Why do we have to do all the work?

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The man has to make the first move. The man has to drive the woman to the date. The man has to pay for everything. The man has to empress the woman. WTF?! !!
Us men have to have all these accomplishments (financial success, military service, fancy cars, etc...), while everything a woman needs to attract a man's attention, she was born with.
How about, for a change, we sit back and relax, and make the women have to do some work? How about all you ladies out there actually do something to prove to us that you are worthy of our time an attention for once?

Yes, and some men are outright *horrified* if a woman takes a leading role. True story.

Here most people try to split a bill up based on what people ordered (not just dating, but casual gatherings as well).

The whole approaching thing is enough bs that should have been gone long ago, but most women insist on it being so. And for paying ive noticed when i go to a restaurant with my roomate Im always handed the bill. Always. Even when she asked for it. And they give me a terrible look when i hand it to her.

Yes, and some men are outright *horrified* if a woman takes a leading role. True story.

Some are for sure. That's to be expected, because its outside anything they've thought about and they have no idea how to react - which means the self-defence/hostility mechanisms go into action. Fear of the unknown, I guess.

The man has to make the first move. The man has to drive the woman to the date. The man has to pay for everything. The man has to empress the woman. WTF?! !!
Us men have to have all these accomplishments (financial success, military service, fancy cars, etc...), while everything a woman needs to attract a man's attention, she was born with.
How about, for a change, we sit back and relax, and make the women have to do some work? How about all you ladies out there actually do something to prove to us that you are worthy of our time an attention for once?

Yes, and some men are outright *horrified* if a woman takes a leading role. True story.

Or to use a different analogy - sonar can't work if the signals don't bounce back.

And some women are unattracted to men who dont take the leading role.

It's not so much a risk, it's a question of the fact that there's still a strategy to it. Women have had thousands of years of practice and a man can never be even nearly as good at it, but I've had partial success in my life with a few basic understandings.

First and probably most important, the passive person is actually the one in control, because they have the power to reject, and the leading person is vulnerable because they're the ones to expose themselves and go out on a limb. That means you need to reduce the risk if you ever want to be approached - if you come across as judgemental, for instance, or if you're the sort to tell everyone about everything, that means the risk level is high and it's a barrier for anyone wanting to approach. So obviously you have to be less judgemental and be the sort of person that can be trusted to keep things in confidence. Basically it's not something you can do on the spur of the moment, its a life decision, and you have to base your personal growth around it - and accept that you aren't going to be as succesful as those who master the standard social model (ie the guy taking the lead).

Second, you have to reciprocate - its like a dance, you can't just stand there even if the other person is leading. Whatever risks they take you have to follow and take the same risks, or at the very least, be seen to try to. Or to use a different analogy - sonar can't work if the signals don't bounce back.

Third, you don't have control over who might approach you, or when. If you're approachable and you keep the risk level low and you let on a bit that you're not the type to take the lead, sooner or later, someone will approach you, probably when you don't expect it. This can be problematic on a number of levels, but I think the problems are too obvious to bother explaining. Solutions are incredibly complicated. There's a lot of thinking you have to do about this. It's a bit of a catch-22, you don't want to be available to just anyone, you still want to hook up with the right sort of person that's suited for you, but not many opportunities are going to come your way, either. If you're really specific about things like physical attributes you're totally screwed, you can't do this. Not that you can't have standards in that regard but you have to be open-minded, for example if you really like brunettes or redheads or something, you may have to deal with never getting approached by one; so it's best to try to develop less specific preferences. And you have to pay more attention to personality, normally if you're the one doing the approaching I think there is probably a subconscious process that already filters out some personalities you wouldn't be compatible with but in the passive role this isn't true, so you have to be more conscious about it.

Also there is not much of a social model for a man being in the passive role and a woman being in the leading role, so you have to recognize that you're going to have to develop your own approach all by yourself. And there's more to it than just sitting back and waiting. Nothing happens that way, especially considering you're not culturally suited to the passive role so you have to work at it even harder than women who take that role, who make it look easy because they've got a social model that's been developed over millenia to follow and they're operating in a culture where that's the expectation. But there is actually quite a bit of strategy and effort involved, despite the relative ease they seem to have with it.

EDIT: *slaps self on forehead* I forgot the most important thing of all, you have to remember to have self-respect and enforce your barriers. You can't be pathetic and easy and desperate, or you'll never attract anything except abusive people seeking to take advantage. Despite the fact you're not going to get many opportunities and they'll all be surprises, you still have to have a take it or leave it attitude. Not easy.

All things considered, if you *can* take the other role, you should do that.

The man has to make the first move. The man has to drive the woman to the date. The man has to pay for everything. The man has to empress the woman. WTF?! !!
Us men have to have all these accomplishments (financial success, military service, fancy cars, etc...), while everything a woman needs to attract a man's attention, she was born with.
How about, for a change, we sit back and relax, and make the women have to do some work? How about all you ladies out there actually do something to prove to us that you are worthy of our time an attention for once?

At least you're getting dates.

ahaha I'm assuming there are more.