How do you avoid being nervous on a date?

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In your case, you say that you feel socializing is unnatural which I can completely understand, I find socializing to be emotionally draining at times and it takes me strong amounts of energy because I tend to analyze and be self conscious about it.

I think the difficulty is that when you can't read body language or facial expressions, you end up fixating and analyzing too much which causes emotional and mental strain. That could be a common factor as to why many of us on the spectrum enjoy doing activities that involve being alone.

The only thing that makes me nervous on a date is when, during the actual date, I start to wonder if I am living up to expectations. At those moments I tell myself to just be me and that should be good enough.

Also, stop focussing on yourself and try and see how the other person is behaving. This takes your attention off your own anxieties.

You can't avoid that. However, make sure that your first date is at least an hour long, or long enough to get used to a new person. Then hopefully, by time the date ends and on your second date, you will no longer be nervous.

Yes! Plus (and I can only speak from the older female point of view), there's this ... *onus* on the (older) woman to be charming and engaging and "fun", where I am assessing and analytical. I've watched myself torpedo more than one date, doing this.

I can do the charming and engaging and fun thing, it just takes everything I have, and I can only keep it up for about 2 hours. And, ultimately, that just isn't *me*. I'm willing to do it on occasion, but most people want that all the time.

Social drinking helps me. Its kind of a No-No since I have Crohn's disease ( in remission. Phew!) but it certainly makes me more relaxed around the opposite sex. This only works if you are old enough to drink though.
I don't know if anti-anxiety drugs would help or not, in my case.

Matthew

I used to be nervous on dates, but then i took an arrow to the knee


...on a more serious note, i've gone on so many dates and never had anything come out of it so basically i stopped being nervous of that reason.

If you go out on a date worrying that you:
A - Not to make an ass out of yourself - or your date
B - Hope to score some
C - Not to come off as too unintrested or too desperate

then you will probably just fail. Go out without any expectations and just hope to have a good time together.