Fear of talking with females

Post Reply New Topic

^^^ now you're making a different point altogether. men and women are both "choosers" when it comes to relationships. there is a perception that somehow women are picky because they have the men doing the "asking out" a lot of the time in our society. but the man is being picky when he choosees who to ask out.

women are not any pickier than men, they just might be pickier about different things. some females may find it easier to find sex, but they may find it harder to find a long term relationship. sex is only one aspect of a relationship.

you would experience the pickiness of women more often, and i would experience the pickiness of men more often, so we see opposite sides of that same issue. there is no reason to think that men or women suffer less due to the pickiness of the opposite sex either.

there are also women who go years and decades without sex (or love) and who suffer for not getting it. not everyone wants it, but that goes for both men and women. for the people who do want it and cannot have it, we cannot divide their suffering along gender lines.

Not just to males and females, I have the same condition with every stranger.

i wonder how common it is.

is there some way to work past it or is it like a social phobia?

I don't have that issue when it comes to close friends though, and I am okay in slightly social occasions with a few acquaintances.

The person who wrote that article fails Biology forever. The Y chromosone will only die out if humanity dies out.

I have to admit sometimes I feel lucky to have been born in the West simply because I didn't have false, degrading, political, misogynist views on women forced on me. To some extent, however, they are/were around me causing a slight disgust in male-kind. Many women are damaged by the sexist treatment the've received all their lifes.
I agree that a society where women are equals to men is quite different from most of those we know of. However even our traditions disappear the world doesn't end with that. It's a chance of progress and a better life for all of us. Also it is said that in cultures where females are liberated men get more sex
3. Which only sows that females are motivated to break from this oppression and create themselves a better life than they've seen so far.
4. Females for some reason are almost demonized in some cultures. It's only irrational mysticism. On the other hand what are the fairytales for girls? That a handsome prince comes and saves them. Also a lot of men are viewed as evil. Anyhow, it's only natural that there are women who charm men with their looks and then take their money and there are even more men who buy (with money or sweet lies) the girl who looks good.
And one more thing, I don't think that the Bible's views on women are particularly fair either.

I think the first step to overcoming this issue is to start talking to girls with no intention of forming a romantic relationship. Forget that they are girls and simply talk to them in a polite, family friendly manner as you might with any stranger. You can start the conversation around a neutral commonality. For example, make a comment to a female class mate about the class or even ask a question about what they think about the class. Avoid asking overtly personal questions that might make her feel threatened.



I think it's important to recognize that you did not actually fall in love with her. You fell in lust, and you didn't actually fall in lust with her, you fell in lust with a person you constructed in your mind who looks like her. In actuality, her personality could be entirely different than you imagine.



Very good. This was perfectly acceptable.



And if she hadn't and no man other than you had sights for her, would she have lived her life and died before you ever approached her? In other words, it is easy for many of us with social issues to say "I was going to approach this person but x person did instead" when in reality, we never were going to approach the person because we never took the initiative to address the issues that were preventing us. That's unfortunate because in the end, maybe that special person did live their life and die without ever meeting us.

At the same time, she might not have been the one for you and she could have rejected you. You have to be able to accept rejection if you want a relationship because it is one of the many risks of socialization.



Having a girl will not make you normal. A girl is not a solution to your inner personal problems. They are human beings and they often have their own inner personal problems.

Many colleges and universities these days have groups for individuals on the spectrum aimed at improving social skills, you might see if your campus had one. Also, do work at acclimating yourself to just talking to girls as normal human beings. Work on small talk even if the conversation only consists of a quick exchange of hellos and goodlucks before an exam, or a question about the homework or something that was said in class.

it helps males to realise just how programmed females are to want to love a man and be in a relationship with him (for Christians see Gen 3.16; her “desire shall be toward your husband” - and this is also totally clear from everything in popular culture and from what you'll see your sister's etc doing with their time and energy)