Odd partner preferences?

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A punk/skater/goth girl who's into sports! (Good luck with me finding one of those) That Hayley Williams from Paramore looks like someone I'd get along with.

"Nature's objective is to throw men and women together under the influence of a powerful hormonal cocktail that causes them to procreate and not think." [Allan & Barbara Pease, "How Compatible Are You?"]
Not my favourite authors, on account of their fondness for gender stereotyping, but I think they're right here. They suggest that everybody serious about a good relationship should work out in detail what they're looking for before things go feral. Then I guess it's just a matter of hoping that checklist will get looked at and acted on. I think in my case the autism has delayed my realisation of that, and more importantly it's made it difficult to know exactly what I do want in a lot of areas. And the difficulty in reading character. I'd been living with somebody for several weeks before realising that they had almost no compassion for anybody.
There's also my penchant for unusual types, though these days I'm not quite so gung-ho about befriending them in a hurry. And my rather negative view of the mainstream. There's rarely been any group around to share opinions on the lady in question's personality, and I've always kept my feelings of attraction to myself, trying to get everything right from an ivory tower.

Ha ha! I couldn't agree more - but things with my Aspie went feral so fast, the checklist kind of went out the window. We were madly in love within 48 hours, and it never died. Turns out, we each meet the others' criteria better than any of our other partners ever did, in ways it took us both many years to recognize. Well, I'm finished with my checklist, at least. He may still be working on his a bit. As you say, the autism may be part of the delay, and create difficulties in reading character. However, it's not like my "mad NT skillz" have served me any better. In all but a few minimal respects, my ex-husband was exactly what I thought I wanted. You know how well that worked out.

What does "social control" mean? Don't like the sound of that.

Apart from that, it's a win. Pity I am a fella.

I went down the road to meet with a lady, convinced I was going to tell her how I felt about her and how I believed we shouldn't start a relationship. Within a couple of hours we'd started a relationship. It didn't last, and I rather feel I'd have been better off without it, but the similarlties between us were quite striking, and in many respects we seemed highly compatible. I've heard theories that people select partners in spite of, rather than with the help of, thought.


Yes, love is blind, even for NTs.