Rejected by my best friend

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Oh I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.

I understand completely, having been through the same experience myself more than once. The long term obsession is an Aspergers thing. What you've probably done is allow him to become your "special interest". And as others have said, you have created an imaginary persona of him in your head.

A few straight facts from someone who's been there and gotten out of it (once it took 7 years, once 4 years).

This love/special connection between you and him is not real. It only exists in your head.

He does not love you romantically, and he never will. This is not something you can change by just trying harder, or putting on a mask, or waiting long enough.

That being said - it doesn't matter how long you wait, he is never going to ask you out or tell you he loves you and wants to be with you.

You are letting your life slip away from you living in a miserable fantasy (hey, if you're going to live in a fantasy, it should at least be one that makes you happy right?)

--> WHAT TO DO

The other posters have given good advice. As they said, you need to cut contact for a while and meet some new people/take up some new hobbies. I would also advise sitting down and straight talking to yourself. Consider it an exercise in mental discipline. Be firm with yourself and every time you start thinking of him remind yourself that he doesn't love you and that you're deluding yourself. Basically, you need to force yourself out of the negative obsession, and logic/rational thought can work wonders with this sort of thing.

I see what you're trying to say, but it really isn't that simple.

A special connection obviously exists if he called her his "soulmate". At least, if I interpreted that somewhat ambiguous sentence correctly (did he say "I don't love you *that* way, but you're still my soulmate and my oxygen," or did he only say "I don't love you that way", and the rest is HER filling in?)

But regardless of that little bit of confusing language, they are obviously good friends. And, he likes seeing her almost as much as she likes to see him. He may be obsessed too, in a different way.

In my experience, these situations result not from one partner being deluded about how well they get along. Instead, the core issue is that the two people having different boundaries between friendship and flirting or romance. The two might share activities that one considers romantic and/or flirting and the other considers just friendly.

Everyone has certain things they share with long-term boy/girlfriends but not short-term boy/girlfriends, and certain things they share with boy/girlfriends and not with friends. These differ from person to person, and especially seem to differ more between typical men and typical women, than among men or among women. This leads to relationships that are close from both sides, but that only one side has a romantic "stake" in.

I'm pretty certain the "soulmate" stuff came from her and she misworded the sentence, because him calling her his "soulmate" makes absolutely zero sense when he has been firm and clear about not being interested in her romantically.

I get what you're saying here, one of the guys I liked was my best friend and we did share a very close bond (in fact he had told me he loved me, meaning in a platonic sense). But this connection she has created, as she described in the OP, is not real. As I said, this "love/special/soulmate connection" is in her head and actually hides the real connection they genuinely do share from her. I am not denying the real connection I am sure they do have, I am referring to that "extra mile" that special connection she will have created and pinned her hopes upon. This is what forms and constitutes a love obsession.

Stop worrying Do not try to rationalize your feelings. And for the love of Gawd please stop blaming yourself. If you get rejected by somebody, it's because of THEM. NOT you! You just can't control other people and the only way to cope with this is to accept it. Please, take my advice, and cease contact with him. You need to break off this friendship for now until you find someone who wants to be with you. If you don't, your feelings of anguish will only get worse.