A quick story

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I agree, being nice isn't a desirable trait if you come off as desperate, insecure, clingy or willing to bend over backwards for someone. Being comfortable in yourself and feeling a sense of validation and genuine happiness in yourself without the approval of others is attractive.

It does sound like you've gone through a tough time with certain alcohol issues but I'm glad that you've overcome it and you should be proud of realizing it wasn't doing anything productive or good for you.

The funny thing is, I know a few guys who were nice AND confident who never got the girls. In one case off the top of my head (I have many, many stories like this ) a guy just said screw it and became a jerk. Not to get girls, mind you. He basically just became a huge jerk out of nowhere. Girls started riding his jock (figuratively and literally) after that. This guy made me wanna become a jerk, until I realized I hate jerks.

Women are quite different these days than they were even a decade ago. I dunno who to blame about this. The parents or the media.

EDIT: When I say "women" I'm talking about basically ones 23 and under. The ones who are 24+ will be much more likely to like a nice and confident guy, but the guy has to have a lot of luck too.

Last edited by DialAForAwesome on 04 Dec 2011, 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

the same question goes for all of us... how do you know we are not describing what we see on the ground before our own eyes?

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I guess this goes back to the natural selection theory. I can't adapt and I have no place in the social hierarchy. (if I do it's probably at the very bottom) I have been weeded out and deemed as unworthy to anyone as a mate.

I have no traits and/or characteristics that are view as desirable for mating.

I learnt this the hard way near the end of my teens. Before then I had always believe in what my grandma told me; If your nice, loving, kind, and caring you'll find a mate someday, you just have to keep searching.

I believed in that wholeheartedly, along with the golden rule BS, up until I started interacting the person I talked about in the OP. After hanging out with him for a while and looking at how females responded towards him versus me, I knew what believe up to that point with complete naive BS.

I started realizing why I was alone, why I couldn't get any dates, and why females didn't any interests in me. I was extremely repulsive, and had no attractive qualities. It's why don't have any dates now, and why the odds of me finding someone in the future is slim.

No amount of meekness is going to change that.

Your self fulfilling wish is granted!

Seriously, I don't know why anyone bothers responding to your posts any more. Harsh as this may sound you are your own worst enemy. Every post you make exudes self pity and misery. Of course nobody wants to date you - for that very reason alone! The strange thing is you seem totally unprepared to change and seem to enjoy wallowing in your "poor old me" misery. Your choice. I've wasted enough words on you.

No it isn't, there are lot of other reasons.

he is quite right. nothing that youve posted as a reason is something that you cant change.

Until you change your miserable outlook you are condemning yourself to a life alone. I've read your posts over the last year or so and if you behave in real life like you do in these forums you will likely drive everyone away with your ongoing negative attitude. People on these forums have given you lots of good advice but you always give more excuses why your life can't be better. That is all they are - excuses. Your own belief that you are a useless, ugly, smelly and uneducated worthless pile of crap is what is holding you back. While you continue to behave like that it is how people will treat you. Simple fact. I've never known anyone with such low self esteem as you. Until you address that problem your life will continue in the same miserable way.

The only way forward for you is to start making changes to your life and to stop whining about why you can't do it. I get the impression that you continually set yourself up to fail, so anything you try to do to make your life better you subconsciously sabotage so you can say to yourself "I knew that wouldn't work" - "I'm a miserable loser and it is what I expect". Voila! Back to square one again. You have got to break that cycle of believing you are a loser and make positive steps in your life.

OK... what is your next excuse? Ask yourself why you just continually come out with excuses for not taking steps to put your life on a better track!

MR20, a bit of practical help here. Take it or leave it.

It is clear to me your biggest problem is extremely low self esteem. Sorting this one thing will turn your life around for the better. The first step in conquering your problem is to understand it.

Do a Google search for "help with low self esteem" I brings up a number of websites with practical help and advice to get you started.

Alternatively just follow this link:

http://www.google.co.uk/search?sclient= ... tnG=Search

No, as far as I can tell, the main reason why you don't have dates is your low self-esteem that prevents you from doing anything productive. That's the key thing you need to change. Why would a girl want to be with someone who talk s..t about himself 24/7? She might not have enough patience to tell you all the time you're not ugly or whatever is that you think of yourself.

I mean, you've received some compliments and some good advice on both your character and physical appearance, and you disregarded them all, claiming you know how worthless and horrible you are.

That's the thing you need to change about yourself.

You are describing things before your eyes, but what I see before my eyes is more relevant to me. That's mutual I guess.

I guess we're curious (I know I am) to know what are the things that you think are much different than how we see them.

Well, it's complicated to explain if you're new.

But many WP users on this board had expressed idealistic views on life that do not meet at all the reality I personally witness on daily basis, like for example how that only a very small minority of girls care about men's wealth and so on, or like the appearance is not at all important ....stuff like that.

I meant, in this particular thread.

Now, in my experience, some women care about the wealth, but most don't. On the other hand, women do care about a man's physical appearance more than they're willing to admit. (<- my experience).