Appearance and Fashion Tips for Asperger's Men
minotaurheadcheese
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Me too.
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
Me, three! I thought, "Awwww, adorable!"
Me four
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
Here's the one piece of advice I have to offer, from a female perspective: Go easy with scented products. A lot of aspies seem to be worried about poor hygiene, and for whatever reason I've been around a lot of insecure people who seem to think wearing a ton of body spray or aftershave is suave or attractive. It's not.
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"And there are days when I would be away . . . Oh, wherever men of my sort used to go, long ago. Wandering on paths that other men have not seen. Behind the sky. On the other side of the rain." -Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell
As a woman, my advice for men concerning their appearance:
Don't try to look just like every other guy in the world. Wear stuff that feels like "you" or attracts the kind of people you are going for (but only if no certain style feels best to you.). Personality is very important, but looks will are important for getting you noticed and remembered. You don't need to have the perfect face shape, etc. I'm just saying, cleanliness and clothing go a long way.
I look on dating sites and most guys look kind of the same to me. Some might be great to talk to or maybe cuddle, but they don't really make me want to look at them or think about doing "stuff" with them...
Yes, some people don't seem to care much for how a person looks. This is just my opinion. Remember that when someone first sees you, you can make a strong, lasting impression on them before you even open your mouth.
I'm glad that there is a female that does agree from a realistic perspective and it's good to see that you find the list to be positive. Some people on this forum and disagree with the list but they are the ones who are going to sit by and let women pass them by because they want to complain without making the effort to change.
Now I'm pretty much at the opposite extreme, I wear "preppy" clothes. You know, Hilfiger, American Eagle, Abercrombie, Polo, all that kinda stuff. I buy it used for quite cheap and good condition at Salvation Army or Goodwill. Honestly, they're quite good clothes. I've noticed the more expensive brand shirts tend to actually fit better than, say, a cheap brand Hanes shirt. Like they make you look less fat kinda fit better.
But, the problem comes. I feel like, people, while just on chance encounters judge me more favorably based upon me wearing "preppy" kinda clothes, and see me more as a "normal person" if that makes sense. So in essence, dressing like that is camouflage. But I feel like the problem is, people make their initial impression of me, but then when they talk with me, I don't like....match, if that makes sense. Like I look pretty "bro" or "preppy" I guess, and then people talk to me, and they're confuzzled because it's not my personality type at all. Have you run into such a problem as this? I don't have any issues with the clothing, and it's genuinely nice clothing and I enjoy wearing it, but like, should I wear "nerdier" clothes so people think I'm a "nerd" or what? Or screw it all, they're just clothes I buy for like a dollar, and they just cover my body. Heh, no idea.
Anyway, if I can add a tip, regarding being confident about your body. I'd say 99% of the time, do NOT wear loose shirts and clothing. This was one of my issues. I'd wear all kinds of loose clothes because I was overweight, but then it just ends up that you look more overweight, as you're trying to cover the fat "lines" with the clothes, but the clothes themselves are loose and add more like, mass to your figure, if that makes sense, and people still see your bodyfat levels in your face anyway. If you do wear looser clothes, I feel the best strategy is have either the top or bottom of you loose or tight, and the other the opposite. IE, looser fitting shirt and then tighter pants, or vice versa. I mean in my case, I can pretty much wear a medium of most brands of shirts, sometimes even a small in some brands, and wearing a large in most any brand looks dumb on me.
EDIT:
Wolf, in regard to proportion, I have a question. I have huge legs and a huge butt, but my upper body is pretty average/small. I'm like a meso-endo somatotype, I guess. Generally I wear 34x30 or 36 jeans, I was in 32s before squatting, I don't believe I'll ever be in 32s again even if I get to a low bodyfat level. And again, usually medium tshirts, sometimes small, almost never large shirts. So should I in your opinion, wear looser jeans or tighter ones? Girls have commented on my huge butt positively, but it's always been something I've felt in the back of my mind like, odd about. And again, loose clothes sometimes make you look fatter, I feel like I fit best in looser 34s and tighter 36s.
If you want to be seen as someone in a fraternity, stick to the brands but if you want to stand out and mature. I would suggest you look into buying a double breasted blazer and looking at examples of men's fashion. Ask men is a great website for fashion advice and it has many articles on how to stand out in a confident and positive way.
Stick to dark, masculine colours such as grey, black and brown. White is fine and maroon suits seem to be fashionable at the moment. The trouble is by wearing the logo shirts and brand, you are limiting yourself to a certain crowd and that will lead people to stereotype you or expect you to be a certain way.
As for the edit, I suggest you wear clothes in proportion to your legs because if you have large legs, some women find that attractive but that depends on how confident you feel about yourself. Definitely wear clothes in proportion to your body, you don't want to wear some overhanging NFL Jersey or Polo shirt.
You could also look into getting a trench coat for formal occasions as that will overhang slightly but still look in proportion to your body.
![Image](http://cdn102.iofferphoto.com/img/item/167/746/991/new-style-dior-men-s-fashion-trench-coat-jacket-6ae30.jpg)
MXH
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i mostly prefer for men to wear what they are comfortable in, and if that is a jacket it could work. but very few people look comfortable all dressed up. other pics of ryan gosling, who i *think* is the guy in the third picture:
![Image](http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/50xZd4V7CXxtz2J7liI8eA--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMwMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/blogs/omgnow/300-RyanGosling-041712-jpg_232956.jpg)
![Image](http://cdn01.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2012/08/ryan-gosling-leaving-new-orleans.jpg)
he's dressed differently in these pics. nothing wrong with that - the ladies seem to like it too. he seems comfortable in a wide variety of outfits.
(p.s. if i went into a guy's bedroom and he had a picture of a man up on his wall i'd wonder if he was batting for the other team. actually, if he had a picture of a female up then i'd think he was kind of sexist. hmmmmm maybe skip putting up pictures of non-family members).
two things.
1- you're taking it too literal. Ryan wouldbe good looking no matter what he wears, some might argue less is better for him. Wolf is talking about average men wanting to convey a sense of confidence and bettering their looks. Those are very different things to argue about.
2- as boo said, why is it sexist only if its a woman? This sounds just like how some women will talk to their boyfriends about dozens of celebrities theyd love o f**k but if the BF as much as looks at another woman they start a huge fight
MXH
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And now two things for wolf.
1- this facade that you build with dressing and acting this way is probably worse than the one from mystery method. Atleast his can come off as playful, yours is likely to come off as a douchebag. Whats next, wear a bluetooth and drive only BMWs?
2- You think im made out of money? Those clothes look expensive as hell. Redoing my wardrobe tto fit to that style would be roughly as much money as buying a used car. But atleast i can drive a car around.
Sweetleaf
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spongy
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Its extremely complicated to give fashion advice that applies to every culture/age so Im afraid to say that you are oversimplifying things.
What Ive done with quite a good amount of success is:
- Find out what socially successful people around my area/age are wearing.
- Find out where they get their clothes.
- Look for something along those lines that stands out from what most people are wearing.
Example: Theres a well known trademark for shoes/comfortable clothes, I found out that they sell( overexpensive) fancy jackets and I made a point to keep track of them until they were on sale(1/4th of its price). Right now whenever Im dressing up people my age notice the jacket and ask me where I bought it...
You have to take chances and things might not always work out but Ive found that its always best to avoid clothing that looks out of place and right now I personally have no intention of meeting girls in a place where suits are expected. Why? Because it attracts a certain kind of people that arent what Im looking for at the moment(also something you should consider how does the person you want to attract usually dresses.)
MXH
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What Ive done with quite a good amount of success is:
- Find out what socially successful people around my area/age are wearing.
- Find out where they get their clothes.
- Look for something along those lines that stands out from what most people are wearing.
Example: Theres a well known trademark for shoes/comfortable clothes, I found out that they sell( overexpensive) fancy jackets and I made a point to keep track of them until they were on sale(1/4th of its price). Right now whenever Im dressing up people my age notice the jacket and ask me where I bought it...
You have to take chances and things might not always work out but Ive found that its always best to avoid clothing that looks out of place and right now I personally have no intention of meeting girls in a place where suits are expected. Why? Because it attracts a certain kind of people that arent what Im looking for at the moment(also something you should consider how does the person you want to attract usually dresses.)
unsurprisingly its the advice most PUAs give. The bad part is that its quite easy to do this the wrong way.
spongy
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What Ive done with quite a good amount of success is:
- Find out what socially successful people around my area/age are wearing.
- Find out where they get their clothes.
- Look for something along those lines that stands out from what most people are wearing.
Example: Theres a well known trademark for shoes/comfortable clothes, I found out that they sell( overexpensive) fancy jackets and I made a point to keep track of them until they were on sale(1/4th of its price). Right now whenever Im dressing up people my age notice the jacket and ask me where I bought it...
You have to take chances and things might not always work out but Ive found that its always best to avoid clothing that looks out of place and right now I personally have no intention of meeting girls in a place where suits are expected. Why? Because it attracts a certain kind of people that arent what Im looking for at the moment(also something you should consider how does the person you want to attract usually dresses.)
unsurprisingly its the advice most PUAs give. The bad part is that its quite easy to do this the wrong way.
Been doing it since I was 14 because my sisters/mother/some class mates started bugging me about my clothes, hadnt heard of pua back then.
It does take some time to finally get it right but when you do get it right its very hard to lose what youve learnt(been avoiding fashion for years(people expected me to be in a way I wasnt and it bugged me) still can find something that suits me whenever theres a huge need to do so)
Well done! This is exactly how I learn how to dress, whenever I want to fit into a certain sub-culture. Let me put it this way: You do NOT want to wear the same kind of clothes that are popular in Texas here in Christchurch, NZ. I had to buy a completely new wardrobe after moving!
MXH
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What Ive done with quite a good amount of success is:
- Find out what socially successful people around my area/age are wearing.
- Find out where they get their clothes.
- Look for something along those lines that stands out from what most people are wearing.
Well, yeah, that was my strategy sorta. The problem with what Wolfheart is suggesting, like wearing business casual kinda things is that like, nobody around here wears that sorta stuff. Oh well, I'll probably keep wearing what I'm wearing. I think another issue too with the business casual stuff, is people will think I'm OLD, as even wearing "preppy" clothes and keeping facial hair, people sometimes guess I'm like 30, even though I'm 21. So God knows what would happen if I wear like... adult clothes. I think it's mostly the way I talk, people are like "Wow he didn't call me bro." Even at like 18 or 19, I got offered complimentary wine at a restaurant, I was there by myself, and wearing a sweater and khaki pants, I guess they figured I was way past 21.
As far as "in fashion" now around here it seems to be Tapout/MMA shirts. And those are lame as all hell. So I refuse to wear them, because they all look terrible.
So maybe as a compromise Wolfheart, add some more button up shirts? Eh?
1- you're taking it too literal. Ryan wouldbe good looking no matter what he wears, some might argue less is better for him. Wolf is talking about average men wanting to convey a sense of confidence and bettering their looks. Those are very different things to argue about.
2- as boo said, why is it sexist only if its a woman? This sounds just like how some women will talk to their boyfriends about dozens of celebrities theyd love o f**k but if the BF as much as looks at another woman they start a huge fight
1. i like real-world men who dress like those other pictures, so you don't have any idea what i am actually talking about.
2. i have no idea what you are talking about because it doesn't relate even slightly to my point. i didn't say i consider him good looking, but it appears he is some kind of idol that other women appreciate. i couldn't care less if other people want to have sex with him.
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he's dressed differently in these pics. nothing wrong with that - the ladies seem to like it too. he seems comfortable in a wide variety of outfits.
(p.s. if i went into a guy's bedroom and he had a picture of a man up on his wall i'd wonder if he was batting for the other team. actually, if he had a picture of a female up then i'd think he was kind of sexist. hmmmmm maybe skip putting up pictures of non-family members).
Seriously??! lol Why putting a pic of a female on a wall would be sexist? A fan of some female celeb maybe?
It's ridiculous but not sexist.
yep, i'm serious. maybe other women don't mind, but i do. he can appreciate those women all he wants in private, but as soon as he is posting those pix up in public where i can see them he has crossed into territory i am not comfortable with. to me, it's sexist as it is objectifying a woman in a chauvinistic way. i consider it just as unacceptable for women to do that.
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