What is 'realistic' to expect in love and life?

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Sometimes it makes sense to just take one day at a time and try not to expect too much. I'm not saying people shouldn't go after what they want, but I am saying there are no guarantees in life and circumstances can change in the blink of an eye.

The only thing u can expect in this life is death. Everything else has many randomized variables. Everyone has a different definition of "realistic" expectations on love so I guess u believe what u want to believe. I'm very much a pessimistic personality. Maybe taking Murphy's Law and adding in "and hope for the best" would be a good way to look at it lol

donny - I have a really bad case of the 'what now?'s as well. I felt like I had a pretty close call with music around 30 but a step forward ended up being three backward and a year and a half of grind and no reward seemed like it took something major out of me. As for love life - I never was that stable with anyone to have the feeling like I literally 'lost' someone, but what also scared me is that as often as guys are supposed to find women they 'have to have' enough to make the moves, I felt like I saw one or two of those every five years and had no interest in what I saw around me aside from that - and I say that as someone who wanted a relationship *intensely* up until my mid 20's where women actually started liking me back but then I was the one not interested and I got to figure out, from the other side, just how tricky I am as well.

I really don't have any great answers. I dig for silver-lining and opportunities though, constantly, and try to turn the predicaments in my life around to my benefit. How well is that working out for me? I don't know yet, having a run of truly odd (not the greatest) luck for the last few years and I'm hoping something gives. At least, at a minimum, I want to be doing something I really like and feel strong with careerwise and be able to still make music, do martial arts, pretty much do anything that makes me feel great about myself on the side. Will the love of my life absolutely *not* stop by? I can't say with absolute certainty, I can't even say with majority certainty; it feels like a 'no' right now but, life has a way of surprising us as well and the strangest things can happen off of the strangest angles....or.....nothing at all - both are possibilities.

I think its key though to realize that you are the closest factor that you have to even having a 'semblance' of control over in life. Best to make the most of that and hopefully what's not there to help you will at least stay the heck out of your way.

Go get a career, get in shape, get your testosterone up(it helps believe me), get a decent car, look at investing into putting a down payment on a house. Then after all that, if a woman tells you, you need more than that; tell her to kick rocks and move on to the next one.

It is realistic to expect nothing.

We are apparently not entitled to anything.

Not even the constitution/bill of rights/UN human rights laws as in many nations these laws aren't followed and even in a safe wealthy country such as the U.S. any day terrorists or even just born and bred Americans can start a revolution, kill off your government and that make life hell for you.

You should not even expect your basic human rights to be respected because in many nations the government certainly doesn't.

Forget how hard you work, you deserve nothing.

None of us are.

You aren't even entitled to end your life. I hate the fact suicide is considered so taboo.

Suicidal prisoners are put in suicide watch which forces them to be alive, suicidal people are forced to attend therapy and mental health programs to prevent you from doing it.

They make it hard to kill yourself to make it difficult to get out of 'the system'.

People want them to 'suffer', even though many American and Aussie prisons are some of the most comfy prisons in the world.

You want prisoners to 'suffer'?

Change prisons so that they're like the one's in third-world nations.

Make them work guard monitored hard labor instead of loafing around in cells all day or letting them exercise with gym equipment only to make them stronger once the non-life sentence ones get out, feed them less almost to the point of starvation, etc.

Maybe depending on what you're in for, your treatment would vary.

Someone in prison for 2 years just for stealing a car for example deserves better treatment than life sentenced murderers, rapists, arsonists, kidnappers, etc.

Otherwise those with the worst sentences, deserve the worst treatment.

Don't outright torture them - they're still human.

But up the intensity a little...

You have a misconception about American prisons.

Yes, some of the "country club" Federal prisons are relatively cushy--they are glorified summer camps.

However, most prisons and jails in the US suck, there's lots of threat of violence, the food is rancid, and diseases like tuberculosis are rampant. This is especially true for maximum and medium-security prisons. State prisons and county jails are usually worse than Federal prisons. Even some low-security prisons are hellholes. Even in "decent" prisons, medical care sucks, you don't get your proper medications, and there are occasions where people are left to die.

You have lots of homosexual predator-type stuff occurring in American prisons.

Yes, they are not as bad as most prisons in the world--but American prisons are not the cushiest in the world.

I don't have any expectations in love and life, I didn't even know if I would off myself or not when I was in the darkest part of my limbo, I dunno how I've reached the promising path I am starting on, my only expectations are that there's no way in hell it gets as bleak and rugged as what I've come out of unless I get decapitated by a falling satellite and develop terminal space cancer in my guts... I'll listen to the professionals advice as to what direction I ought to work toward over the next decade.

I had a very intense and strange love out of nowhere before and found I am a capable human in that area if I could give what I did with the weight I had upon me and I am receptive to the concept of loving another person in a different stage of existence but it's not something I currently find useful to dwell upon, love happens out of the blue for me, if it happens I'll give what I have again. I literally have no expectations about the future though as I'm still recoiling from the reality of having a possibility of a different future to what I'd been balefully anticipating for a long while. Depends what you want relevant to what you're doing to get there and where you've come from and how that affects you.