The hardest thing about being single

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Can you think of a better use for a shorted out motherboard?

No. I think it's perfect. Then again, I've been known to decorate with motherboards, too.

glad to be of service



i help out where i can. if i can break bread with the mateless WPers and help us all to distract our minds from our common predicaments, then when i meet my maker i can say i tried, and find agreement with the maker.

They make great wall art.

I was thinking about saying that too but I think I'll say dealing with life alone in general because I'm not able to get close enough with anyone to be my real self

For me ? all of the above.

I think the worst part about being single is knowing I'm going to be something different someday, but just waiting for the day when I have my life together is agonizing. Why does it have to take years, instead of an easier, more cop-outesque few weeks? >.<

For me it's the attitude of others. That too many people (my own mother included) seem to think that my wellbeing doesn't matter as long as everybody else is doing well and that I should just accept being single/lonely/miserable whilst everyone else I know chases/enjoys happiness.

for me, having to put up with societal pressure for me to be partnered when I don't want to.

For me, it's the sort of societal... pity? that I feel from other people, that there's no one in my life and there isn't likely to be at any time, ever. {I'm in my 40s, too, which makes it all the harder.}

Some of that could just be in my head, and some of it could be more general because I'm single mother of small kids with a full time job. In essence, my life does suck (in their eyes) because I don't have enough time to really pursue anything I want to. I'm just a working, parenting automaton.

I guess another thing is that the combination of being single and being so committed to my responsibilities means that I'm isolated from people, and it's getting worse. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable enough with people to date again. And I kind of want to, it's been *so long* since I've had any intimate touch.

I haven't experienced this pity, but that could be because I look younger than I am.

Oh, I've always experienced it, whenever I've been unpartnered in a partners-expected situation (weddings, parties where you're supposed to bring a date, etc.). It just gets more pronounced as I've aged.

Oh. Maybe I'm just oblivious to it.

I'm just psyched that with in the last few years its ground to a halt. It could just be that people see me as a guy who's too wrapped in goals and too busy, regardless I hope it stays this way.

mv: I wonder if it might change once your kids graduate highschool and are in a more autonomous stage of life.

I don't know! I wonder what the dynamics/variables are behind it all. It could be as simple as, "poor thing, raising kids in this town, it's probably way more than she can afford" (having nothing to do with my unpartnered status except tangentially, as a parent with limited means).

But, then again, I just went to a wedding, and everyone who was technically single still brought a date. I suppose, technically, I could have too, it would just be way too awkward for me to do that, to scare up a date for the sole purpose of accompaniment. I think that difference (between how those people think and how I think) is what's glaring. They're probably thinking, "Oh, couldn't get a date" and I'm thinking, "Good lord, I would never want to sit through something so life-affirming and serious as a wedding with someone I barely know sitting next to me, as my date."

My oldest child is in 2nd grade right now, so I have a few years before I find out. I'll be in my 50s then! Should be interesting, no matter what!

I don't understand all the rules for attending weddings. I'm fairly certain I broke every single one of them when I was my sister's Maid of Honor last July.

That includes going with no date. I didn't notice any pity aside from "Poor thing is going through a divorce". That was bad enough.