nice girl raises my hope in chat, just to mostly let me down

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I meant to put a winking smiley face in the subject header but ran out of space. That's how unserious I was.

Redacted

Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

Honey, he was making a joke in reference to the OP. Lighten up.

I was just trying to be all Alpha and sh*t - I thought I was sexy...

I know you didnt make this thread feeling bad (which BTW I think its great of you to be willing to joke around) but i agree that simply getting in a IM type of thing doesnt mean they like you. I would let actions speak for that.

Even though the woman was the initiator of the chat she started with a negative comment, or at least one that was negative to the chances of you two having a relationship, i.e. "hope you find a nice girl soon", though I don't know what the purpose of that was. After that, it sounded like she couldn't leave the chat quickly enough, stopping around to answer the hair colour question merely out of politeness.

Part of it was that I was trying say she was NICE ENOUGH TO EXPLAIN BY IM, and not block me. I have bit of an odd sense of humor, and maybe I didn't post it correctly to that I was intending humor.

Ah I see. Humour is lost on me as usual.

I didn't get one thing. The question about the hair colour... What's a big deal about it? Is it seen as a huge no-no or something?

Yes, it's a huge no-no, at least for generations past (not so much now, when people can freely dye their hair whatever color they want, even colors not found in nature). You would never intimate that a woman's beauty wasn't "natural" and god forbid you noticed that she was dyeing it to cover gray (thus calling her old). This taboo probably realistically went out in the 70's, which was the last gasp of the L'Oreal ad tagline - "Does she, or doesn't she?" (Meaning does she color her hair or doesn't she color her hair? The rejoinder to that ad in the 50's and 60's was "Only her hairdresser knows for sure!" (that's how good a quality L'Oreal was meant to be in evenness, etc.))

Depending on the age and miniculture of the OP's chat friend, she may lean toward old-fashioned values about this. I've been taken aback when people have noticed a change in my hair color, not because of the vanity issues I point out above but because I was surprised since it was generally understood that you never, ever talk about it. (I'm 44.)

Hope that helps!

The subject of their hair colour is something women are never offended by when I raise the subject in internet chats.

Thanks for the explanation! I never thought this could be an issue.

Like I said, it's mostly a holdover from a bygone era. Just thought you would like some historical perspective.

mv, excellent explanation. funny but i've seen young women lie about colouring/dyeing/bleaching their hair, so i think the social stigma is alive and well. perhaps to a lesser degree than previously, but it seems that some women still don't always want people to know - even the younger set. for me, i'm always surprised when people ask me if i dye my hair because i assume it looks pretty fake lol. i don't think super-pale skin and black hair happen together naturally too often

Not really, I was being serious ;P.

with apologies to hyperlexian, I didn't get this explanation from mv. How is it a holdover from a bygone era?