chaotik_lord wrote:
I don't think changing sex is (or should be) about attracting the mate that you want. I'm a gay FTM; that means I severely narrowed my dating field by changing sex. Trying to date men in a phallocentric community when you have no phallus is far trickier than trying to attract men as a woman. You'd be surprised at how many transgendered individuals of both sexes identify as homosexual post-change (where they would have been heterosexuals before). Gender identity and orientation are increasingly disparate in terms of association. It's a perception of self, and in many cases (as in mine) it's a physical need. These are not my parts. I need to be in the proper body more than I need a mate. It produces large amounts of shame and tribulation, but it remains the only viable option. This is the case for transgendered individuals of any orientation.
The above is, probably, the most comprehensive post in this thread. To be honest, I don't understand the initial point of the thread. I think OP needs to read/think a bit more into the difference between gender and sexual orientation.
As for
Rob-N4RPS, I, for one, would very much appreciate it if you reconsidered your personal attitude to transgender people. Furthermore:
1.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it must be a duck, right? This applies to transgender people, as well. Not just ducks. If, without closely inspecting the genitalia, you can't tell that the person's biological sex differs from their current sex, their current sex SHOULD, in fact, be their sex. Furthermore, SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgeries) are far more advanced now than they were 50 years ago. Although, to me, it seems that FtMs have a bit of a way to go in terms of getting real-looking lower parts, MtFs' lower parts are often indistinguishable from cis-womens' parts. Unless one is a gynecologist, that is.
2.
Cosmetic surgery is not necessarily equivalent to mutilation. In fact, that's a very strong word. One with very negative connotations, mind you. Hence, you ARE, in fact, passing judgement on transfolk. If you'd truly like to avoid doing so, please use the language that we consider polite.
3. It would be neither easier nor more sensible to make a trans-person's gender coincide with the sex they were born as. Depression and suicidal tendencies are quite common among transfolk who are forced to live as their original gender.
4. I appreciate your concern about violence directed to transfolk by potential partners, but I'm fairly certain that most transfolk would agree that it is better to brave the chance of violence than to live a perpetually depressed and unfulfilled life.
5. Regarding access to children, if I had, at the age of 13, been aware of everything that I am currently aware of, I'm certain that I'd be IMMEASURABLY happier now. If that was possible, I'd have avoided a great many VERY physically and emotionally painful experiences. Hence, to me, it is important that the youth be able to read this and, hopefully, learn from our mistakes.
30 Jan 2012, 4:11 am
