My problems with girls..

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no..... the tendency is to choose more "masculine" men. masculine men are not automatically as*holes/jerks.

also... a large number of young women are also on the pill, which stops ovulation.

and... women don't just choose boyfriends when they are ovulating.

Unfourtionally your right hyperlexian, most women don't really care about "nice" and "personable" traits especially from people who do it out of themselves and not what society expects them to do.

Now OP let me just say that while I have gotten a girl by being a complete as*hole it wasn't worth it. It wasn't like she wasn't a good catch, smart, funny, goodlooking, very much a girl-next-door feel. Its just gets old after awhile putting on the act and once I slowly started just being myself she lost interests in me.

So its just better to be yourself, nice or not......and if you really are a nice person I suggest you do what hyperlexian said, find your strengths and build on them, that way women who desire those strengths will be able to notice them.

what i was saying was that the opposite doesn't really work either (i.e. being an as*hole). otherwise there wouldn't be so many single as*holes.

what can work is being MORE than nice and personable.

Well no and yes. When I tried my social experiment in high school I found that girls found me more confident and masculine(this is based on the compliments other girls gave me), by simply removing the word like "thanks", "could", and "welcome" from my vocabulary and using words like "babe" and "b***h". I also cursed alot more!! and belittled other people(female/male) in the school.
And to my surprise girls started flirting with me more and making sexual advances torwards me.

this was not the case when I was my normal self (which most girl have said I'm a "sweet nice guy")
What I concluded is that its easier for a man to come acrossed as a confident and masculine guy by being an as*hole.
And for a genuine nice guy its harder to come acrossed as having these traits and in turn have to work harder to make these traits noticeable.

Note: I did feel horrible for doing what I did, but I wanted to see for myself if there was any truth to the "nice vs. jerk" debate.

so... it was your level of confidence that actually changed, but you decided to demonstrate your confidence by acting like an as*hole. people can be confident and nice, as it is not necessary to be an as*hole to be confident. in fact i would advise a person to continue being nice while gaining confidence. then you get all the benefits without being a jerk.

I act like my normal, true self (Totally socially awkward and clumsy), and I have had more guys like me for the real me than the one I pretended to be. I would come home from school and just sleep because my body would be so worn out from putting on an affectation every single day. I don't know. I really like guys that are also Aspie and are awkward and clumsy like myself. My best-friend (who happens to be my ex ) is the best guy I've ever known and loved. I'm pretty much 99.9% sure he's Aspie as well. You just have to find the right person. Someone who compliments your strengths and faults. Not every girl is superficial or is into "bad guys" or whatever crap people assume.

Best of luck!

My level of confidence had stayed the same
(my confidence level is pretty high )

Its was how I was expressing myself that changed. Normaly I'm a guy who take others people lives into consideration and going out of my way to shows appreciation for actions or gifts. Ceasing these actions or just making them of little priority made me appear more confident in myself(when really it was just more evident)

And words like "babe" and "b***h" while objectifying to women are dominating words, and domination is considered a very masculine action and thus expressing masculinity easier.

But I do agree being a confident nice person(female or male) is alot better.

as above, you said that you came across more confident. if you came across like you lacked confidence before, then whatever confidence you felt on the inside would not really matter in interacting with females.

dominance is not the same thing as being an as*hole, either. a person can be dominant and still nice and pleasant.

one last point.... it's worth considering that if some isolated females are actually attracted specifically to as*holes, then it says an awful lot about their character. why would a man want to date a woman who seeks out abusive jerks?

Again my confidence didn't change, and my mannerism around women themselves did not change ether. Only my words. In bold however you are correct, typically women who are drawn to abusive as*holes have a cocktail of dependency issues and low self-esteem. Theres also the silly ideology of "I can fix him" which occurs in alot of these women. Its best to avoid women like this, yet strangly enough these women are often are the "super friendly" type, which most guys who fall under the "nice guy" label are attracted too and thus see their competition as the "jerk".

but you said that women found you more confident. that is the point - whether or not you changed on the inside, according to your own post you came across more confident to the women.

you asaid you acted like a "complete as*hole" and "putting on an act" to get a girl, which seems like it would entail more than just replacing some words.

Just thought I'd post this link here, saw it on yahoo news a few days ago lol. Maybe it can clear a few things up!

http://voices.yahoo.com/new-study-shows ... 28937.html

i remember that study. Stargazer43, the article you linked draws conclusions that are not present in the research. this is a summary of the actual findings:

so men who *don't* look happy are most attractive in photos, but that doesn't indicate certain behaviours behaviours. interestingly, it doesn't necessarily translate into a prediction of which men are most dateable or marriageable to those women - it was based on physical attraction only.

OT: i wonder why women like men who look ashamed? and why men don't want women to look confident? eep.

Not as much as you would think. By changing the words I used I changed tone of the conversions I had

example: normal me "hey (insert girls name) could you come over here for a second when you get a chance!!"
as*hole me "babe come here now!!"
Even reading this now I still have a hard time believeing that women found the as*hole more appealing than my normal self, but strangly they did.

From my experience, being an as*hole as a guy is usually a sign of great insecurity. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a calm, straight forward guy that tries to be nice and have good manners, and it did not get me anywhere with women, but the point is, neither does being a jerk. Would you really want to be with a person that is into as*holes? Chances are she is a big one herself, just in a different way.
There is women that always fall for the same type of guy, where she ends up in an abusive relationship filled with jealousy, hate and crying. Sadly, there are by far too many of those, yet I am almost certain it is not the or a majority of women.

when i think back about all of the relationships ive witnessed, a lot of girls have dated as*holes. i think it has to do with confidence, honestly. lets face it, most as*holes are confident. right? its like the definition of an as*hole, someone who is extremely confident and doesnt give a **** about anyone else, what they think, or what they are saying. i think, in terms of confidence, the average as*hole will always have more confidence than the average nice guy.

this being said, theres definitely more attributes that go into what people are looking for, however, like attraction, and how people generally date people around their IQ, etc. i mean, deep down, were all just cavemen and cavewomen, really. escaping the human condition of finding people attractive or not really isnt possible, especially not in this day and age.

It's not so much the confidence itself that helps them, it's the persistence. The persistence to ask girl after girl out without taking rejection personal or letting it effect them to a degree.

When a very confident person gets rejected, they simply say to themselves it's their loss, I know there's someone else for me because I value myself. They have the ability to move on and continue to have a positive and healthy approach to dating.

When a less confident person gets rejected, they internalize that rejection and take it to heart, allowing it to affect them for some time before being able to recover and approach someone else. Even when they do make an approach on someone else, they have internalized that negativity so their approach isn't as effective or as persistent as it could be.