The hardest day of my life...

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She's made a decision and is trying to create distance, even if it means making you hate her, and pretending to herself that she doesn't still care for you.

She's trying to make her heart support the decision her head has made, and to make circumstances catch up as well, by creating a different life, seperate from you.

Move on. With the knowledge that love is forever, and that mistakes are easy to make.
Time is really a great healer.

Parents are difficult to go against, no matter how much they can be wrong, or even abusive, people struggle to move away from their pressure.

Pain rarely makes sense.

Mmkay, so basically for the next two months I'm going to just try and not think about her or anything but here is the thing. I wrote this letter out to her and plan to rewrite it by hand send it to her on the 20th of June so it gets to her on the 21st. If she still wants nothing to do with me by then than so be it and i'll leave her alone. But if she does then I'll take her back in a heartbeat. What do you guys think of this letter? Any suggestions or criticisms?

Hi Sarah, if the letter went through the mail alright today should be our two year and a half anniversary if we were still together. I know I’ve said I’m done contacting you but I just wanted to send you this letter and let you know how I’ve been doing (very good), and maybe share some feelings. I’ve been thinking about our entire relationship the past few months and realized quite a few things. First of which is honestly Sarah, I know you don’t really hate me and still love me whether you are able to recognize it or not. It shows with how you didn’t give me back the ring or the pillow pet. Those were the two things that meant the most to both of us in the relationship and you keeping them clearly shows that you aren’t fully ready to let go and that you still care. I also honestly realized that our rough patch didn’t get terrible until about February... We had some minor issues since Thanksgiving but we were still in love, happy, and still best friends. To try and claim we were growing apart during that time I just can’t see it as true. We were going through a minor rough patch because of the stress around us but we were still happy and pulling through. I know you don’t like me saying this but honestly I’m realizing a lot of this breakup might have been from you listening to your parents and other people who dislike me, and how when you aren’t doing great emotionally you tend to jump to the worst possible conclusions and overreact. I know the bad trip to Disneyland had an affect on everything as well.. You are having a very skewed perception on this all and it hurts to see you like this... We were happy and you know that. We loved each other and you know that. Why have you been trying to deny that? You’re letting people influence you and get under your skin. I’m not going to name names but I’ve talked to a lot of people who are friends with both of us immediately after the breakup and every single one of them was able to clearly see that you were overreacting and not thinking the way you normally do. And I didn’t say it all from my perspective either, I laid it all out citing both of our actions and everything that had happened that has happened in the entire relationship and they still realized it. And while I already broke her trust when I was acting rash and she hates me I guess now I’ll just bring up Kris for example, while I talked to her the least of the people I’ve talked too she also agreed that you were just overreacting and most likely unknowingly being influenced by your parents and that she wanted us to work it out. And honestly I may be wrong but I feel the reason you aren’t wanting to take me back is because of a few reasons, one is that you are afraid the fighting will continue which I can assure it would not, another is that you are worried about the relationship you have with your parents. And Sarah, while I admit i’m not the biggest fans of your parents, during the time I was talking to Kris she brought up a very good point. I don’t have to like them, hell Kris told me she thinks they are the most evil people in the world but she puts up with them and is nice towards them for Paul’s sake and doesn’t say anything bad about them to him. And I realize I have to do the same with you and was stupid not to do that in the first place. I was immature and wrong and I’m sorry. I know you don’t want your parents out of your life and I don’t blame you. They raised you, and cared for you your whole life and they have been pretty much all you have had. If we ever end up working things out and you want me back you don’t have to worry about me trying to keep you away from your parents, I was incredibly stupid to try and distance you from them. I just want you to remember though that we had something amazing together and that we weren’t going through hell for as long as you currently think we were... It had only been about 2 months. Hell in the picture I sent attached was from February, you can’t claim you don’t look happy in it. And if we end up working things out things would be a million times better. While this break has hurt me more than you could imagine it really was needed to help me see how things really are. As you remember Paul and Kris went through a breakup but got back together 2 months later and were happier than ever. That could be our story as well. We may have just needed some time to look at things and how they really were. I’m a much more positive person since the breakup as I’ve used the time to find myself again and make sure to know how to not lose myself again. I’ve also been doing some interesting philosophical writings that I thought you might want to read that I’ve attached, stuff about parallel dimensions and reincarnation and such. I’ve also been a goon and have been writing Hunter x Hunter fan fiction. I’m also going to be starting up college full time in August and will be using Social Security and Section 8 to survive for for until I graduate and so I can get a good job with the state and my dad. I’m really such a new person now, full of joy, love, and respect for everybody and I’d love for you to see for yourself. And at the time of writing this I don’t know if you are still with Tim as you have me blocked on FB and I’ve just been trying to not hear about you and avoid Tim’s Facebook in general during this, but you really can’t have really loved him could you...? I mean he’s so much against who you are as a person... He’s a big stoner, he’s an alcoholic, and the way I’ve seen his posts on FB he seems so unlike you in every way. I also worry about him being faithful to you with how he still talks to his ex girlfriend who he loved. I just worry about you because while you may not want to be I still think of you as my baby... I love you. I really do hope you’ve read the letters I’ve sent you and such but I understand you may not have... I just hope that you are reading this one. Currently I feel entirely like the me when you met me and fell in love with me, but with the added experience of maturity and self control I’ve gained in response to the breakup. I feel really good and I’d love to make you feel how you did when you were in love with me but 1quatrillionbillionzillionbombillion times more. Hopefully you respond back , if you don’t it’s okay... But if you do please respond by letter. It’s really romantic and sappy and I like it . Maybe we could go out for coffee or Incredible Johns sometime and just talk about how we’ve been? I just kind of wanted to let you know how I was doing, and letting you know I have no hard feelings towards any of this and hope you are doing well.

-Yours truly, always and forever
Caleb Robertson

It's a good letter, the ending is beautiful.

But, you know, she may have completely moved on by the time you send it, so, just be ready for that.
Also, possibly obvious, but make sure you rewrite it afresh when the time comes to send it. You may have a different perspective on some things, or have even changed your mind, or found a way to word something that works better...anything you can't predict right now.

It's good. And it's positive. Especially if you really do all those things you describe in there.

People are different, so it's possible.
2 months can be a long time, alot can happen.

But. Not to give you false indications or anything, but my partner & I were apart for a year, and our feelings hadn't changed.
Anyone else would have moved on by then, we each expected the other would have...The point is, it's different for everyone. She may have moved on within 2 weeks. That can happen too.

Just be real with your own heart, be positive and keep moving forward.
If it's right, it will happen, if not, something else will come along, and you'll be ok with that, because it will feel right at the time.

Best strategy. Then you'll be ok either way.

IMO you need to get the ring back. Its common practice for the women to give ring back if engagement is broke off.

I know you don't want to hear this, you may have to take her to court for the ring.

Just a question but are you really 18 years old? That's an extremely young age to be engaged.