Friends don't like my boyfriend

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Peahen
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26 Jul 2012, 4:19 am

I have this problem with my very best friend (who happens to live in another state now and has yet to meet my AS boyfriend of 1-year). For the longest time, I could not explain to her that my boyfriend was not a jerk when I vented to her about his behavior. When I discovered he has AS, she laughed at me (didn't believe me; thought I'd "google-diagnosed" him) and kept pressuring me to leave the relationship. I finally just sent her an email describing AS and the supporting evidence that he has it (it was a loooong list!) and told her that she needed to be supportive of me in this and trust my judgement. Be firm with your friend; educate her about AS and how it affects your boyfriend's behavior, and if she cares about you, she'll knock it off.



Berrygirl
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28 Jul 2012, 8:09 am

Well, both frieds are very stubborn. One thinks I'm a classic victim of abuse who justifies everythig the man does and other thinks I'm infatuated and couldn't possible LIKE his personality. Both are wrong in my view but we'll see how it goes with time. Maybe when your fried meets your boyfriend she'll learn to appreciate him.



aspiemike
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28 Jul 2012, 9:02 am

What we are seeing here from your friends who are prejudiced about the boyfriend's personality. from the person who doesn't want to take a chance on getting to know someone because they are different and too 'weird', and from friends that tell a girl to leave the relationship because we are perceived as jerks or "horrible human beings" is peer pressure, and in some sense bullying. The girl in the relationship is more or less being pressured by their peers, and the guy is more or less a victim of bullying without even being present. I am not sure if this kind of ignorance is present, but do your friends ever ask you if you are happy with the relationship, or do they just always suggest leaving him instead?

And you know what, I on the other hand can't have a relationship because of a history of violence. I never hit a girl ever, but I have come close to killing another boy when I was younger. I have had a history of threatening people as well. I do have a blog about these particular meltdowns. That being said, anger management issues always linger here.



DialAForAwesome
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28 Jul 2012, 4:35 pm

aspiemike is totally right, and that's why some people can't get a break. Nobody is willing to get to know a person anymore; they judge on looks and vibes.

Leave the judging on looks and vibes to guys like me, who are actually right 9 outta 10 times. :P


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