Fear that your kids will have autism? How do you discuss it?

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Pyrite
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10 Apr 2012, 12:26 am

diniesaur wrote:
I, personally, would prefer to have an Autistic child over a Neurotypical child because I worry that I will have trouble communicating with the child and the child will not like me. It will probably be hard enough for the child to grow up with a Pagan transman for a parent...


This may be a good point with regard to AS/AS couples, but if one parent is NT then the child will have difficulties with a parent either way. In any case, most of those they meet and have to deal with in life will be NTs.

Joker wrote:
I really want to have children and I wan then to have either Autism or AS it really is a gift in my opinon I know the good and bads about it but I have more good thing's in my life because of AS.

Some scientists have called it the next step in human evolution some of them say we can absorb information like a sponge.

Their are so many good traits about being a Aspie that most people don't even notice.

Good comunincation skills are overrated in my opinon.


Maybe I'm better at some things or of greater value to society because of AS, but I don't think I'm happier, in fact I suspect I'm less happy than I would have been if I'd been born NT even assuming some loss of intelligence and other aptitudes went with it.



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10 Apr 2012, 12:29 am

Pyrite wrote:
diniesaur wrote:
I, personally, would prefer to have an Autistic child over a Neurotypical child because I worry that I will have trouble communicating with the child and the child will not like me. It will probably be hard enough for the child to grow up with a Pagan transman for a parent...


This may be a good point with regard to AS/AS couples, but if one parent is NT then the child will have difficulties with a parent either way. In any case, most of those they meet and have to deal with in life will be NTs.

Joker wrote:
I really want to have children and I wan then to have either Autism or AS it really is a gift in my opinon I know the good and bads about it but I have more good thing's in my life because of AS.

Some scientists have called it the next step in human evolution some of them say we can absorb information like a sponge.

Their are so many good traits about being a Aspie that most people don't even notice.

Good comunincation skills are overrated in my opinon.


Maybe I'm better at some things or of greater value to society because of AS, but I don't think I'm happier, in fact I suspect I'm less happy than I would have been if I'd been born NT even assuming some loss of intelligence and other aptitudes went with it.


I just have always looked at it as a good thing I am one of the rare Aspie in the world that look at it that way.



Pyrite
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10 Apr 2012, 12:07 pm

Joker wrote:
I just have always looked at it as a good thing I am one of the rare Aspie in the world that look at it that way.


Fair enough, we are all be better off accepting the things we can't change.



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10 Apr 2012, 1:24 pm

I don't fear having a child with AS/autism even though the traits fun in the family. I would rather them be NT with decent mental health throughout life for their own sake, I would not wish autism on anyone especially my own children. And there is so much more information out there about raising "normal" children and funnily enough I'd find it easier too to look after an NT kid. However if they did end up inheriting the spergy genes I wouldn't mind.


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11 Apr 2012, 2:58 am

I wouldnt be afraid of it because I myself have it I will know what they will go through in life and will be easier for me to understand them. There is a chance if i have a child he or she will be born autistic so I am ready for that. Chance might be HFA/AS like me if LFA then it just means I will have to pay special attention and compassion but I will love my child either way be it NT or Auty or Aspie or even LFA.


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diniesaur
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11 Apr 2012, 11:19 am

Pyrite wrote:
Maybe I'm better at some things or of greater value to society because of AS, but I don't think I'm happier, in fact I suspect I'm less happy than I would have been if I'd been born NT even assuming some loss of intelligence and other aptitudes went with it.


Would you even be "you" if you were born NT? I don't think I would be the same person if I were Neurotypical. My body would be filled with a different person, and I'd be somewhere else. To me, whether or not "I" would be happier as a Neurotypical is irrelevant, because that would not be me.


Joker, I've also heard people say it's the next step in human evolution. I think so, too, not in a sense of "improvement" but in a sense of change.



Pyrite
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11 Apr 2012, 12:01 pm

diniesaur wrote:
Would you even be "you" if you were born NT? I don't think I would be the same person if I were Neurotypical. My body would be filled with a different person, and I'd be somewhere else. To me, whether or not "I" would be happier as a Neurotypical is irrelevant, because that would not be me.


If you want to get all philosophical.



diniesaur
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11 Apr 2012, 12:15 pm

Pyrite wrote:
diniesaur wrote:
Would you even be "you" if you were born NT? I don't think I would be the same person if I were Neurotypical. My body would be filled with a different person, and I'd be somewhere else. To me, whether or not "I" would be happier as a Neurotypical is irrelevant, because that would not be me.


If you want to get all philosophical.


:lol: You're right...I just can't stop myself from qualifying things, even if it's completely unlikely or it goes against my own argument!



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14 Apr 2012, 11:35 am

I know that AS people are a great asset to society (being on myself). However, I know my life would have been easier and happier had I not had it (although I think my life is richer in some ways). Also I don't think communication skills are underrated, in fact I think they are becoming more valuable... And they're critical to success in the work world and in having successful relationships, and in parenting I'm sure as well. I have found ways to adapt my life to my deficits, but I would prefer to see my children have an easier life than I have (were I to have them).



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14 Apr 2012, 11:56 am

If I ever do have kids (which I currently do not wish to) I hope they're on the spectrum. I'd hate to have NT kids, I'd have to contact NT Speaks about getting a cure sorted! :wink:



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15 Apr 2012, 1:31 pm

I have no fear for my children because they will never exist. I have more fear for my unborn nephew who not only has a mother with some aspergers traces, an uncle with aspergers (being me of course) and a father who's in his 40's. Those odds certainly won't hurt his chances.


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15 Apr 2012, 7:40 pm

If I meet the right woman I would have children with her, but she would have to understand and accept my AS and other baggage, and be attractive/have similar values etc. I'm willing to make big sacrifices too, but it would be foolish of me to think I can have kids without all that in place.



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15 Apr 2012, 10:10 pm

I'll never have kids, primarily for that reason. I don't want to pass on my gene, or worse, give birth to a full blown special needs kids. I don't need that in my life.

That on top of the fact I have too many plans that don't involve children, that I don't relate to kids, I find the birthing process disgusting, I have no desire to give of my time to raising a kid, that I'm not able to give what a child needs emotionally, that I have too many bad memories of the rotten treatment I endured at the hands of other kids to rear kids of my own, and that I quite simply f*****g hate kids. Every time one throws a tantrum in the store or starts screaming, I want to tell it to shut the f**k up.

In sum pretty good reasons not to have kids.



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15 Apr 2012, 11:44 pm

Deciding that you're genes aren't worth passing on is a total condemnation of not only yourself but every single one of your ancestors.



Pyrite
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15 Apr 2012, 11:49 pm

Evinceo wrote:
Deciding that you're genes aren't worth passing on is a total condemnation of not only yourself but every single one of your ancestors.


Sometimes it's just a recognition of fact, if your genes are such that you have a 100% chance of passing on Huntington's it would be objectively unfortunate for someone to have you as a parent and hardly reflects on your ancestors as individuals.



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16 Apr 2012, 3:05 pm

Pyrite wrote:
Sometimes it's just a recognition of fact, if your genes are such that you have a 100% chance of passing on Huntington's it would be objectively unfortunate for someone to have you as a parent and hardly reflects on your ancestors as individuals.


It does not reflect on them, it's your opinion of them. They went to all the effort of passing on their genes, and rather than accepting them, you just decide that they aren't good enough.