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1000Knives
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26 Jun 2012, 12:28 am

Well, it's good to get some optimism in this board once in a while.

BrenJB
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26 Jun 2012, 5:09 am

1000Knives wrote:

Well, it's good to get some optimism in this board once in a while.

Yay! I did something good!

so_subtly_strange
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26 Jun 2012, 5:14 pm

BrenJB wrote:

Showers and brushed teeth is a must if he wants me to kiss him.

lol, this is funny. sounds exactly like the plight of my wife and I

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so_subtly_strange
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26 Jun 2012, 6:01 pm

rabbittss wrote:

Apples to oranges
. . . To further this, if you can't drive, and can't network... you will be very limited as to what kind of jobs you can get.. which limits how much money you can make.. which makes it impossible to MOVE and improve your situation.

really not apples to oranges. everyone within sight of these typed words has infinitely more options than those suffering in the third world. Of coarse your perception of your 'suffering' is relative and conditional to your own experiences, i thought that would go without saying. Im not even asking anyone to attempt to internalize the misery of living on the very edge of death, I myself dont even really have that ability. It does not strike me emotionally to know of these horrors. It is purely a feat of logic.

I have my own 'limitations', which I sometimes feel very distressed and downtrodden about. In the context of employment limitations you mentioned, I myself do have the functional ability to operate a motor vehicle, however this has no effect whatsoever on my communicational issues, which severely limit the kinds of jobs I am able to get. I have never succeeded in an interview for a job, unless I already knew someone employed with the company, and it was their vouching for my work ethic that got me the job. As presently I am a gas station clerk, and I technically do not make enough money to support my family. We survive by utilizing a fluctuating amount of debt.

Sometimes I am outright depressed with this situation. However eventually I realize I am living like a king compared to most other humans, and I have so many opportunities at my fingertips. So I go and read a science book or something and I am happy again.

I find it intolerable that everyone with the ability to read this does not see this as the only logical conclusion. I also believe anyone who is not on the same page need do nothing more than stop and consider for a couple minutes how damn fortunate you are.
However I will not mention it again.

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Kurgan
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26 Jun 2012, 6:11 pm

MR20 wrote:

f**k this sh**. I don't need to be more assertive, I don't need to take baths, I don't "need to get out of my comfort and socialize".

I don't need to buy high priced clothes, cologne, etc, just to impress f***ing people that never wanted anything to do with me in the first place. My money is better spent on things I enjoy.

I'm tired of the BS advice that people (male and female) give out here day in and day out. "Be confident and assertive" "Don't be bitter" "Stop being such a pessimist" "work on your social skills", as if everyone on the spectrum is capable of it.

I hate clubs and bars, I don't don't know of any anime/video game clubs in my area. Even if there were any, do any of you really think the people in there will accept a stinky, stupid, slow, and special ed person such as myself? How many of them would take out the time to actually talk and socialize with me, hell would they even invite me in?

I'm also tired of people saying that it's my fault that I'm alone, like I'm somewhat responsible for not having any friends and never dated.

Tell me, what attractive woman would go out with someone who is: ugly, has mild mental problems, slow, talks with a somewhat mild slur, (you people talk making good first impression, how is that possible for me when as soon as I open my mouth, people already think I'm not all there) poor, and a special ed kid that never made it pass 9th grade.

What group of men would want someone like me hanging around them when they're trying to talk to/pick up women.

I'm almost 26 and I can barely take care of myself. I am a bum and a pathetic loser. I'm not making excuses, these are irrefutable facts, and it's very frustrating when the people here (who actually think they know me better than myself) state otherwise.

I was born without a chance, it's unfair but it's true. I'm going to be a along forever, and there's nothing I can do (short of a miracle) to change that.

Not to be a dick or anything, but you shouldn't blame anyone but yourself for your problems.

If you were to meet a girl with similar drawbacks, would you date her? You still have the oportunity to get at high school equivalency certificate at your age and showers don't have to take more than three minutes a day. If it's any consolation, there are even people with Down's or fragile X who manage to get a G.E.D.

If you're an American, you're born with plenty of chances; in fact, the only ones on the western hemisphere with more oportunities are the Canadians.

MXH
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26 Jun 2012, 6:20 pm

Well if you're just going to be a b***h a round here and not bother to take advice and work on things then leave. Hmm where have i said this before

BlueMax
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26 Jun 2012, 7:30 pm

...at least you'll be able to pick at the fungus on your body while you wonder why no one wants to be around you.

MR20
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26 Jun 2012, 7:35 pm

BlueMax wrote:

...at least you'll be able to pick at the fungus on your body while you wonder why no one wants to be around you.

Yeah this is pretty funny because I actually have fungi (at least that's what I think it is) on me, On my back, on the inside of thigh, and on my upper shoulder.

It's been there for a few years. It hasn't bothered me all that much though.

MR20
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26 Jun 2012, 7:39 pm

Kurgan wrote:

MR20 wrote:

It's not my fault that I'm ugly, slow, and half-mentally ret*d. I'm not to blame for the way I was born.

MR20
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26 Jun 2012, 7:44 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:

At the very least have someone bathe you. .

I think this would cement me as being borderline ret*d. Needing someone to bathe me at my age due to me being incapable.

How could someone like that be mentally sound and/or normal.

outofplace
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26 Jun 2012, 7:45 pm

Well... if you aren't willing to at least do the minimum (take a bath ya hippie!) then you will get back exactly the amount of effort you put forth. Frankly, I can't stand the putrid stench emanating from my body when I don't bathe, but perhaps your sense of smell is not as acute as mine. Then again, it sounds to me like you put entirely too much weight on social situations and the anxiety leads you to your lack of success. The reason you are willing to go to the dead opposite of what people expect is because when you name your expectation and make it negative, it is easy to achieve your goal. That way, you don't have to deal with the pain of failure that comes from not knowing how a given situation will turn out. I call it "Eeyore syndrome".

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edgewaters
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26 Jun 2012, 7:50 pm

DonkeyBuster wrote:

I think your situation can change, but it's going to be a whole different paradigm than what most folks expect. Dumping the dominant framework would be the first step. IMHO

Agreed. The best way for a rabbit is not the best way for a deer. Bathing would be good, though.

Last edited by edgewaters on 26 Jun 2012, 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kurgan
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26 Jun 2012, 7:50 pm

MR20 wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

MR20 wrote:

It's not my fault that I'm ugly, slow, and half-mentally ret*d. I'm not to blame for the way I was born.

It's your fault if you do nothing to correct it. Furthermore, if you want give a girl with similar drawbacks at least a chance then you've only got yourself to blame.

Butters
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26 Jun 2012, 7:55 pm

Quote:

Not to come off as mean. But that is a health issue. It could get you very sick.

I work with a guy at school who has Autism. He isnt a bad guy, he slers when he talks, and rairly bathes, There have been times when we ( the class ) have had to let him know to take a shower, because he is hard to be around when he isnt hygenic. Yes people make fun of him and its wrong... messed up, but its what careless people do, tho I don't agree with them, I dont think its right he be made fun of.

You make your life what you make it. YOU no one else. Yes we can't control how we look, but you can impove the qualities you have. Don't play the pitty card and stop giving a f**k about your life because that wont make things any better for you. The only way to make things better for yourself is to take action.

No you dont have to take 5 showers a day, one three minute shower should be okay a day, and as suggested wet wipes if you have problems with using water. Spraying yourself with something that smells good will help but may not be needed, try finding sents you like.

You don't have to talk to mass amounts of people a day or even a few, thats your paragitive.

Do things that make you happy, but don't sulk if you wont do things that could make things easier for you.

All I'm saying is that being hygenic will get you far.

As for people assuming you are slow, tell them to screw off. People judge by the cover sadly, and your voice is not something that can be controlled which can be annoying I know ( I sound like a little kid when I talk and I'm 20 people can hardly hear me unless I yell )

We dont get to pick the cards we are delt, but we can do our best to make the most of that hand.

MightyMorphin
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26 Jun 2012, 7:58 pm

OK, that MR20 guy whatever your name is, just because you give up on life, doesn't mean people want to smell that you've given up.

It is not fair for others to be burdened with your stench.

I have a very serious mental illness that disables me, I'm on the schizophrenic spectrum, I can't currently work, I also have slurred speech and socially awkward and all the rest, because my disorder shares a lot of traits with aspergers/autism.
I am depressed more or less all the time, but just because my life sucks, doesn't mean I shouldn't have a freakin' bath or shower!

I am on disability benefits, as entitled, and if you're finding it so disabling, then so should you. You can get carers to come in and make sure you're eating a good diet, make sure you're having your showers etc, and any medication and the sorts, and you can also GET HELP!

Aspergers/autism doesn't have to be a life sentence if you want to do something about it.

Have a bath, clean yourself up, buy some new clothes, and go to a support group or see a therapist or something that can help you become more confident.

Yeah I'm also ugly and mentally screwed, and hell I'm damn lonely, but I am DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I'm in therapy, and I'm starting group therapy next week for the other half of it.
It's a year long course, but if I want to have a life worth living, and I want to be able to socialise normally, then I, ME, MYSELF, have to do that for myself.
No-one else can do that.

I do not feel sorry for you that you have a mental problem or whatever, because you refuse to even do anything about it and just sit around and moan that your life sucks and girls won't talk to you.
A BATH WOULD HELP!
The people I feel sorry for are people who are getting help, and finding it difficult, because at least they're trying!

MR20
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26 Jun 2012, 8:06 pm

Kurgan wrote:

MR20 wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

MR20 wrote:

It's not my fault that I'm ugly, slow, and half-mentally ret*d. I'm not to blame for the way I was born.

It's your fault if you do nothing to correct it. Furthermore, if you want give a girl with similar drawbacks at least a chance then you've only got yourself to blame.

It's not my fault! I can help being all those things I mentioned. I'm sick of people like you, just ignoring how I describe myself and saying to "get over it"

How the hell am supposed to make a good first impression when every time I open my mouth and people here me speak, they automatically think something is wrong with me. It isn't fair. I can't control what people think about me. I am what I am.

I just get frustrated with the advice people here give me. IE being more assertive, having confidence, socializing more and talking to people, forcing yourself to go out to populated places to talk to different people, learning body language, etc.

Like I'm capable of this stuff, when I can barely bathe and take care of myself at the age I'm at.

Then when I state my problems you say "get over it" and "you're just not working hard enough, I have no sympathy for you". It's such BS

It infuriates me and makes me bitter to no end.

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