers do not have the people skills to be able to cope with night clubs.
A night club would be pure hell for an introvert or a person with aspergers.
Aspergers would stare and get really upset over the loud music and the flashing and flickering lights.
Aspergers are usually intense, stressed, anxious people who find it almost impossible to relax and be comfortable around people.
Aspergers could not understand why the drinks were twice as much as the pubs. Even bottled
water was expensive.
Most Aspergers did not have a good time at all and went either by themselves or with a friend or two.

Nearly every single Asperger I met would never ever set foot in a night club again in his/her life.

In conclusion night clubs are generally for young people without Aspergers, extroverts/out going people with friends. Night clubs are also full of perverts, drug dealers, drug addicts and prostitutes. Aspergers should steer clear from night clubs and remain the quiet innocent child-like person with Aspergers.