Aspie guys - can you relate to this behavior?

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I think it's a good idea for you to tell him that, but make sure to take a gentle, subtle approach. From the sound of it, he's not too comfortable with emotional gestures and words. Not saying he has a lack of feelings, of course.

That's why I was really careful to say I'm not him and I can't say anything with certainty. Everybody's different. Myself, it's a light touch that makes my skin crawl, a firm touch like a hug is ok. But judging from another thread I read here, some are uncomfortable with hugs too. If he's set a boundary, you kind of have to respect it. But you could try and get more details, pose theoretical situations or something.



I'm sure it must be very confusing for you. Since he's not giving out any information, there's no way to know. But, speaking strictly for myself, I would avoid spending time alone with a woman that I had no interest in, if I felt really anxious about it.



The former, for years.



Complicated question. Flaws or difficulties that I can relate to play a big role. But not someone who is miserable or puts themself down excessively. This is a really hard question to answer. Also, I'm never entirely comfortable. Only more comfortable or less comfortable.



In an ideal world, where neither practicality nor fairness to anyone else had to be taken into account, a world of pure selfishness, she'd make all the moves all the time, forever. I know that can't work and it's not fair, so, in a relationship, I put lots of effort into struggling against my anxiety. It's impossible before the ice is broken, but gets easier after.



Friends hug, so I wouldn't read any more than that into it. And you've said he's told you he isn't comfortable with hugs.



If you're more comfortable expressing yourself that way, why not? At least you'd get it off your chest.

He may have a much easier time communicating without having to deal with body language and facial expressions and all those subtleties at the same time. And having lots of time to articulate himself. Of course, he's still going to have to deal with those things eventually but it'll be safer, and that much less overwhelming when some things are out of the way. You might want to point out that you're telling him because you'd really like to know how he feels.

The worst that could happen is you'll get some closure.

If I were this guy I would have almost surely understood you are after me and I got a green light.
Anyhow I am not sure I can relate to him. I am a bit autistic but I am not sure I am asperger ( I also dont like to use the words aspie and NT, we talk about a spectrum and we should avoid a black and white duality).
Keep in mind that there are a plethora of mental problems other than autism, such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoid personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder and others which can create emotional and relational troubles to people.
Also a man suffering from sexual impotence or who has been raped as a child can have huge troubles getting close to a woman, all things you can not rule out a priori.
I hope this helps.

I would say it depends on his past.

If he's had bitter relationships in the past it maybe why he's acting strangely.

Inexperience could be another, but carry on communicating with him and just being yourself with him without saying "I Miss/love you" every night...and use it on special milestones when he'll have an initiative to tell you the same too.