07 Nov 2006, 7:55 pm
07 Nov 2006, 10:31 pm
07 Nov 2006, 10:33 pm
08 Nov 2006, 3:48 am
08 Nov 2006, 4:04 am
Perhaps you coul do what i tried once, and i ended up in a relationship for a year.
Perhaps look for an NT woman with AS relations or siblings, the reason i suggest that is because at least then, she would have a lot fo empathy for sympathy for you, she would understand your quirks and drives and how you act, and try to politley correct you rather then judge, at least then you would find one who would understand you. I dated a girl like that, my problem was she left me to do all the work and i found that it made tihngs difficult. But that should not put you off, see if that works. 
08 Nov 2006, 8:49 am
Just my 2 cents worth...
Casual sex is a different matter (and I've never gone in for that myself), but I believe that if you don't love and accept yourself, the person you are, then how the hell can we expect other people to love us and want to be with us?! If you are defeatist in attitude you will not get anywhere. Women in general are attracted to humour, confidence (not cockiness), intelligence, and a positive attitude. If a guy appears to be needy, we run a mile, especially us aspie women (speaking of which I am terrified of commitment!! !! hehe). I am not saying you are any of these things, Tim, but have faith in yourself and BE yourself! Another thing - make no limits - on time, the type of women, and so on. Things happen when they are meant to, and if it is meant to be, it will happen. Yeah yeah I know that sounds like a crock, but it might help to take the pressure off yourself a little.
I am single too. By choice these days, as I decided a few years ago that any search for male companionship was futile as my choices were so poor. In fact, I let the deadbeats pick me, as in reality I did not value myself enough to be with someone half decent. With age I have gained more confidence in myself, at the same time realised that I am better off staying single.
Never considered having a relationship with an aspie though - hmmmm....... maybe that's where I went wrong in the past LOL. NT guys didn't work for me, I felt smothered a lot of the time, but at the time I didn't know why I was different to NT girls
Take care Tim and good luck to you.
Jus
Prof_Pretorius
Veteran
Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,520
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library
08 Nov 2006, 10:16 am
09 Nov 2006, 5:03 am
11 Nov 2006, 9:16 pm
Casual sex is a different matter (and I've never gone in for that myself), but I believe that if you don't love and accept yourself, the person you are, then how the hell can we expect other people to love us and want to be with us?! If you are defeatist in attitude you will not get anywhere. Women in general are attracted to humour, confidence (not cockiness), intelligence, and a positive attitude. If a guy appears to be needy, we run a mile, especially us aspie women (speaking of which I am terrified of commitment!! !! hehe). I am not saying you are any of these things, Tim, but have faith in yourself and BE yourself! Another thing - make no limits - on time, the type of women, and so on. Things happen when they are meant to, and if it is meant to be, it will happen. Yeah yeah I know that sounds like a crock, but it might help to take the pressure off yourself a little.
I am single too. By choice these days, as I decided a few years ago that any search for male companionship was futile as my choices were so poor. In fact, I let the deadbeats pick me, as in reality I did not value myself enough to be with someone half decent. With age I have gained more confidence in myself, at the same time realised that I am better off staying single.
Never considered having a relationship with an aspie though - hmmmm....... maybe that's where I went wrong in the past LOL. NT guys didn't work for me, I felt smothered a lot of the time, but at the time I didn't know why I was different to NT girls
Take care Tim and good luck to you.
Jus
I am not into casual sex, but I am not a "wait until marriage" kind of guy either. I will not have sex outside of a monogamous relationship. I have a rigid set of criteria to ensure that I don't end up in a relationship in which I would be miserable. I had limited myself to other Aspies as a result of my first girlfriend cheating on me (she was an NT). My second relationship (with an Aspie) was long-distance, but the reason it did not work out was because I felt that she and I were exact opposites. That relationship started out wonderfully in the beginning, but she and I gradually drifted apart. She was suddenly less touchy-feely and even kissing her felt like a chore (touch is something I crave in a relationship, even the non-sexual kind). There was no intimacy beyond kissing (i.e. no sex). Plus she had a lot of issues regarding her family, and I was trying to get a career started, and it was becoming too much.
I want someone who hopefully has a lot in common with me, and is very affectionate and intimate, and preferably physically attractive.
Tim
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