Most crushing experiences

Post Reply New Topic

Mine... it was this girl who liked me, and I just didn't notice until my friends told me about it (they were not joking, the signals were there, I just couldn't read them at that time). So I started talking to her, clicked pretty well, but took too long in asking her out and she finally said no. Pretty bad, but not specially awful. But then, I decided to not let it go and try harder, dat "romantic" former me, and I ended up being too intense and weirding her out. Then two guys in my class made a bet on who could kiss her in the shortest amount of time and make her their girlfriend, one kissed her first but the other finally got her... and coming into terms about how hopeless I was in that aspect of my life was truly devastating... it changed me for the better though, and eight months later I made her my girlfriend.

There is a final ending with the guy. He ended up inviting me out to see a movie. So I went with him one on one but that was only because he has no one else to go with. To be honest, when I sat with him, I had a miserable time. There was something about being there that wasn't right and I knew in my heart that he wasn't the right one.

This is right before the deal was sealed that he really didn't like me and that I found out that they were talking behind my back as I caught him red handed several times. This was after highschool.

Someone told me that Charlene became the single mother of a child afflicted with Trisomy 21, and she now works part-time as a grocery cashier. She also drinks and smokes heavily, and has never married.

I don't know if any of this is true, or if the person was just trying to make me feel good. I have no intention of checking it out.

Yep, it definately all worked out for the best I think. It's funny, the people who go and act like that are the ones who become loosers and especially the crush types too.

I actually had a time when I had my first serious crush. But I couldn't work myself up to talk nor did I have any idea how to talk to her. So I said nothing, and since she was a bad student she eventually didn't come anymore. Although before that happened I had a week where I simply just sat there and stared and looked like a zombie. Heart broken is probably the word, I became heart broken myself without ever talking to the girl, lol...

Probably quite silly, but it was a bit of a crushing moment.

I've got a pretty hilarious one.

About a week before last thanksgiving I went to my favorite bar, got blind raving drunk, and met a terribly pretty girl who also happened to be blind raving drunk. She said I was pathetic for sitting down at an un-bussed table (it was my favorite corner booth and I wasn't going to let a few dirty dishes keep me out of it), then called me a "f*****g loser" for being a virgin who lived at home and claimed she was going to "fix" me. I didn't really mind since I can handle a bit of abuse, not to mention she was otherwise very blatantly flirting with me; we also had a lot of common problems (various mental disorders, dark childhoods, gender identity issues, substance abuse, all the fun stuff). We staggered around all night with her roommate and got pizza before sobering up in her apartment; I remember a lot of physical violence from her end, I got hit with an umbrella and a curtain rod more than once. I think she sat on my ribs at one point, too, memory's a bit fuzzy. Anyway.

Gave her my number, we connected on facebook and talked a lot, and I went to see her doing stand-up at the same bar we met in twice. She continued the flirty s**t (despite the fact that I ruined one of her shows by getting her absolutely baked before she had to go on) and was always asking what I was doing that weekend, or that night, or whenever. I assumed she was romantically interested, so I asked her out on a date. Turns out that wasn't a very good idea.

She said yes, but around the time I was going to coordinate transportation with her via IM, she just kinda vanished. I think she logged in once, for about 4 seconds, then immediately left when she saw me looking for her. I assumed something had come up and messaged her that I was just going out by myself and hoped it wasn't too serious. I had pretty obviously been stood up, but I wasn't going to get angry about it unless I had concrete evidence.

That morning, I got some: as*hole'd been up all night palling around on facebook with someone from Texas, and hadn't sent me a single excuse in that time, something that would have taken about 30 seconds. I saw this as a pretty obvious middle finger, said she could have at least told me to go jump off a bridge instead of implying it, then de-friended her. She piped in 8 hours later with some half-assed "helping a friend through a hard time" excuse. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I liked the hell out of her, but she didn't say anything else to me all week.

About the time I'd given up on her, she messaged me back going "you hate me now? s**t." I called her out on blowing me off, and she swore up and down that she'd do it to my face if it came to that... but she never actually apologized, and didn't send another friend request. Instead, she turned the whole situation back on me and staged an impromptu IM therapy session (she was a psychology student I think) to find out why I was "so paranoid." This eventually led to me telling her I was an aspie, which I think is what sealed the crypt in this particular friendship; in my experience, NTs seem to mentally store us in the same box they'd put stalkers or lepers in and will very hastily distance themselves from you if you tell them. Actually, I'd known her for about a month and a half, which is the fastest I've ever managed to make a friend and then drive them away.

Anyway, at this point I started to check in with her every 10 days or so. At first, I asked her if she was gonna be at the bar at our usual time, but she claimed she was out of town. After that I'd just say "hi" or "where the hell have you been" or something; every time I did this, she'd give an answer that conveniently left her unavailable for an indefinite period of time, despite the fact that I wasn't asking if she wanted to get together. I think my favorite one was "I ate a dollar bill on a bet and now I have a really high fever." This went on for about two months, and at the end of February I finally said "ok this is really stupid" and just asked her straight up if she ever wanted to see me again. "No thanks."

I'd more or less given up on any sort of relationship with her back in January, but she could have had the god damn courtesy to actually tell me to get f****d instead of completely lying about it; that only dragged this out for two and a half months longer than it needed to be and got her a bunch of oblivious internet harassment.

I probably should have gotten the hint when she blew me off for facebook, though, that's a pretty epic dick move. And anyway, based on her statements about "fixing" me when we first met, this couldn't have ended up as anything but a completely poisonous relationship.

Although they were not intimate relationships, I had at one point associated with two female women who were known to blow me off with excuses like that. One of them that you described had a personality very similar to the one above. She would make commitments all the time and then not carry through. If you tried to call her out, she would blame the victim. In your particular case, it sounds like she was blaming the victim.

As for the other person, she made several commitments to me and would stand me up and not call. She would say things like, "Well I left my phone at home," or "There was bad reception there," or "I am not feeling good and I am sorry that I didn't call earlier."

Again, I wasn't dating either of them but I cannot stand people like that.

I don't think I've had a single experience that sticks out in this context...I think the worst thing I have had to deal with at this point is having someone I love constantly angry with me and giving me the silent treatment, monthsyears of never knowing what little thing was going to set things off...it was like living in a minefield. I think the whole of that experience, in the end, is the most crushing thing I've experienced.

I think another really crushing experience was when I was still living up north and I was having flings another guy and even developing strong feeling for them. It was odd. One week, he appeared to be all over me, while another he appeared to show a lack of interest.

However, I had a very strong interest and obsession over the second Lord of the Rings movie when it was in theaters and was in the process of reading the first book and buying the first movie. He on the other hand, made it clear to me that he hated anything to do with the movies or the books even though he had not appeared to even crack the books open or see the films. He also tried to gear me away from watching them because it wasn't cool enough.

So anyway, one morning, I went to go meet him after having a great afternoon with him a week before. He was in a sour mood about failing a test and was not super happy to see me either. He had also made it clear to me that I had problems for watching the second Lord of the Rings movie for the 5th time on the big screen over the weekend. This was after I admitted it. I responded with a, "Of course I have problems, I have autism and so do you and that involves being obsessed with things that interest us." I remember feeling embarrassed and bad that I went to it and not the second X-men movie like him. So I went to go get some food in the cafeteria and came back and found that he was gone and disappeared the rest of the day. I was really disappointed too. In fact, I saw him two days later and he appeared to do what he could to avoid me and before I knew it, his parents were picking him up. That was the last time I saw him in person. I then moved down to my aunt's house in another side of the country a few weeks later which was at the last minute.

I had tried to write him several times after I had moved down but he did he answer me until two and a half years later which was by phone. By talking to him on the phone, I realized that I was out maturing him greatly and that he wasn't right for me. I also felt like I was talking to a 12 year old too.

Is there another kind?

I've had lots of very pathetic stories over the years when it comes to intimacy.

When I was in high school, I was kind of staring at this pretty girl when I saw her during my lunch period. Around the same time, I was starting to talk to other kids I seen at school after being approached, and was sorta trying to make friends. And one of them happened to be her older brother, and he and some others found out that I was looking at her. I think he encouraged me to talk to her for some reason. I was reluctant to do so, but I really awkwardly walked by her and said hi, and she said hi back, but that was it. After that, her brother sorta poked fun at my attraction to her, and some others he knew were watching us talk, and wondered if there was going to be an altercation between us. But I wasn't really mad at him basically. And later on we sorta were amicable with each other for the brief time I had "friends", cause he's a funny guy, but that's another story.

Then there was this one girl around my age who I had my hugest crush on. It occurred during the summer when I was 19. And I only saw her in a chat room. She was really hot, successful, and well-regarded by others, and I liked everything about her. I eventually fell in love with her. Obviously, I had no chance with her, so I then just fantasized of her a lot. I would imagine that I was spending time with her and perfectly having fun together. I basically only made a couple of half-assed awkward attempts to talk to her that I shouldn't have bothered to do. I then became really sad and love sick for like a whole week, so intense that I even lost my appetite. I spent it thinking deeply of how weak and unworthy I was of someone so amazing as her. Then as the summer ended, I stopped thinking of her eventually.

You're pretending not to gloat, aren't you?

Summer Twilight - I remember this boy at school I had a big crush on used to be horrible to me too. He did it cos he fancied me. He'd keep calling me fat and nonsense, yet I would sometimes catch him staring at me and blushing when I noticed. Some school boys are horrible like that. I wonder if this guy actually had feelings for you but was trying to cover himself.

Fnord, I'm really sorry to hear that. That must have been soul destroying. I find it so hard to understand how someone can be so vicious.

That is so funny. The guy in Jr High and high school would pretend act like my friend just to make me happy because just couldn't allow me to face the truth. In his mind, I was obsessed with him. There was this one time where he came to visit me when I was sick in the nurses office and everything after he and his girlfriend split up the first time. This was right before I found out the truth.

I knew it in the back of my mind that he didn't care for me but I kept denying it until I confronted one of my other friends who was always invited to the same things that the guy and his girlfriend on group outings. I asked, "Why didn't anyone include me in that outing? I really would have liked seeing that movie." That is when my friend and her close friend were very honest with me in mentioning that this guy and his girlfriend said made it clear several times that they didn't like me that much and didn't want me around when they made plans. I went to pieces when I learned that. My mom and my mentor both thought that was pretty bratty on their part to act like that. In addition, the mentor even told me it was devastating five years later as she remembered it and could still hear how hurt I was.

I actually got a chance to hear him badmouth me two years after that and he didn't dislike me, he hated me. Most of his comments were, "Yeah we hate her. She's crazy and she broke us up after prom because she was obsessed with me."


Ask me about the prom situation sometime if I post on social skills and making friends..

My crushing experience was in a psychiatric hospital. I had a bad breakdown in my late teens owing to the effects of autism and gender dysphoria and was in a mixed male/female group therapy unit for a year. After I'd been there about 5 months a girl, Jenny, was admitted who thought I was sex on legs (well, she was having head problems too). Anyway we ended up having a brief affair, which disposed of my virginity. Problem was I found sex quite stressful and was very tense all the time, so she soon dumped me - after about three weeks. When it came up in the regular morning group, she told everyone (about two dozen people) that she had dumped me because I was no good in bed.

Needless to say my mental state took a sharp turn for the worse and I became much more emotionally dissociated before I started to improve.

Funnily enough the woman I eventually married, Pamela, had been a patient before Jenny had arrived. Pamela and I had a brief romance but not an affair while we were both there and when chance events brought us together later on, the romance resumed, soon became an affair and led to our marriage.

Pam and I are now divorced as a result of my sex change but I can still hardly believe my luck that I got married at all.