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MCalavera
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27 Jan 2012, 8:09 pm

Bun wrote:
So you claim BPD exists organically in people, irregardless of whether or not it gets diagnosed? That's fine, I acknowledge your perspective. But to me, the only condition for the existence of a disorder is to have a mental health professional try to piece together what they know or heard about a patient to fit them a diagnosis. People are advised against self-diagnosing because the consensus is to leave it to a medical authority when it comes to mental disorders.


So you're saying something like Asperger's only exists because the medical authority says so? Or am I misunderstanding you?



comawhite
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27 Jan 2012, 8:22 pm

Bun wrote:
So you claim BPD exists organically in people, irregardless of whether or not it gets diagnosed? That's fine, I acknowledge your perspective. But to me, the only condition for the existence of a disorder is to have a mental health professional try to piece together what they know or heard about a patient to fit them a diagnosis. People are advised against self-diagnosing because the consensus is to leave it to a medical authority when it comes to mental disorders.


I really don't understand how you are getting that there should be a debate as to whether the OP actually has your definition of BPD or not.



Bun
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27 Jan 2012, 8:31 pm

MCalavera wrote:
Bun wrote:
So you claim BPD exists organically in people, irregardless of whether or not it gets diagnosed? That's fine, I acknowledge your perspective. But to me, the only condition for the existence of a disorder is to have a mental health professional try to piece together what they know or heard about a patient to fit them a diagnosis. People are advised against self-diagnosing because the consensus is to leave it to a medical authority when it comes to mental disorders.


So you're saying something like Asperger's only exists because the medical authority says so? Or am I misunderstanding you?

Now, as for what I'm saying, I don't know the answers myself. I was just noting that when it comes to medicine, I tend to go with what's trending, especially as the DSM changes constantly.

The feelings someone with Asperger feels can exist independently of a diagnosis, in my opinion. But my logic says that the name Asperger, or whatever it might be named under the proposed changes to the diagnosis, exists so that professionals could sort out their clients, and sometimes even treat them.

In case of BPD and Schizophrenia, most professionals would admit they don't know what to do with those cases, so they're just trying to dose them off. That's why we should hope the diagnosis and suggested treatment changes in the future. Under the current situation, these conditions are untreatable, only the symptoms are (somewhat) kept under control.


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comawhite
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27 Jan 2012, 8:35 pm

Bun wrote:
comawhite wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
Are you getting constant psychiatric treatment for your BPD?

This relationship won't go too well without that treatment. Relationship-wise, I'd be more concerned about you rather than he.


I don't think you're in a position to judge whether or not someone else needs constant psychiatric treatment or not. Besides this thread is about what sorts of things to expect from a boyfriend with AS so why not stay on topic?


BPD is a disorder which is characterized primarily by, (DSM criteria) "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships."
So yes, ongoing therapy in a relationship with a person with BPD is relevant and necessary.

Like I said, not everyone with BPD is like that. Pretty much everyone who gets some kind of hospitalisation or day clinic for self-injuring will get a diagnosis, and BPD is the most common diagnosis in those cases. Nevermind that they can be a normal teen who has the same problem that are typical for their age group, a misdiagnosed Aspie (because a differential diagnosis will not be made in those cases), or something else.


Yes, actually, BPD is defined in the DSM as "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following criteria: .........."
(can't post link due to forum restrictions)

If someone is in the ER for self-injuring, they may get a BPD diagnosis because self-injuring is a maladaptive coping behavior, which DBT directly addresses.

I'm just taking a wild guess that you don't know a whole lot about BPD.



Last edited by comawhite on 01 Feb 2012, 11:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Bun
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27 Jan 2012, 8:53 pm

comawhite wrote:
Bun wrote:
comawhite wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
Are you getting constant psychiatric treatment for your BPD?

This relationship won't go too well without that treatment. Relationship-wise, I'd be more concerned about you rather than he.


I don't think you're in a position to judge whether or not someone else needs constant psychiatric treatment or not. Besides this thread is about what sorts of things to expect from a boyfriend with AS so why not stay on topic?


BPD is a disorder which is characterized primarily by, (DSM criteria) "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships."
So yes, ongoing therapy in a relationship with a person with BPD is relevant and necessary.

Like I said, not everyone with BPD is like that. Pretty much everyone who gets some kind of hospitalisation or day clinic for self-injuring will get a diagnosis, and BPD is the most common diagnosis in those cases. Nevermind that they can be a normal teen who has the same problem that are typical for their age group, a misdiagnosed Aspie (because a differential diagnosis will not be made in those cases), or something else.


Yes, actually, BPD is defined in the DSM as "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following criteria: .........."

The fact I was able to stifle those symptoms after getting UNWANTED attention from medical staff speaks loudly against how BPD is being viewed as such a complex disorder by the medical community. I don't have instability in interpersonal relationships because I always give others the benefit of doubt and avoid 'unnecessary' communication, let alone confrontation. But that's life to ya. My self-image is stable, though, I remember what I said in my diagnosis, and I pretty much hold the same firm beliefs today.


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Sweetleaf
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27 Jan 2012, 9:12 pm

Bun wrote:
So you claim BPD exists organically in people, irregardless of whether or not it gets diagnosed? That's fine, I acknowledge your perspective. But to me, the only condition for the existence of a disorder is to have a mental health professional try to piece together what they know or heard about a patient to fit them a diagnosis. People are advised against self-diagnosing because the consensus is to leave it to a medical authority when it comes to mental disorders.


and what are people who cannot afford such an assessment supposed to do, just pretend they aren't experiencing the symptoms and hope it goes away?


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Bun
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27 Jan 2012, 9:18 pm

If someone needs treatment and isn't able to get it, I certainly can't suggest one for them. :? But my suspicion is that if you go to a clinic and say you have BPD, they'll tell you you're fine. If you say 'I'm alright, I'm just having some personal problems' (more or less what I said), they'd decree between themselves that you lack insight, and go for worst case scenarios. Which is why self diagnosis really doesn't work - again, in my opinion.


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Sweetleaf
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27 Jan 2012, 9:23 pm

Bun wrote:
If someone needs treatment and isn't able to get it, I certainly can't suggest one for them. :? But my suspicion is that if you go to a clinic and say you have BPD, they'll tell you you're fine. If you say 'I'm alright, I'm just having some personal problems' (more or less what I said), they'd decree between themselves that you lack insight, and go for worst case scenarios. Which is why self diagnosis really doesn't work - again, in my opinion.



Well yeah it's not a good idea to walk into a clinic and announce you have BPD or any other disorder, you could however bring in some information about a disorder and explain you are struggling with various symptoms and your suspecting a specific disorder. I mean usually someone does not go in for treatment of a psychological disorder unless they are having symptoms. Self-diagnoses does not work if you want to qualify for things like SSI but it works well enough to explain symptoms.


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comawhite
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27 Jan 2012, 9:23 pm

Bun wrote:
comawhite wrote:
Bun wrote:
comawhite wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
Are you getting constant psychiatric treatment for your BPD?

This relationship won't go too well without that treatment. Relationship-wise, I'd be more concerned about you rather than he.


I don't think you're in a position to judge whether or not someone else needs constant psychiatric treatment or not. Besides this thread is about what sorts of things to expect from a boyfriend with AS so why not stay on topic?


BPD is a disorder which is characterized primarily by, (DSM criteria) "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships."
So yes, ongoing therapy in a relationship with a person with BPD is relevant and necessary.

Like I said, not everyone with BPD is like that. Pretty much everyone who gets some kind of hospitalisation or day clinic for self-injuring will get a diagnosis, and BPD is the most common diagnosis in those cases. Nevermind that they can be a normal teen who has the same problem that are typical for their age group, a misdiagnosed Aspie (because a differential diagnosis will not be made in those cases), or something else.


Yes, actually, BPD is defined in the DSM as "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following criteria: .........."

The fact I was able to stifle those symptoms after getting UNWANTED attention from medical staff speaks loudly against how BPD is being viewed as such a complex disorder by the medical community. I don't have instability in interpersonal relationships because I always give others the benefit of doubt and avoid 'unnecessary' communication, let alone confrontation. But that's life to ya. My self-image is stable, though, I remember what I said in my diagnosis, and I pretty much hold the same firm beliefs today.


Oh, you have BPD. That does explain why you are mistaking this discussion to pertain to you personally and reacting emotionally as such.



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27 Jan 2012, 9:25 pm

I appreciate the observation (not being sarcastic - I like honesty, I really prefer it).


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Sweetleaf
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27 Jan 2012, 9:26 pm

comawhite wrote:
Bun wrote:
comawhite wrote:
Bun wrote:
comawhite wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
Are you getting constant psychiatric treatment for your BPD?

This relationship won't go too well without that treatment. Relationship-wise, I'd be more concerned about you rather than he.


I don't think you're in a position to judge whether or not someone else needs constant psychiatric treatment or not. Besides this thread is about what sorts of things to expect from a boyfriend with AS so why not stay on topic?


BPD is a disorder which is characterized primarily by, (DSM criteria) "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships."
So yes, ongoing therapy in a relationship with a person with BPD is relevant and necessary.

Like I said, not everyone with BPD is like that. Pretty much everyone who gets some kind of hospitalisation or day clinic for self-injuring will get a diagnosis, and BPD is the most common diagnosis in those cases. Nevermind that they can be a normal teen who has the same problem that are typical for their age group, a misdiagnosed Aspie (because a differential diagnosis will not be made in those cases), or something else.


Yes, actually, BPD is defined in the DSM as "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following criteria: .........."

The fact I was able to stifle those symptoms after getting UNWANTED attention from medical staff speaks loudly against how BPD is being viewed as such a complex disorder by the medical community. I don't have instability in interpersonal relationships because I always give others the benefit of doubt and avoid 'unnecessary' communication, let alone confrontation. But that's life to ya. My self-image is stable, though, I remember what I said in my diagnosis, and I pretty much hold the same firm beliefs today.


Oh, you have BPD. That does explain why you are mistaking this discussion to pertain to you personally and reacting emotionally as such.


Just throwing it out there, I do that to.......so maybe I have BPD :twisted:


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27 Jan 2012, 9:35 pm

dextrella wrote:
I have BPD and Major Depressive Disorder and my best friend/ boyfriend has Aspergers. I love him and asked him to be my boyfriend and he accepted very gladly. In his own way he has shown that he cares for me as well. I was wanting to know what to expect. I knew a fair deal about Aspergers before I met him because I like to be informed about interesting thing. So it made getting to know him a lot easier. I know no one is typical to any condition but... yeah.
What can I expect?
Emotionally?
Physically?

(He is not as sensitive to touch as I expected.)

each aspie is kind of different so it is difficult to tell you ahead of time what to expect. my best advice to you is to read some of the threads around the forum to get an idea of the range of the behaviour and emotions of aspie men. think of it like this; a person couldn't predict too much about you based on just your diagnosis (though people may think they can), and the same applies to your aspie.

about the dynamics between the two of you, i'd say that you might want to be aware that when you have a difficult time about something, he may try to help solve the problem for you as opposed to just saying those comforting words people come to expect from partners. but not every aspie is like this either.

i think both aspies and people with BPD can benefit from therapy (even the same programs like CBT and DBT) as it can help them with coping skills and gaining perspective and so on. *some* of the same interpersonal issues and can manifest similarly in both disorders, which is even more markedly noticeable when looking at the criteria listed in the International Classification of Disease as opposed to the DSM. people with the 2 disorders may or may not seem similar, but there are certain behaviours and types of disordered thinking that apply similarly to both categories.


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Northeastern292
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27 Jan 2012, 10:14 pm

Aspies come in all flavors. For instance, I'm the type that likes affection and likes to be affectionate.



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27 Jan 2012, 10:22 pm

Northeastern292 wrote:
Aspies come in all flavors. For instance, I'm the type that likes affection and likes to be affectionate.


I'm grapefruit flavour. I'll literally try to stop the wind from blowing in a hurricane before looking to repair the house that was damaged by it



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27 Jan 2012, 10:29 pm

bucephalus wrote:
Northeastern292 wrote:
Aspies come in all flavors. For instance, I'm the type that likes affection and likes to be affectionate.


I'm the best flavour ever, like candy floss maybe. I'll literally try to stop the wind from blowing in a hurricane before looking to repair the house that was damaged by it. and by this i mean that i am a very supportive person who cares dearly for the people around me, including my girlfriend

fixed it for you


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27 Jan 2012, 10:30 pm

Aww. :D


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