Why is dating so hard?

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Alright. Just shorten the circuits in an elevator in the building either of you live in, and get on the elevator at the same time as the other. If planned correctly, you will be trapped in the elevator for a few hours. Best done after you have gone out to get a few groceries and don't have to go to the bathroom.

. The other person doesn't feel you're personality is compatible with theirs
. They are shallow minded and don't find you pleasant enough to look at
. Your social status isn't high enough for them
. You might come across as strange to them

really, it can happen for a number of reasons. But you shouldn't let yourself be discouraged, as you pursue different people you will learn a bit more with every experience. Also with every new encounter, you are increasing your chances of finding someone suitable.

The thing is, I'm terrified of elevators

Another good hint. Don't allow anyone's physical beauty to blind you.

What kind of message are you sending? I'm very message-fussy and won't reply to them if they have either of these two characteristics:

- There's nothing to indicate they read my profile
- They don't ask me any questions (so I don't know how to reply)

I don't know if other women are the same, but personally I pay a lot of attention to the way the person comes across in their initial message.

There has to be more to the truth other than that. I have sent messages that indicate those two things that you just mentioned. I get a reply 1 out of 20 times. This may indicate no attraction through the photos, the profile description, or both. Besides. I fare a lot better with meeting new people in person during social gatherings anyway. Much easier to sense any real attraction there.

Yes of course there's more to it than that. I mentioned it in case one of those mistakes was being made, because I reckon they would almost guarantee very few responses.

Out of curiousity, I counted how many of the last 20 guys who contacted me (on a particular site) I replied to. Five. And I met up with one. It's not too far from your 1 out of 20 replies...no idea really what that means but was interesting to see.

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 24 Jul 2012, 9:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mike, relax. I don't think any guy has more than a 10-20% success rate getting a conversation started on OKC. I'm sure this is for a multitude of reasons, including some of the ladies not being on the site so much to talk to people as to collect replies to feel better about themselves, being really shy themselves, or just being picky or just not feeling like it. This is after discounting that you've violated one of yellowtamarin's two sensible criteria already. Do not feel bad about it. Keep trudging.