Never had a real girlfriend.

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Okay, back to the last query.

How do I cognitively defeat the aspie obsession I have with the idea of getting a girlfriend no matter the cost?

I can't afford to be overwhelmed by that right now. It sucks up far, far too much of my waking life and my energy and it's making me miserable. I'm currently too busy to go looking anyways... and I have to work on myself before I'd be good for anybody.

Please help me suppress it somehow.

It is at th core of being human that we want things that we don't and can't have. It seems that you're not after sex, or not *solely* after it, but a loving, compassionate, two-way relationship. Wildman, your mind will continue to eat itself with the 'what-ifs' and 'if-only's' until you either do something stupid or do something smart, like post on a dating site or use the services of a dating agency. I know that this is demeaning and all, but for one who is desperate is there really an option? Even if it doesn't work out, at least your mind will be sated for a time, and you will know that you have at least tried and experienced and accomplished. This will buy you some time and perhaps even a few pointers and tips on how to gain women in future independantly.

I can live without fulfilling that, for now.

I feel I have to work on myself spiritually (long story) before I can take that step.

But I just want to get through my day without being brought to my knees with the preoccupation.

I want tranquility while I'm trying to do things that are currently more important.

Oh... don't get me wrong, the day will come soon enough where I'll attack this problem balls to the wall... with enough information and temperance so that I won't screw it up with fanatical over-enthusiasm or anything.

But for the time being, I just want to have peak mental game. This preoccupation is the one thing preventing me from doing that.

Seriously, what cognitive strategy will serve me in the meantime?

Dude, you have to understand that things like love, acceptance, understanding, social interation and sex are innate needs/desires of human beings. You can't get over your biological and functional urges dude. If it's this bad then there is nothing you can do to sidestep or avoid it, no matter how bad you want to.

Well, then that leads back to a question I've asked on other threads.

How do I thwart aspie-style obsession? NT preoccupation I can deal with, but non-constructive aspie obsession SUCKS.

I'm obsessed with making music and am very anal about how I do it... but I'm proud of the product. And such tendencies serve me well as I grind away at the entry-level of academia.

But... when it comes to crap like this... I envy NTs.

Do not try to 'thwart', because that is going against who you are and the way your mind is wired and will never work. Simply, revel in your obsessions (the healthy ones), and for the unhealthy, give them time and stop placing yourself in situations or doing things that will constantly remind you of them of reinforce that fact. Obsessions can become addictions, which is quite dangerous. It's like giving up smoking - replace the object of fixation with something else. Smokers use lollypops to help fight it. Sadly though there is no 'social contact patch' that can be applied to the upper arm.

Was there some big long wrongplanet.net hall-of-fame super-thread that talked about how to deal with the unhealthy instances of Aspie obsession?

Because if there hasn't been, there will be. I will see to it.