Come on guys! Get qualifications!

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your frustrations seem to go above and beyond an average person's (i believe you wished that an ex-crush should get abused by her husband or something - that is scary). people can sense that sort of thing in other people and it is a huge turn-off.

Yes but I could never hurt anyone myself. Never, ever. I feel terrible the whole day if I run over a bird.

I vent my frustrations here so they won't pervade or fixate. People do that through writing. Maybe if more people vented their frustrations to others, they wouldn't bottle them up.

But face to face, I treat everyone with kindness. As I want to be treated. I just want to be liked, and find love. And each person I meet, I'm willing to give them everything I have. I feel I have within me the capability for incredible compassion and love, and I want to share that with someone, instead of wasting my energy doing these damned movies nobody sees, or these restoring those stupid antiques no one buys. And when I get rejected, they're rejecting everything, they're throwing me away. And it just affirms my self hatred and worthlessness.

But I keep trying to fake the self confidence, until the day I finally succeed with someone, and then I'll have a little real confidence, and I can build on it.

I can relate to Brian. I'm sure we aren't the only ones who've ever had ill will towards those who hurt us. There's a very large difference between fantasy and reality, and I'd be surprised to learn that people are as innocent as they'd like to think. It is only natural to want any sort of vengeance, even if it doesn't ever materialize. Otherwise the only other option is to be self defeatist, and that is far worse.

you may have noticed a theme that wishing ill will on people is a massive turn off for other people. don't think for a moment that you can bury that - it scares people, or at least makes them wary. they can sense someone has underlying anger.

Having a college degree will not get you a girlfriend some girls date high school drop outs.

Brianruns10, your contribution on the other thread about my situation was very helpful. My Aspie has experienced emotional extremes from all the rejection too, and has sometimes expressed it in very harsh, cruel language. But it has done tremendous damage to people who had no intention to hurt him. Here's an example.

We met in graduate school - a small, closed community. Before he met me, he hooked up with a gorgeous blonde in our class. They had sex only twice. She was a nice girl, a "look-but-don't-touch" type (which can be very confusing and frustrating to NT men). Some women like to look fantastic, but they are not necessarily inviting all the obscene thoughts others have about them. Women like her respond well to guys who are gentle, non-threatening, and very respectful of her comfort level. Guys who can read zillions of subtle non-verbal cues, and hold themselves back no matter how urgent their need is.

In other words, my Aspie was EXACTLY the wrong guy for her. He is very threatening, like a caged animal. He is the most invasive, energetic, ferocious lover imaginable. If he is wound up, he doesn't give a damn what your comfort level is. He comes across as a domineering pervert with no sense of boundaries. He is also physically enormous, and has kind of a scary face. Now, none of that bothered me. I could read his emotions and loved his passion. But I'm certain that his "bedroom style" completely freaked her out, which is why it only happened twice. And she never talked about it afterwards.

But he was so hurt by her "rejection," that he told a number of people that she was just another crazy, vindictive slut out to get him. He did not appreciate how much social power he had, so word got around, and it destroyed her reputation. She'd done nothing wrong, had no bad intentions. It was just a mismatch. But the jeers, teasing, and humiliation got to be too much. She dropped out a year before graduation, having accumulated a lot of debt. She did transfer to another school and finish her degree, and wrote a journal article on mental health in graduate students. Two times with him screwed up her whole life.

Saying the things he did was very cruel and unfair, and he has no knowledge of the very damaging effect his words had. To this day, he still dismisses whats-her-face (he says he can't remember her name) as just another crazy, vindictive slut. I have yet to discuss it with him, because so many other matters have taken a higher priority. But I would say this. Given that Aspies have trouble mind-reading, it's very terrible to go around attributing intentions to people, that you aren't sure they have. Isn't that exactly the cruelty that's been inflicted on you your whole life? Your pain is legitimate and understandable, but using words like that can be like waving around a loaded gun. So I beg you, find another way to let off the steam.

It makes no difference whether anyone dislikes it. If they can't take me at my worst, they aren't worth my time. I'm done being the one to take risks or give the benefit of the doubt.

it does make a difference, because you're painting yourself into a corner. if you are happy pushing other people away with anger, then fine. but if you get lonely or sad because people start avoiding you, then it is a situation you can change.

Einstein have aspergers, and he have a wife and family. So he did physics, speed of light and space time continuum!

For me, I have sustainability awards, excellence in community/uni participation in sustainability, green representative at the colleges, degree in environmental disasters, climate change and sustainability, and also I have some skills involving internet, Microsoft office, presentation, planning, impact assessments and that etc.

Is that enough for a girl to marry me because all of my qualifications is too much? A high school drop out is least likely to get one due to minimum requirements. It has a career, but least qualified than college/uni degree.

I want to marry a hot doctor......

ummm, theres no evidence he had it. Also he married his cousin... Of all the physicist you could mention hawking would have been the best as he has obvious difficulties. Yet this is what he thinks
"When asked what he thinks most about during the day the physicist, who turns 70 on Sunday, said: "Women. They are a complete mystery.""
so yea, lets cut out the examples without getting to know them better

If you are looking for women to date you for superficial reasons such as money or looks, you will attract the wrong type of women or the relationship will be shallow. If that is the case, it won't bring you true acceptance or worth, only you can do that, stop relying on women for validation and start to find value in who you are as a person.

You should get qualification for yourself, not for getting girlfriends.

I have a master's degree, it didn't make me sexier, it didn't make me more visible.

What made me sexier is working out, yes...the looks part.

Its all about personal experiences and the great thing about them is that you cant make any generalizations from them.

I spent several years going to the gym several times a week.
One year I ended up school earlier than my friends and my mother kept trying to get me out of the house in the mornings, gym was near thought it deserved a chance. Somehow felt something great whenever I was exercising so I kept going there just because it felt nice.
During this two years I barely met anyone because I barely approached anyone.

A few months ago I was forced to drop the gym for three months.
It got me thinking about how much I depended on the gym as part of my routine and if depending merely on the gym was a healthy attitude.

I joined just about any club that was open to new members around tried to change my way of approaching people.
Thats the only thing that worked for me and Ive barely hit the gym lately(once in 2 months or something similar)

I dont understand who around here even dares question that women would care about looks as much if not more than the other things about someone.

If you are by any chance referring to me:

I dont question that women care about looks. However I also dont question that males do as well and I have to make sure that the rules are being followed.
The rules state that no generalizations should be made(theres even a sticky dedicated to clarifying that at the top of this section which I encourage you all to read every now and then just to avoid any possible future misunderstandings).

Now I can either start locking every thread that goes down the generalization path and hope that people eventually stop or I can try to provide a different point of view.
Hopefully you can see which of the approaches above is most reasonable.

I thought attraction takes major role in relationships? Like having higher qualifications etc. Thats why ABS was suggesting on it according to their data.