Women are not mind readers!

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no, Tim_Tex, you don't need to pretend to be someone else, but what really could help is counselling so that you stop obsessing over that failed relationship. it does not benefit you to fixate on that, and i believe it is impeding you from being successful with anyone new.

Sometimes I wish they were but only for the power of good and not evil like knowing and exploiting all of the mans weaknesses. A lot of them are already good at being manipulative and controlling as it is. Not all, mind you just the bad ones that make the rest of the women look bad. There are good and bad in both men and women I wish all were good then everyone would be happy lol. If i was with a woman who could read my mind she could understand my feelings and it would be perfect.

The assumption could be due to women tending to be more sensitive than men(they pick up on others emotions more & they react more emotionally) & men tending to be more logical & direct than women. I forget which standup comedian joked that women understand men alot more than men understand women because you never see a woman running after a man asking what she did wrong

I expected those kinds of mind games from an NT, but never from another Aspie, and especially not one who also claimed to be a Christian.

And who would want to date me? I'm a Christian, Republican, I watch shows like the Simpsons and South Park (and would probably be watching porn if those shows ever went off the air), I watch indie/foreign films (one of the very few non-hipsters on the planet who likes those), I'm an Aspie, I like to travel, I need sex all the time, I want to start a family, I support abortion, same-sex marriage, and medical marijuana, and feel the need to be a rebel.

maybe stop thinking in terms of criteria and focus on the connection you can make with other people. people are not checklists. look for women who seem interesting to you and work it from there. if you decide ahead of time that it won't work for _X_ reason, then you are shutting the door on pretty much every opportunity. many many things can change about a person and there are very few things that need to be identical at the outset. couples start to have similar ideologies, ethics, morals and interests as they grow together over the years.

and you need to let go of the past. i suspect you want that same girl back and that's the real reason you are not finding anyone else acceptable - on a subconscious level you're creating roadblocks because you don't really want anyone else to measure up.

p.s. you DON'T need sex all the time. you may have a high sex drive, but you can definitely compromise on that. you haven't had continual sex throughout your adult life, so you've already proven it's not a requirement.

That wasn't my checklist, I was just describing myself.

However, many of those things contradict each other (i.e. Christians who watch the Simpsons and South Park, Republicans who support same-sex marriage, Aspies who like to travel). And people assume because of my political and religious beliefs, I am intolerant, racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic (although I do admit to being slightly that way), and anti-Semitic.

I have no problem with dating people who vote Democratic or any other party, and fear of being disowned by my family is the only reason I avoid dating non-Christians.

What!?!?! Aspie's aren't suppose to like to travel!! ! I guess I've got that all wrong.

I guess NT woman can generally pick up more emontions than men, but I am honestly clueless. I am constantly asking people to reassure myself. They honestly must think I'm mad.

I was referring to the fact that there are many Aspies who don't travel because of the routine disruptions that would be involved.

My swearing off NTs was because I was in a relationship with one a long time ago, and she cheated on me. I thought that an Aspie would never do anything like that to me, yet it was allowed to happen.

I DO want the same girl back, but she judged my entire personality on ONE instance where I asked for advice. If I never asked for advice again, she would still defend her assessment of me based on that one instance.

And I would like to make a confession. I don't support abortion (even in cases of rape or incest), same-sex marriage, or medical marijuana. If that makes me a bigot, then I make every effort to be the most compassionate, friendly, fun-loving bigot I can be.

Im glad that women cannot read my mind, think of all the weird situations that would happen if that was the case

" so you think that i have a nice butt ? :O you pervert! "

im seeing that right now with a friend of mine, shes chaseing her Ex-boyfriend because she doesn't understand why he broke up with her. Mainly because she asumes that someone whom she had "so much in common with wouldn't care that much about religion" and can't believe that the real reason he broke up with her is because she insulted his family's faith.

Sounds like she knows what she did wrong though.

So you don't want the same girl back? because if she was willing to judge you on one instance like you said she did. Wouldn't "the same girl" do just that again, after all people can't be their 100% all the time. So just like anyone else in the world your bound to ask for advice again.

I met great girl too a long time ago, and while the reasons it ended was more because of my own ignorance and shyness than any faults on her. I don't expect some sort of carbon copy of her. No instead I expect to find someone completely new with plenty of new quirks to learn about and love her for.

Maybe you should look for someone completely new to you aswell. After all looking for the same thing your likely to get the same results.....but its just something to think about.

Last edited by Zinnel on 28 Feb 2012, 1:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Its intuition. Some people have it more than others, and that goes for women too. That kind of advice that tells you you need to overthink or over-analyze yourself in one more area is bad. I mean, it can be good to self reflect at times, but it can also be overdone. I have a natural tendency to overdo it already, and it sort of just locks me up and makes me look more awkward and disconnected. I think its good to be yourself and be unapologetic about it. I don't even really tell anyone about my social anxiety or socially disconnected tendencies either, because I find it makes them uncomfortable. I don't want anyone to think I'm a mental cripple or anything either.

Maybe finding a relationship is more of a challenge for me, but in the end, if I achieve it, it'll mean more to me in the end than it does to someone it comes more easy to. When I'm sitting in Valhalla, reviewing the details of my life with others,, it'll be extra bragging rights on my part.

The highlighted is true especially in that I had plenty of times in my early 20's where I'd get scornful looks for just being somewhere, I'd ignore them like they were important and irrelevant and just by doing that it flipped the dynamic. Even though its true that a lot of times people aren't out to test you and they may not even fully realize what they're doing, being non-verbally assertive rarely ever goes wrong unless perhaps your in a rather esoteric kind of situation such as dealing with certain kinds of authority and even then it just takes a different way of displaying it.

I knew she was acting the way she was, but because there were no other people who had the same interests as me who were also Christians, I purposely looked the other way.

I've mentioned this before on here, but "Do you like the Simpsons and South Park?" really means "Do you want to come to my place and fornicate?