Dating a guy with asperger's

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That is *extremely* common. There are 2 aspies in my family. Myself, and my dad. We are both like this. My NT mum and sister are not. It has to do with organisational skills and life skills, or lack thereof. It can also be related to depressed and ADD, two things that often come with aspergers.

It isn't laziness. It's an underlying problem.

My life skills are so poor my NT flatmate who was a year younger than me kept having to remind me to pay the rent.

I'm a lot like this too. Having spent the last 30 years not knowing I was partially AS I just felt that I was lazy and not very good at being an adult. And so I still do. I'm really unclear how to perceive the fact that my frequent piles of clothes or not doing the washing up until I am about to go to bed relate to a potentially tangible disorder as opposed to me just being lazy. If I think i'm being lazy and know I'm not doing X Y or Z, does it matter if there is a "reason" for it at all??

what's "partially AS"?

Not sure TBH, I was diagnosed with "most" traits of aspergers. I need to pay a bunch more money to have a formal description of it, so for now "partial" seems the best bet!

I just started dating a guy with high functioning Aspergers. I find it intriguing. I have bipolar type II and sometimes I become emotionally distant and have learned to read expressions and posture when I'm in a "black-and white" phase. I'm currently teaching my boyfriend the basic emotions in others and how to respond to those facial features. Once he gets that, then we will move on to basic body posture. So far I've given him images of various emotions as well as a list of the basics with their description (relaxed smile, arched eyebrows, etc).

If you really want to help him, go online and google it. Read about it. He may not want to talk about the issue, but explain to him that you want to know so you can understand him better. I let Dylan know that if he ever wanted to know what I was thinking or feeling to just ask me, and I would answer him no matter what. That is one thing that really helped.

I'm really fortunate that he is willing to talk about his disability, so I try to be as open with him about mine as well... even though I have days where I don't want to talk about it. Communication is key in my opinion. I wish you the best of luck ^_^

depending on where he is at on the spectrum, pushing him into work is kinda like throwing a kid who doesnt know how to swim into the ocean. its not easy, to say the least, ESPECIALLY if he is like i am, and had trouble adjusting to learning i had asperger's. i was diagnosed with aspergers and depression at 18, and for a few years after that, and even now (im 23), i have trouble with a lot of things. being around people, and interacting with people, especially strangers is super scary when you havent learned your 'NT Mask' as i'd like to call it.

he might be in the process of learning to build his 'NT Mask'. i mean.. does he make an effort to not stand out, and to be less socially awkward? im still abysmal at this, but im getting much much better. i think more people think im dumb and or eccentric than autistic. sad to say but its true. i have a lot of struggles with things, and im sure he is the same way.

because of this, it can be very hard to adapt to the pressures of life.

you are right, he probably does need to get a job. he needs to interact with people as much as possible so he can build his social prowess up. he needs to be ready, though. it sounds like he might be depressed, and maybe getting re-grounded is the right step right now. i cant say for sure, but stagnating isnt optimal, it just makes it worse.

oh, and i only really shave if theres a girl that i like. aside from that, i could really care less if im a grizzly man. it might be that he simply could care less about it. if you express that its important to YOU that he stays shaved, then he might be more willing to do it without you asking. you might have to pester him a bit about it though. XD

OP, I can relate to your bf, from the sound of things. I also am Aspie, and kind of slobby and lazy sometimes. It can be different for different sufferers. Some Aspies are very organised and neat. Others not so much.

I also suffer from depression, and probably ADHD as well. Common comorbidities with Aspergers. I think if you and him can work out an arrangement you're both happy with, you should be OK. Good luck!

I have AS and don't have much motivation to do stuff either. But then again I have depression/anxiety as well, for which I take medication, and those meds can apparently cause a lack of motivation as well. It's hard trying to work out where the problem lies exactly.
If you're always telling him to do stuff, then I can't see any future in your relationship. Sooner or later it'll fall apart, either because you'll get sick of him not doing what you're telling him to do and/or because he'll get sick of your nagging.