Crushes are crushing

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05 May 2012, 8:46 am

cool story dude, anyone have anything within the general vicinity of the topic to say?

reminder: it's crushes

Did anyone else 'assign" themselves a crush when they weren't really interested in anybody. I remember in elementary and middle school it was a big deal who you liked and it was a lot of what everyone talked about (like all the time too, hormones man..) and you would be left out of a lot of socializing and female bonding if you didn't have one. I didn't really start getting interested in guys until midway through high school so I would just pick someone I didn't think anyone else had a crush on (so as to avoid conflict) and say I liked them.
Looking back it seems very odd to me.
Now that I've experienced the real overwhelming unrequited crush feelings I'm glad I wasn't dealing with them then too. I don't think I would have had the tools in my mental health hand box to manage it very well at 13.

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Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on 05 May 2012, 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bucephalus
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05 May 2012, 1:14 pm

my crushes were automatic, never assigned. i know what you mean tho.

Kurgan
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05 May 2012, 1:17 pm

My crushes were involuntary. I rarely get a crush on someone, though.

Joker
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05 May 2012, 1:20 pm

I rarley have a crush on anyone when I do get a crush I do my best not to become obsessive.

Bloodheart
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05 May 2012, 1:28 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

Did anyone else 'assign" themselves a crush when they weren't really interested in anybody. I remember in elementary and middle school it was a big deal who you liked and it was a lot of what everyone talked about (like all the time too, hormones man..) and you would be left out of a lot of socializing and female bonding if you didn't have one. I didn't really start getting interested in guys until midway through high school so I would just pick someone I didn't think anyone else had a crush on (so as to avoid conflict) and say I liked them.
Looking back it seems very odd to me.
Now that I've experienced the real overwhelming unrequited crush feelings I'm glad I wasn't dealing with them then too. I don't think I would have had the tools in my mental health hand box to manage it very well at 13.

Yes, I get that. I understand the need to have a crush within teen girl groups as part of bonding - when I first started hanging out with an all-female friend group in high school I was told I HAD to be attracted to a certain member of Take That...but not a member that any of the other girls were attracted to, so despite not liking Take That at all I got assigned to crushing on Jason Orange - teen girls are freakin' mental!

In all honesty as an adult I still assign myself crushes, I enjoy being in a crush...except for the part that this thread is about.

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hyperlexian
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05 May 2012, 3:52 pm

bucephalus wrote:

my crushes were automatic, never assigned. i know what you mean tho.

am i still allowed to have a crush on you if i am already in love?

(i figure the thread is full of sniping so i may as well add some loving <*cue Barry White*>)

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Tequila
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05 May 2012, 3:58 pm

Usually they reject or abandon me. Feck 'em. Feck 'em all.

bucephalus
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05 May 2012, 4:12 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

bucephalus wrote:

my crushes were automatic, never assigned. i know what you mean tho.

am i still allowed to have a crush on you if i am already in love?

yes, providing it is automatic and not assigned

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05 May 2012, 4:13 pm

bucephalus wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

bucephalus wrote:

my crushes were automatic, never assigned. i know what you mean tho.

am i still allowed to have a crush on you if i am already in love?

yes, providing it is automatic and not assigned

it seems to be outside of my conscious control, so it probably qualifies

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Tequila
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05 May 2012, 4:18 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

it seems to be outside of my conscious control, so it probably qualifies

I'm not sure it can be called a crush because the object of your affection both knows about and reciprocates those feelings.

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05 May 2012, 4:20 pm

Tequila wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

it seems to be outside of my conscious control, so it probably qualifies

I'm not sure it can be called a crush because the object of your affection both knows about and reciprocates those feelings.

good point. i'll keep it a secret then.

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bruinsy33
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05 May 2012, 7:42 pm

It can be frustrating having a crush on someone only to never let them know about it. I am actually fairly good at determining if a woman might be interested in me but I am terrible at letting them know that I am interested in them.

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