How to know if a female is flirting with you?

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I think people put too much stock into the whole "signs of flirting" because there have been so many times a woman was not flirting but she was doing alot of those things so the guy thinks she likes him and makes his move only to discover she was not interested.

Then you have the males where the female thinks he likes her but he really does not. "But he was showing all the signs!"

The only way you will truly know is if you invite the person to hang out and see if anything happens. If the person rejects your offer of hanging out more than 3 times, not into you unless there are good reasons.

"I love a man in uniform and that one fits you grand."

My behavior towards everyone is mildly flirtatious. I'm friendly, playful, witty, and expressive. It's not something I realized could be construed as flirtatious until I was well into my 20's, and it's not something I can or will change. I am bad at reading signals (not as bad as I used to be, though), so I developed a habit of being straightforward, but without pressuring or manipulating people (those last bits are very important).

My pickup queries were usually along the lines of:

"So, hey, not to make you feel weird or anything, but! I think you're totally cute and awesome. If you ever wanna maybe have some fun, you should let me know! But no pressure at all, you're rad either way."


Totally blows people away.

(P.S. I'm a lady and generally attracted to men)

There's an article at the Ask Men website that seems to describe things rather well.

1. She seems to be appearing frequently wherever you are, without needing to be there.

2. Body Language is obvious (She points in your direction with her leg, foot or shoulders; She leans toward you while talking; She plays with or tosses her hair; She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass; She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks; She mirrors your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same); and She smiles when you check her out).

3. She seems never too busy to pay attention to you.

4. She seems curious about you (i.e., your family, your background, and your tastes in things like food, music and movies).

5. She will ask about your job, your car, and where you live.

6. She seems open to future plans with you.

7. She seems "fidgety" around only you.

8. She seems upset whenever you talk to other women.

The more of these that occur, the more likely she may be interested in you.

I know this is a little off topic, but I'm just finding it hilarious and also really disconcerting to read about these signals. I probably send a lot of them out unintentionally.

A lot of this stuff that is described as flirting, is just what I do when I'm being friendly with someone, and not remotely trying to flirt. When I'm really attracted to a man, all that friendly stuff goes away and I get very serious and solemn. I start talking like a character in a 19th century novel. I would never cheapen a sincere interest by acting flirtatious.

Playfulness, laughter, even touching does not necessarily mean flirting, just friendship.

Preening is a good sign.

I sometimes wonder if it's actually flirting or it's just an attempt for you to strike up a conversation, if so then why not just start the conversation >.>

I'm not sure this is the right question. Some people just enjoy flirting with attractive members of the gender they are into. The thing you need to try to figure out, imho, is whether the person wants to get together..

What R83 said.
Two bit websites that try to sell you their quick fix books on how to attract women sound good, but the reality is its just a bunch of bull.

If an NT woman is interested in you, it will be obvious. That said, nothing will be obvious if you don't even understand basic human interaction between normal people, and the reason I say that was because I had a woman hitting on me for about a year before I realised it wasn't harassment....

I read somewhere that most women make their subconscious mind up about a potential mate in like.. 4 minutes? i can't recall the number exactly, nor where i read it. Its possible to learn the ways of reading other people's subconscious i suppose, probably why it seems some women expect you to be able to know what they are thinking...

so if you're wondering why you're not picking up on flirtatious behaviour, that's one reason, because its not a conscious behavior. the other, as i said, you wouldn't be able to figure it out even if she asked you out...

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