Sexless relationship v/s sex offers.

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The_Face_of_Boo - welcome in the game. Now, do you want to f**k them or what?

Ideally you want to have a long-term female companion who is a platonic friend and get sex from other people when and if you need it. This is what I do but I'm female and have a platonic male friend that I live with and see another person for sex.

This isn't without complications as the other person has led me a merry dance but we do have very good chemistry so I put up with it to a certain extent.

This means I get the best of both worlds ie long term companionship (easily the most important thing to me which I would never jeopardise) and sex with others when I want it. It also means I am not totally beholden to the people I have physical relationships with as they are not the most important entity in my life so have far less hold over me.

From my experience with relationships you do not want one where the other person gets to call all the shots ie you want to be the one in control or you are going to be the controlled one. That's life.

He is so screwed now.

No, I can't do this, either I choose sexual loyalty till marriage or to go promiscuous lifestyle, doing both is cheating. I can't live this double-faced life.



Does your platonic friend know??

Yes he knows. He's my ex and we get on better as friends. It's not cheating for me as we hadn't been in a relationship for over a year when I started seeing the other person.

Your situation depends on how badly you want this person you are in the relationship with. If you can't have sex before marriage how will you know if you are sexually compatible? If she doesn't like to have any physical contact at all it's a sign of a lack of chemistry in my opinion. A person who can take or leave sex is going to find it easy to wait for marriage before having sex so the situation strongly implies a person with a low sex drive to me. It depends on what you want in life really. Do you kiss?

If you have practically no physical intimacy how can it be called a relationship?

Then your " long-term male companion " is simply .... a friend and not really a companion , nothing more.

As if I know s**t about sexual compatibility, anyway your situation is totally different, I can't relate.



I am a virgin so I am totally agnostic to all this.

My understanding of companion is someone who keeps you company - which he does all the time as we live together, as friends. That is a companion as well as a friend as far as I'm concerned.

This is my take, I married the person that asked me to wait till marriage, we had sex before, but the religion/guilt made her decision firmer every time to not do it and insisted on marriage. After Marriage I already lost all interest in her anyway. I married her after 2 years living together and kept believing that everything will just be fine and I will grow to like things, married couples supposedly do. But that is just it, it didn't change, I didn't change, I always knew what I wanted. I ended it because the fairy tale that I was sold felt like BS.

You're so funny I don't know how you don't have girls all over you all the time

I feel that women constantly evaluate men and test them to see if they're good enough, the best they can do, etc. They're constantly evaluating, trying to decide- is he faithful, is he popular, and so on. I think a lot of women do it without thinking about it.

When a woman picks a boyfriend, he has passed her tests. Other women see that and on some level register, 'that other woman did all the work for me and he's already approved as a good catch.' I think that's why women start flirting with guys more once they have a girlfriend.

If she is very religious, and you are not, then this will cause problems in the future. This sex issue is only the tip of the iceberg. You will eventually have completely different goals of life and different views on the world. Unless you manage to never discuss these things, these can cause serious problems.

For example my grandfather and grandmother had a horrible marriage, and most problems were caused by my grandfather being protestant and my grandmother being catholic! Back then this was serious business, but for this girl you are seeing this is also serious business. Don't underestimate it.