part of me wants to think she's cheating on me with her...

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I would be careful of her then ... not that she's a bad person, but she may be going through things you don't know about.

I'll tell her her hair looks nice and I like her smile, and she says "thank-you". Is that wrong? Sometimes I think so.

She may be aware of your feelings for her; although "thank you" seems an innocuous enough reply. Feelings don't necessitate action. There is nothing wrong with your feelings; it's what you do with them that matters. She is married and has a family - it's only my opinion, but I would steer clear.

I do sort of flirt with her. It's not the Joey Tribbiani way of flirting, but it's my way. I'm very introverted.

She notices things about me, too. She said today, oh, your eyebrows are all bleached. Hard to explain how she said it, but it was sort of a way *I* would have flirted with her. Sometimes she'll say, "how's the online dating going?" with a subtle smile on her face, almost as if, with the way she says it, she is living vicariously through me.

I wouldn't encourage this behavior - mixing therapy and flirtation is not healthy. You could tell her you don't feel comfortable with her (you don't have to explain why.) I've done this with a counsellor and was later assigned another one. (No sexual tension with mine - he was just a dufus.)

As I think I mentioned, I'm a client of a social work team, an Assertive Community Treatment (ACT) team, and dropping her would mean dropping the whole team. I like the team, mostly, so I am not sure about his.

Well, you don't want to lose your team over this. I would not encourage her flirtations though.

Well, I think I'm going to have to disagree with you, Ann2011. Most everyone else I know is telling this was not inappropriate or flirtaceous.

You know your own situation best.

Have some dignity, man.

Not sure what Boo meant.

Anyway, I talked with another team member today, and he encouraged me to give myself a break about it. Maybe I can.

No offense, but I don't think you can say you have a "thing" or whatever with her, at all. Saying "oh your eyebrows are bleached" isn't flirtatious, in fact to me, that sounds a little awkward. Social workers have to be friendly and very personal in conversation, and that's easy to mistake as flirting, especially for someone who doesn't read signs well - which is many people with AS. I recommend backing off immediately.

Also, for her to be "cheating on you with her husband", you not only would've had to had sex with her multiple times, she would have to be separated or seeing you way more than him. The title of this thread is way too juicy, compared to the content.

I think he means that there are several reasons why she is off-limits and you need to either: stop thinking so much about her or try to find a new team and avoid her(Im sure there are some other reasons you could give for this need to change).

If you keep obsessing about her and interacting with her you are likely to eventually slip and things are likely to go badly from there.

That's politeness on her part, not flirting. She can't very well say "Bugger off fucknuts, I wouldn't sleep with you if my life depended on it." (She probably doesn't think of you as badly as that, but yeah.)

He told me he meant that I should have some dignity and not chase around married women. I told him I'm not chasing her, I just have feelings for her. Two different things.

If your happy with this help team don't mess it up. Compassionate care workers are hard to come by remember that. What happened to the weather girl you were obsessing over.