I'm inadequate

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That's the main thing - getting her away from the Other Guy is important. If you make moves on her whilst he's there, he'll very skilfully make you look like a fool and she'll probably end up choosing him. You have to be confident and straightforward. Do this with a matter of urgency - don't let your inferiority complex get the better of you. If you do, you might as well tell her to date Other Guy instead.

You shouldn't think in terms of "superior" and "inferior" because that isn't really how things are. You should think more in terms of differences. The other guy has his particular set of interests and skills, and you have your own unique ones, that are not any better or worse than his...simply unique. It takes a lot more than good looks and chess playing skills to make a person . Not to mention, the qualities you mention about yourself are both extremely desirable traits to have, not just in terms of dating but really in all avenues of life.

In terms of what to do, I'd suggest asking her out somewhere without the "other guy" present. I would also suggest trying to act more optimistic and happy, even though you stated that you may not feel that way. A little optimism can go a long way, and people are usually much more receptive to someone they perceive as being happy and satisfied.

The last few posts seem to indicate that the general opinion is that I should try to get some one on one time with her and ask her out.
This question is going to seem strange, but how exactly would one word such a request? I have no idea how that's done. What do I say?
Also, how do I get her alone to do this? I might actually have an idea for once. I could simply ask, "Can I have a word with you in private?" Would that work?

I think that sounds like a lovely idea! I think you're gettin' the hang of this

Yeah, that part I think I'm okay with. The problem is I have no idea how to word the subsequent question, in which I ask her out.

Here's one way: "Do you want to <insert activity here> sometime?"

"Do you want to go to the movies sometime?"

"Do you want to grab a coffee sometime?"

Those are just two examples. So long as you know what you want to do, you have a way to phrase it!

Thanks Joker, you give a lot of kind and good support to other members.



Thanks .

A simple, are you busy next week would do. How you get her alone is up to you.

Last edited by ZX_SpectrumDisorder on 09 Apr 2012, 4:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

You dont have to join a chess club to meet women.

I joined a bible reading club(dont ask) and there have been several people asking me about some of the girls I met there(we went to some sort of open mic night as a group and took some pictures that ended up on fb). Basically anything that means going out and interacting with people of any sex should be helpful since it means having to work on your social skills and usually leads to progress.

Be confident and discreet when you do it though, and be prepared to be flexible (but also don't roll over).

Okay. Thank you, everyone, for all of your advice. We'll see how it goes on Tuesday. Confident, discreet. Flexible, but not rolling over. I think I can do this if I bear these things in mind.

Sounds like a plan. Don't come on strong. Be casual about it.

I'm super excited for you! please let us know how things work out.

Yes. Full report on Wed

Having the other guy distracted should do the job, ideally a friend might help with that if planned and timed right.

That sounds like a goer!