Are women "testing" men?

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These guys are snake oil sales men, not relationship experts. Women evaluate men, but only the unstable or the brainwashed play mind games.

Edit: Learn the signals and nobody will play mind games with you.

^ truth



People evaluate potential partners, that's kind of the point of dating, to asses compatibility.
It's not a purely feminine pursuit.

I think guys who listen to PUA's and girls who follow "the rules" all need to hook up with each other so they stop ruining everybody elses' sincere fun.

This.


Some people test other people and are looking for the "right" answers and someone who will follow the "rules" but is not a quality of women specifically. Plenty of people DO do this sort of thing, though, so it is possible the women in your life have done it to you.

this.


AND this. the bolded part cracked me up. HALLELUJAH

I think women do tend to "test" guys, even if not in such an obvious or even deliberate manner. It could be a subconscious mechanism to reassure them or a deliberate act to see how a man will respond.

I don't know if this is helpful, but my belief is that in the beginning of every relationship there is generally a "honeymoon" phase in which your partner seems perfect, after that passes reality sets in and you start seeing their flaws, so as a female when I begin a relationship and from the start things are not quite "good enough" or as "perfect" as expected, it is definitely a red flag since things will likely just get worse over time.

Maybe you doing physics in church was one of those things that immediately turned her off since she was expecting perfection of you, at least in the beginning of the relationship. Always put your best foot first.

does anyone have any actual evidence or even examples of women "testing" men in a way that men don't do to women? i'm surprised people are asserting this as some kind of obvious truth, yet so far it's not been based on any sort of objective reality.

I probably could find some evidence, but you're right it is an opinion of mine rather than something I've done peer-reviewed research on

It seems like a corollary of typical male-female courting to me tbh. Typically men try to seduce, and women allow men they like to try to seduce them. There is some discussion of this in Plato's Symposium but with reference to the older-younger homosexual male relationship. So maybs it's just a corollary of dominant-submissive relations.

I didn't mean to make women in general sound conniving either btw. I'm v.pro-feminist. But anyway here're a couple of Beyonce's songs good that are about this kind of thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOXvqkC3 ... ure=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1dUDzBdnmI

it doesn't follow that women would be testing men more than the reverse though. there are myriad situations that could appear to have men testing women.

what i think is that both sexes keep an eye out to make sure that their mate is a good choice, and when too many things happen that seem to indicate the person is no longer a good choice, they break up. i do not think this is an unconscious or conscious set of tests.

I've been tested by many men. They test my patience, my flexibility, my control over my temper, etc.

It does follow because the more submissive individual has to signal that it's ok for the other to persue them, and then there's the persuit itself. This very much implies a kind of game imo. And a kind of game men normally aren't in a position to play with women. Albeit - who's to say men don't also test women to some extent? I'm not saying they don't but.. I don't think they do to the same degree.

I don't know whether it's conscious or unconscious. It just seems to be something that men and women (not me though) seem to enjoy, until it ends badly for one of them. Personally women I've been involved with have had me persue them for what seemed like a self-esteem boost and attention. But maybe I just failed at it, I don't know. But I'm sure that process would have happened whether they were genuinely interested or not, and I would say that it could meaningfully be called 'testing'.

but... you have nothing to base that on. if it is personal observation, i can offer the observation that men and women do not seem to "test" each other at all, except perhaps for sociopaths or people with control issues.

using your logic it would make more sense for men to "test" women as they choose which ones to date. but i do not think that either one is true.

It does follow that the object of a romantic persuit is in a better position to 'test' the persuer than the other way around. How does it not?

no, it does not. it seems that the person who is in a more powerful starting point would be in a better position to test the other. i think the person who does the pursuing holds the power. it isn't always men. in my case, it is me - i am a pursuer even though i am female.

Predatory.

rawwwrrrrrr.

i don't actually "test" anyone though. i just think that the person who is ding the pursuit has quite a bit of power over what happens initially.

Yes sometimes women persue. But even then, if it's a man they're persuing, when he consents and there is the beginning of some kind of relationship, there's a danger that he might just use her for sex. So eventually it will turn around to the woman 'testing' the man again to ensure his intentions are what she wants.

I think it comes down to women having less sex cells than men and therefore being the sexual selectors of the species. I can't remember the exact details but I read something along these lines in an evolutionary psychology book by Allen Macneil. It was a while ago that I read it now.. I'll have a recap tomorrow..