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So my mom asked me when am I going to get a girlfriend...

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vivdiva
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04 Jan 2012, 11:51 am

Why are you female???? Im single now!

I never get the breaks.

Can I put you on speed dial and let you verbalize my life for me? "Cuz I suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. "Yo momma" is about the top of my game.



mv
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04 Jan 2012, 11:56 am

vivdiva wrote:
Why are you female???? Im single now!

I never get the breaks.

Can I put you on speed dial and let you verbalize my life for me? "Cuz I suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. "Yo momma" is about the top of my game.


Aw, what a nice compliment! Trust me, I have plenty of "uuuuuh" moments, too. It got easier with age, though (I'm 44, too old besides being too female!).



vivdiva
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04 Jan 2012, 1:12 pm

meh - Im 43. and I still have no clue.



mv
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04 Jan 2012, 1:14 pm

vivdiva wrote:
meh - Im 43. and I still have no clue.


Oh, sorry, I got the sense that you were much younger, (I think) from your writing style.



vivdiva
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04 Jan 2012, 4:38 pm

you're supposed to say from my PHOTO!! !! Geeze!

Thank you! I about 18 emotionally.Not my fault time wont stop.



OneStepBeyond
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04 Jan 2012, 6:38 pm

my mum's started hinting, ahnoo



MCalavera
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04 Jan 2012, 6:39 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
my mum's started hinting, ahnoo


She wants you to have a girlfriend, too, eh?



OneStepBeyond
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04 Jan 2012, 6:44 pm

MCalavera wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
my mum's started hinting, ahnoo


She wants you to have a girlfriend, too, eh?


*shakes fist at liberal parenting*



nick007
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04 Jan 2012, 7:32 pm

Quote:
So my mom asked me when am I going to get a girlfriend..

Least your mom didn't ask you when you were going to get a boyfriend :o My mom said something like that to me when I was like 20 & I'm straight


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04 Jan 2012, 8:35 pm

sgrannel wrote:
. . . Recently I went to the movies with a dating candidate. I liked her new perfume, but I could smell nothing but ashes and smoke after a third person in the car lit a cigarette. . .

That combination of social nonrespect or at least noncommunication, I mean, what it is, is what it is, combined with sensory issue and/or health issue, can really throw me off my game.

And in this day and age, lighting up in the car is almost socially unacceptable. Or the person should have asked and asked in a real way, and unless everyone said okay, should have backed off graciously. But, people who smoke at times really want to smoke. So sometimes they need one in and hope no one complains.

The fact that she does the head rocking thing, may be aspie friendly. May have some stuff in common. And with the animals, maybe you could just directly say, 'I have some issues with animals.'

And I think the first couple of dates low-key, and it sounds like this was a double date of some sort, I think is a perfectly credible way to do it.



machf
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04 Jan 2012, 11:24 pm

vivdiva wrote:
meh - Im 43. and I still have no clue.

Ditto.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
. . . Recently I went to the movies with a dating candidate. I liked her new perfume, but I could smell nothing but ashes and smoke after a third person in the car lit a cigarette. . .

That combination of social nonrespect or at least noncommunication, I mean, what it is, is what it is, combined with sensory issue and/or health issue, can really throw me off my game.

And in this day and age, lighting up in the car is almost socially unacceptable. Or the person should have asked and asked in a real way, and unless everyone said okay, should have backed off graciously. But, people who smoke at times really want to smoke. So sometimes they need one in and hope no one complains.

I thought cars should be included within the definition of "public spaces" and as such, the smoking prohibition should apply to them. AT least, it does apply to public transportation around here. And given what a small, enclosed space a car is, it should apply even more...



Ellendra
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05 Jan 2012, 2:53 pm

My extended family has been nagging me about when I'll be getting married since I was 12. I'm 30 and still single.

My immediate family is a little different. Mom says I can date or not, as long as I'm careful (too many of her cousins dated abusers or had ugly divorces). My dad, on the other hand, is convinced that any guy I'd be interested in would have to be an abuser by definition. He started trying to get me into support groups for abuse victims back when I was so young I still thought boys had cooties. Gee dad, thanks for the vote of confidence!

Sometimes it's just easier not to date. I want to find a nice guy to settle down with, but the emotion zoo at home is just too hard to navigate. Maybe after my house is built.



nick007
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05 Jan 2012, 4:09 pm

Ellendra wrote:
My extended family has been nagging me about when I'll be getting married since I was 12. I'm 30 and still single.

My immediate family is a little different. Mom says I can date or not, as long as I'm careful (too many of her cousins dated abusers or had ugly divorces). My dad, on the other hand, is convinced that any guy I'd be interested in would have to be an abuser by definition. He started trying to get me into support groups for abuse victims back when I was so young I still thought boys had cooties. Gee dad, thanks for the vote of confidence!

Sometimes it's just easier not to date. I want to find a nice guy to settle down with, but the emotion zoo at home is just too hard to navigate. Maybe after my house is built.

Maybe your dad has a bad opinion of guys in general & would not have a problem if you were dating a guy who was kind of the opposite of the stereotypical masculine guy type; like someone who's sweet, sensitive & kinda passive. That type might make a good impression


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sgrannel
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05 Jan 2012, 4:12 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
. . . Recently I went to the movies with a dating candidate. I liked her new perfume, but I could smell nothing but ashes and smoke after a third person in the car lit a cigarette. . .

That combination of social nonrespect or at least noncommunication, I mean, what it is, is what it is, combined with sensory issue and/or health issue, can really throw me off my game.

And in this day and age, lighting up in the car is almost socially unacceptable. Or the person should have asked and asked in a real way, and unless everyone said okay, should have backed off graciously. But, people who smoke at times really want to smoke. So sometimes they need one in and hope no one complains.

The fact that she does the head rocking thing, may be aspie friendly. May have some stuff in common. And with the animals, maybe you could just directly say, 'I have some issues with animals.'

And I think the first couple of dates low-key, and it sounds like this was a double date of some sort, I think is a perfectly credible way to do it.


I think the third person's smoking is done out of compulsion rather than deliberate nonrespect, but it and other stressors may have made me more noncommunicative than usual. Some of these stressors can be disruptive even if one doesn't have unusual or excessive sensory difficulties. I've noticed that I tend to get angry easier when I've been exposed to stressors for a long time.

It had occurred to me that the dating candidate might be more tolerant of my occasional loud talking and other issues than the median person might be. I wouldn't say I have issues with animals in general because I do keep a bird of my own. I just wouldn't want it to be a financially all-consuming thing, a hygiene issue, or a health hazard. I don't want to be stepping in piles of things that might contain worms, track it onto the carpet, get the residue on my socks from the carpet, and transfer that onto the bed or the couch where I might inadvertently rub my hands onto it before handling food. That's a bit of a reach but you can see where this is coming from. That and I don't like animals that scream.

Screaming, screaming screaming! What's with all the screaming? Why won't they stop?

http://www.vbox7.com/play:b12c7f8a?r=google


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qwan
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05 Jan 2012, 6:51 pm

sgrannel wrote:
AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
I don't want to be stepping in piles of things that might contain worms, track it onto the carpet, get the residue on my socks from the carpet, and transfer that onto the bed or the couch where I might inadvertently rub my hands onto it before handling food. That's a bit of a reach but you can see where this is coming from.
http://www.vbox7.com/play:b12c7f8a?r=google

Can't the eggs of worms survive in the dust like those of pinworms? Because that'd be worse.



vivdiva
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05 Jan 2012, 9:34 pm

Quote:
Can't the eggs of worms survive in the dust like those of pinworms? Because that'd be worse.


Oh, geeze! Don't encourage!

I've been reluctant to say anything because I find your inputs enlightening. Generally I'm just a sucker for someone that makes me laugh and "gets me". Considering the roaring bonfire that is my love life, perhaps I should be more "aspie like" in my entanglements? Having said so, finding a person that fits you is hard enough, I cant imagine adding their pets or someone else's bad manners into the mix. I'm amazed no one suggested telling the smoker to put it out LOL. And pets? Well, perhaps that need would be filled by YOU (and a swiffer. Maybe that cool steam thing I saw on TV).

If outside influences are so distracting, how about a date where they are minimized? Something quiet where you can focus on whether SHE is a fit? Sounds like you are - what is that phrase - paying interest on trouble before its due?

Just my NT 2 cents.


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