Think I was a bit too harsh...(Any advice?)

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Probably. I have read that you should always break up with your partner in person. Whoever gave you that advice was wrong. I hope that person was naive.

I have done a similar thing. I can remember wanting to break up with my ex and I should have when we were separating but I was on the fence then about it. We may have broken up that day and I just didn't get the hint because neither of us said "Let's break up" or "We are breaking up" "Now we have broken up" We have both agreed we were not compatible with each other. But that one night a few weeks later, I had a meltdown because of what happened on the phone between us and what he was doing to me and it was causing me anxiety, I put my dating profile back up and posted crap here about him for months just to piss him off even though I knew I would not get his reaction. I just didn't care then and I was so pissed and that upset and hurting.


Maybe it was wrong of me too to put my profile back up. I just decided I wanted to break up with him but I also wanted to tell him in person too but never got to because he never answered his phone and he always said he was busy and I could have driven to his work at night and broken up with him there but I was also not sure how to do that either. Plus he was going through depression too and I didn't want to add to it but I didn't know what to do then. Now I realize I should have not cared and just do it. Besides I am sure he got the hint but I was too afraid that what if he didn't pick up on it because of his AS. But once mom told me he had moved on and we weren't together, it took so much pressure off me and I felt happy all of a sudden and I felt free. So I stopped calling him and IMing him. I couldn't believe I didn't get the hint and that was because he told me he had been busy. But mom also tells me it's not wrong to do a silent break up by never answering the phone again or their emails or IM. Some people just don't want to hurt their feelings so they do it that way. So was it wrong to change you status to single?

1) Never decide to dump someone because of what other people have said. It just makes you look like you don't have a mind of your own.

2) Whoever you took that advice from is clearly an idiot, or just incredibly shallow. These decisions need to be made by yourself and not influenced by others.

3) Harsh? Well that's an understatement, you couldn't have been any ruder if you tried, if you're going to end a relationship you should always tell them in person not via text, phone call or the internet and certainly not in the manner in which you acted..

If he's p*ssed at you, then you deserve it, the best thing you can do is accept responsibility and admit you was wrong, don't try pass the buck by claiming you were badly advised or attempt to make the situation easier for yourself. That will only make him angrier.

That would be an awful way to find out that you've been dumped. But mistakes are learning experiences ... don't dwell on it, just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Yeah it has been a learning curve.

Although just to clarify, it was purely my decision to break up with him. The method in which to do so I was given advice on. Also I attempted to talk to him but he ignored me.

That doesn't make the way you chucked him acceptable. If he was ignoring you then perhaps you should have asked him why he was doing so in the first place. He might have had something else going on in his life which meant he didn't feel like feeling sociable.

Very good points. #1 was pretty much what I was thinking.. being someone who has been judged harshy by others who have never spoken to me makes me especially fierce about that issue.

I didn't say it was acceptable. At the same time I couldn't actually get a hold of him. For a couple of weeks.

I would be fuming at someone who dumped me at the click of a mouse. Don't be surprised if he blows up at some point. That is a really, really nasty thing to do.

Perhaps your friend was trying to get you into trouble, or hurt him, because I can't imagine even many aspies recommending such a thing, let alone an NT who actually has social skills of any sort.