So I watched that dating and flirting video...

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in my opinion, the way that this small talk and getting numbers seems to work is very similar to how commission salespeople operate. the "small talk" is a way of testing the water to see if the person is receptive at all. it buys time*** and it puts the other person into a position where they have to signal a response of some kind.

a commission salesperson won't usually do a lot of small talk until the deal is underway, but they'll usually open with a couple of basic phrases and questions to get an idea of how receptive and interested the customer is feeling.

*****

salesperson: hi, how are you?

customer: good, how are you?

S: pretty great because it is air conditioned in here. that heat is oppressive. you were brave to go out shopping in this weather!

C: hahaha yeah i guess so. my car has air conditioning too. but it's about the only thing that still works on the damn thing.

S: hahaha, i see. well how about i show you our most popular showroom model?

*****

it seems to me that getting a girl's phone number is a similar process. first you approach them, make them comfortable or surprise them with an intriguing statement, make them laugh if possible, chat a little bit, get the number. it's a hard hard process because it really does involve timing, instincts, confidence, and a whole lot of other stuff. the small talk and intentional use of body language is sort of a means to an end.

so much of this is cultural as well as social. in my city, girls don't often give out their number to strangers. it is more common to date a friend of a friend, someone from church, someone at work, an old friend from school, etc.


***of course, small talk in another context could simply be to pass the time. keep in mind a subset of younger women may give a cold shoulder to men who chat with them quite innocently in a social situation because they have learned to be wary. if men frequently "chat them up" some of the women stop being open to any young men talking to them innocently - at least for a few years until they are in a different demographic. not all young women are like that, and not all young women even get approached at all. but it definitely turns some women jaded.

Haven't seen the video but to me... I would say it was set up.
No offense to alex of course because he is doing a service which deserves credit.
Just saying that if it was a more formal setting with no cameras... it's different because you aren't in that predicament of having to know what you are to say and more often than not your either friend-zoned or blanked.

I have learned to be wary of salespeople in stores coming over to me and chatting me up. I hate it, I hate the small talk in this situation because it does not mean anything. I can tell the salesmen is only after one thing and I walk away. Nothing turns me off more then a salesmen trying to get me to buy something. If I want to buy something, I will find someone myself and ask questions. Otherwise get out of my face and leave me be.

I think women having many men doing same thing fell the same way.

I think in order to just walk up and chat up a girl to get her number, both the guy and girl have to be open to it and have a good atitude about it or it won't work.

It's a lot harder for people with AS to do because unable to read body language, ect.

I was more put off by the setting which wasn't to believable. Who wants to flirt with someone in a doctor's office?

99% of the time the girl asks me out or flirts with me first unfortunately half of the time I do not catch on right away and its too late. When I do catch on its nice .

Stupid video was stupid. It was horrible.