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nick007
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28 Dec 2011, 8:04 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
How would you like a girl to ask you out?

I would love it if a woman would straight out tell me she liked me or was interested in me. I'm waiting to hear that ladies :wink:


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minervx
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28 Dec 2011, 8:06 pm

I think it is a matter of just doing it, without being on either extreme of trying too hard and appearing desperate or trying not to be desperate and playing games with them.

Just ask it casually, like not a matter of life or death.

Everything else is up to him (or her if the guy were the one asking)



minervx
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28 Dec 2011, 8:12 pm

nick007 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
How would you like a girl to ask you out?

I would love it if a woman would straight out tell me she liked me or was interested in me. I'm waiting to hear that ladies :wink:


You would. And a number of other Aspies would.

But saying "I'm interested in you" to most people would be a disaster.

But in most cases, I believe the unwritten rule is "don't talk about where you stand with the person you date (at least early on)".

It's one of those silent things.



RikersBeard
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28 Dec 2011, 8:31 pm

Quote:
I would love it if a woman would straight out tell me she liked me or was interested in me


Quote:
without being on either extreme of trying too hard and appearing desperate or trying not to be desperate and playing games with them.


This is the beauty of the line used on me, it removes all fear of rejection, a big issue for a huge number of men, particularly the young. By allowing the man to plan the date and that he has to officially ask her to accompany him on it means it doesn't seem too desperate or forward on the part of the woman. It opens the metaphorical door, allowing the man to "play" the pursuer from the beginning, the nature of the opener means that the fact that it is was the woman who made the first move is quickly forgotten.

I'll say it again "clever girl" :D


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ral31
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28 Dec 2011, 8:32 pm

Just ask me if I want to go on a date with you.
If I stand there saying nothing and looking stupid then that means "yes, I'd love to go."

*that "if you want to take me out" bit mentioned earlier is pretty good, might get me past my usual shutdown.
If you are thinking of asking some guy out, I'd say go for it and try that line.


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minervx
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28 Dec 2011, 9:26 pm

To respond to an above commenter.

I am talking about most cases, not the less comment exceptions.

I still do not think saying "I'm interested in you" at the beginning is prudent, in most cases.

1. How would someone know if they are interested or not, when the two people haven't dated yet? Interest takes time to develop.

2. It corners the recepient of the invitation who may not be sure if he is interested in her to decide. Rather, give him time.

While "I am interested in you" will weed out wasting time with the uninterested, it will weed out the people who would have been interested but felt you took things too fast.



Trigas
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28 Dec 2011, 10:00 pm

A good bit of conversation to alleviate the stress of the situation followed by her setting up a planned date and giving me her number. It's only happened once so far so I think I'm better off trying other things :roll:


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BillyJoe
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29 Dec 2011, 1:08 am

I would greatly appreciate it.



nick007
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29 Dec 2011, 2:25 am

minervx wrote:
To respond to an above commenter.

I am talking about most cases, not the less comment exceptions.

I still do not think saying "I'm interested in you" at the beginning is prudent, in most cases.

1. How would someone know if they are interested or not, when the two people haven't dated yet? Interest takes time to develop.

2. It corners the recepient of the invitation who may not be sure if he is interested in her to decide. Rather, give him time.

While "I am interested in you" will weed out wasting time with the uninterested, it will weed out the people who would have been interested but felt you took things too fast.

I guess it depends on if your friends or know each other a bit. A month & a half ago when I went get my hair cut; a girl asked me if I had a girlfriend :D I said Yes because I did at the time & the girl said Darn. The one time a girl actually came on to me offline was two weeks before my girlfriend broke up with me. I have the shittiest timing in my life :x :(


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Sagroth
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29 Dec 2011, 2:46 am

I like what RikersBeard suggested.

And on a personal note, I've never successfully asked a girl to date me. All of my girlfriends over theyears decided to ask me out. The closest I've come to doing so successfully was asking a girl after kissing for 10 minutes in a movie theater: "So does this mean we're going out now?"


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29 Dec 2011, 3:07 am

RikersBeard wrote:
I had a good line used on me quite recently. She grabbed my arm and sweetly said "You know if you ever want to take me out somewhere, I'll say yes"

Clever girl :P

This looks bloody good. I may have to use it myself sometime ... then as a fairly socially inept woman you'd have to be pretty sure of your ground, wouldn't you, all the same? Like, what if you had no chance on earth with the guy? Unless you were smooth as silk ... could just glide on past quickly, leaving him to think about it ... no jarring jangles ... face saved all round ... you'd still get that horror/uncomfortable look from him, wouldn't you? Still have to deal with all the social fallout of his embarrassment and general avoidance in future? See? So many more reasons not to risk it than to try it. Just sayin. Does sound good, though. Turning the tables, I guess it be nice if some guy used it on me ... as long as he didn't start hanging around all sheeps' eyes and longingness ...

God, it's amazing anyone ever hooks up ever at all, really, innit.



ArthurDent
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29 Dec 2011, 7:03 am

Establish common interests firsts and be direct I cannot stress that enough directness is key also I like it when a woman is assertive but also kind and who likes men who are not very masculine.



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29 Dec 2011, 7:54 am

Just say directly that she is interested in me. I hate when women send mixed signals. Actually, I hate mixed signals period. Body language is overrated.



lcee
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30 Dec 2011, 3:00 pm

Whatever you do, don't drop very subtle hints unless he knows you well and would be able to pick up on them. Be direct and honest. That can still include playfulness.



whiteofmouth
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30 Dec 2011, 5:20 pm

lcee wrote:
Whatever you do, don't drop very subtle hints unless he knows you well and would be able to pick up on them. Be direct and honest. That can still include playfulness.


Seconded. Don't be subtle, I commonly mistake a girl who's trying to express interest as just being nice (as if I would act on it, if I did decode it). Regarding the playfulness, if you're using that as an attention-grabbing tactic don't show any other guy that same level of attention in his presence. Observing the different levels of attention being passed around (and to who) in a social situation is pretty much all I've got to go by.



nick007
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30 Dec 2011, 5:23 pm

lcee wrote:
Whatever you do, don't drop very subtle hints unless he knows you well and would be able to pick up on them. Be direct and honest. That can still include playfulness.

That depends on the guy. Aspie guys tend to have major problems picking up hints; I sure do(especially when the girl has previously told me that she only wanted to be friends with me when I had tried coming on to her) I assume she's just being friendly & I would not respond to her hints the way I am supposed to. Subtle hints can work very well for NT guys thou. My point is you shouldn't have a set standard way to tell any guy your interested in him because guys can be quite different so you should try to tailor the approach to the specific guy


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