DataSage’s Alpha Male Guide to Meeting Women (JULY UPDATE!!)

Post Reply New Topic

I think the biggest obstacles in the way of my finding a girlfriend are:

1) My genes, and
2) My would-be parenting skills.

I've been debating with myself about whether I'm even fit to pass my genes on. It's not a self-esteem issue, it's that I've had to deal with so many problems, including AS. If I got married, had kids, one of my children had AS, and he became miserable with his life, I would never forgive myself.

I actually feel like I have a natural frown. I wish I could smile more often. Sometimes I do smile, but then I feel like there's a "frown" behind my grin. I don't even know why. I don't think women are attracted to men who are simply sad.

Last edited by MikeH106 on 04 Dec 2006, 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is what prostitutes are for. It can get expensive in the long run, so its probably a better idea to get a "f**k friend" or a "knullevenn" as we Norwegians call it

I never had the guts to approach a prostitute with the fear of being discovered by someone I know. Nor do I have the social interaction skills needed to get a "f**k friend".

Sorry. I'm actually considering trying Seroquel now.

please AS guys....don't adhere to this trickery/seduction rubbish... how can women come to appreciate what aspie guys have to offer if we don't differentiate ourselves from cavemen? if instead we try and copy their pitiful shallow behaviour?? let me tell u there are some ladyfolk out there that WILL appreciate something different....and those SAME women will be turned off by trickery/seduction... we are meant to be deep sensitive people...why not use that sensitivity as a positive...

instead of trying to emulate some NT version of an alphamale??

Quality > Quantity

just for those who don't get it....NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.....not all like games etc like others have been saying here

>>I agree with DataSage. An alpha male is not a jerk. An alpha male is the leader of a group. He is in control and most members of his group feel comfortable with this. Females are programmed to seek out the alpha male and guys will try to become the alpha male, or at least wish they could. This is the way most animals are programmed. Aren't humans just one animal species?

i don't think most members of an alpha-male dominated group feel comfortable...they would more likely feel oppressed... also why should we behave like animals? our consciousness gives us the ability to go against our programming...thats the whole point.. we can reprogram ourselves

and...no humans are not one species....there is atleast patriarchal/matriarchal genetic varieties:
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~bemorton/Polari ... apter.html
http://www.cnr.edu/home/bmcmanus/schema.html

Again, there's a lot of misconception here. "Seduction" is a loaded term, but the truth is it has nothing to do with "trickery" or "cohersion." Seduction is a social art, and there is no one way to do it, it's a frame work with which you place on top of your individual personality.

Quality better than quantity? I agree. However, by saying what you just said, you're engaging in social discrimination. Tell me, if you were simply going to disregard a certain group of people because of the way they think (in this case, women who like to "play games"), isn't that just as bad as the people who disregard us for having AS? Sure, not all women like to "play games," but that doesn't mean that the ones that do should get an automatic disqualification--unfortunately, 95% of the female race functions this way. I'm not limiting myself to the 5%, I want a full selection, because I don't plan on making the biggest mistake most guys make in the world, and that's what we call settling.

Oh and just for the record: Alpha Male-ism IS different, that's why women appreciate it so much. Don't believe me? Watch random guys (ESPECIALLY the NT dudes) try to go hit on/pick up girls. It's the saddest/most entertaining thing you'll ever see.

Please, don't knock something when it works in application.



Right, but if we were going to use this logic, then it's safe to say that the majority of males are doing everything wrong relating to women. Why are more marriages resulting in divorce every year? Is it simply a case of bad luck for the male race? A degradation of moral character? Whatever it is, it's not going to change--but individually, you can go against the "programming" of society and consumer culture and change the results for yourself.

Oh yeah, and an update for my guide is coming soon guys. Just sit tight for now.

Yeah, I can relate to a lot of that. For me though I tend to naturally have that ADHD smile to my eyes which even when I'm really out of it at work it only periodically goes away - yeah its nice that it keeps me from coming off as negative but up until like a couple of years ago I still had women looking at me on first glance all too often like I had this disgusting immaturity about me that made them sick, they'd often take a complete u-turn when they got to know what my personality was like but it still was real irritating to get those sorts of flash impressions from those sorts of women and even the types of guys who seem to be flash-impressionate about things.

On the other hand though I notice that at gut level I am real picky about women, not that I want to be I just have something pushing me away from most of them and sadly when I find a woman who I do have that chemistry with its either social trappings, interests, or attitudes kinda keeping the divider up. At other times there have been girls who were more lets say alternative but what sucks is that I have the types of friends and family to where I can't assure she'd be made to feel comfortable and to where they'd probably be laughing at me like "Pfff, I hope you aren't serious about her". Needless to say I do get a lot of at least positive energy from women now but it doesn't exactly help with depression, mainly because of things you mentioned (even having someone wouldn't change those realities) and yeah - I suppose I still haven't met anyone to where I could have what I really want, aka. us really adding something to eachothers lives and strengthening and fueling each other as individuals. Its like what I need is a girl who's almost atypically preppy, ran with the hard crowd back in highschool a bit maybe, but at the same time when I have dated soljah-etts I've felt like I was completely out of place just by how much more life they had under their belts. Its a trippy dilemma all in all I'll tell you that much.

>>Please, don't knock something when it works in application.

my apologies, it's obvious i know not what i im talking about while you have it all figured out

why try and create something new when u can imitate NT seduction techniques...ofcourse forever more 95% of women will continue to play those games becos they have to deal with shallow seduction rather than a real connection...

ooh i can add something...feeding the girl that your preying on 6-10 drinks..and ur seducing will work even better
i mean hell you don't need the conscious mind for what ur after. ie. manipulating traits to appeal to the caveman animus of the female mind

all in all whatever you do....don't be proud to act like an aspie...make sure you try and act as NT as possible, becos its all about selling ur soul to be more successful with more women

goodluck guys..
to shortcut all the reading in the guide just follow this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZSrXsGct6g
(notice how well he does the smile!)

I've spent nearly 3 years doing this stuff--would you simply regard it as a case of luck? Or perhaps you'd like to confront the actual dating gurus on this stuff?



There are no "NT seduction techniques," stop trying to categorize stuff along the autism spectrum. The only difference between an NT and an aspie learning this stuff is that the aspie guys are going to have a tough time with the non-verbal communication, which I'm going to address in my next update. The whole point of this stuff is that you can find a real connection with a woman, and connect on things that both of you have a passion for. I would not be sitting here telling you it works if it didn't, considering I did this all on my own accord.



If you're a frat boy, yes.



Now you're just putting words in my mouth. "Manipulating traits?" What the hell are you talking about? There is no manipulation, there is only change. If this was about "manipulating traits," then it would be impossible to go any further with a girl after getting her phone number. First impressions are huge, second impressions are genuine.

I go to college, bro. If I didn't need a concious mind to find what I'm looking for, I would've been married by now.



This is absurd. You talk of AS as if it's a political party we belong to or something. This is not about acting NT, SINCE NT GUYS DON'T ACT LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. If anything, we with AS are at an advantage for making these social changes because we have the extreme version of a male brain, our thought process is already in place, it's just changing self-esteem and your general outlook on women.

The only thing you sell your soul to is your shortcomings when you can't come to terms with the fact changes need to be made to improve your life. Until then, aspie males will continue to be frustrated in this society we live in, and the depression will never end--that applies to not just dating, but their social development as a whole.

I think that DataSage is not saying that we should approach every date in the "alpha male" role, but just for the first date to get her interested in you. Then the relationship is not just you trying to "hook up" with her until you figure out she is not interested in you. If you get her interested in you first, then you can stop doing the "alpha male" things and because you were talking about something that happened right then and there ("small talk"), you are not just trying to seduce her (or you would be talking about popular culture, women's rights, agree with everything she said, respond in ways you think will make her like you, or something to try to get her to do whatever). After you get that initial interest started with the help of the role (the interest augmented by the "alpha male" role, not based solely on it... the role doesn't help you figure out what to say, just how to act, which is a problem for most aspies and NTs trying to find a girlfriend), you will have created enough of a "connection" to not need it anymore or at least learned something for the next relationship.

Also if you find the role fun, maybe that's how you should portray yourself for that one person you initially did it to, just to see how to make it work, if you really like it and might change your personality to match it, or how to modify it for the next girlfriend (don't think the first is going to be the one you marry, statistics are against that [just guessing]). If she doesn't like it, she won't go on more dates with you, but if she does, then what harm is there in the act? After that first girlfriend (who you asked questions to and learned about girls points of views from), you will be better equipped for the next and might decide not to do the "alpha male" thing; the main point of this being we do not know what to do / what actions to make, so why not give it a shot and learn from it (also see if girls like the role)? At the very least, you can break up with her and do what you feel is "correct" for the entire relationship with the next girl.

Someone asked what women think of this 'guide'?

Well, I'm only one woman, but I can tell you my overall reaction to it.

It's a bit too pat and controlling. The one good thing about it is, it demythologises the person you are chasing after, a bit. This may be good to the extent that it relaxes you, the pursuer. If you are too nervous and tense, you won't be able to chat, express yourself, or think of what you would like to say, as well as you might if relaxed.

So relax and be yourself may be trite advice, but, it's a good place to start.

As far as never letting her end the conversation, and things like that - that type of thing eventually leads to trouble. No woman likes being controlled to that extent, and sooner or later it will be obvious she's not allowed to talk freely or when she likes (even to this small degree).

I'm an NT woman and so this is from that perspective - perhaps AS women are different - and also of course, this is in general. But the thing women love most is when men LISTEN. That doesn't mean overdo it and become her Dear Abby (Abner?). But be interested in what she has to say.

Most women respond best to simply being treated like a human being, rather than a quarry. But yes, don't act too desperate or sweaty/nervous. That doesn't impress women usually.

Hope that helped.

"Rambling on!"

F*** you!
It's called TALKING. Making conversation.

I hate having my "balls broken". I hate people who have to turn friendly interactions into some sort of oneupmanship game. I have enough problems with NTs thinking that it is a good idea to make people feel small under the guise of "friendly teasing" without AS people starting it too.
That being said, I would have laughed if I were in the bowling situation.

If a guy was always the one to end conversations with me, I'd most likely think one of two things:
1. That he did it out of rudeness.

2. That he wasn't all that interested in me.

Either way, I'd lose interest and move out.

The thing I did like about the guide is the idea of having confidence.

what i've seen is that most women do most things unconsciously... they like to think that "yeah i want this, i want that", but their bodies have a mind of their own. this is why there is very little concordance between what women say and what women mean/do...

i think the whole point of the seduction thing, is to completely ignore the conscious sham exterior and go straight to the woman's subconscious.

when they say yes, they mean no, when they say no they mean maybe, when they say maybbe they mean yes... put all of that into a shaker, shake it until your blue, then roll it like dice... and what you get is pretty much what you can expect from women....!

Yeah! Where have the women gone?


I think its because (subconsciously maybe) they are caught up in double standards. The sham exterior is because they don't want to be thought of as a slut.

above you, they posted 2nd and 3rd latest before you...

I somewhat agree with that... so many say they want "nice" boyfriends and end up dating "bad boys" (I posted in that topic [why do girls date bad boys] that this guide seemed like it dealt with the topic and wondered how girls would respond to it)

I think that DataSage's advise is just that... after she wants you subconsciously, then you can get her to want you consciously and so she's like "I don't really know why I asked him for his number, but I really like that he's so smart and reserved... etc. etc."

DataSage made this as a "Guide to Meeting Women" and he also says in his first paragraph "maybe I can make this into an all encompassing guide one day, concerning not just approaching women, but also what do when you’re dating them." I think alot of people read his first post and assume he's talking about the entire relationship, which I don't. If he was talking about the entire relationship, he wouldn't encourage guys to put on an act, since that won't last the entire relationship or will cause it to end (but it wouldn't be hard to do it for the entire first "meeting") and his title isn't "Guide to Getting a Girlfriend and Everything to do With the Relationship Afterwards".

That being said, Who_Am_I, would you find it intriguing if a guy shows interest in you and doesn't make sure he stays until you are done talking to him on the first meeting (as DataSage is saying to do), or am I somehow misinterpreting how most guys aproach girls on the first meeting?

Last edited by Mystic on 16 Dec 2006, 11:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^That's right Mystic, and I'll be elaborating on that much more as I get into the steady dating aspect of seduction.

And yeah, it doesn't matter if girls come in here and endorse or slam this guide, because everything that I'm talking about here appeals to their subconcious needs and desires. Girls will always say they want a "nice" guy, but closer observation and some social common sense really tell us otherwise. As aggravating as it is, it's not their fault... they're just hardwired that way, and we as males have to deal with it whether we like it or not.

I know I've promised you guys an update, and it will be coming soon! I've been swamped with finals and papers this week, so once my break rolls around, I can get cracking on this stuff again.

I am not sure it matters at this point, but let me second some of what was said; it's about approaching women, being yourself, being comfortable, and leaving them wanting more. When I first read this guide I saw nothing wrong or dishonest, and nothing encouraging men to be wrong or dishonest, and was frankly surprised at the vehement responses. I believe that proves the point that 2/3rds of what we see exists behind the eyes. People are viewing the material having already reacted to the title "alpha-male" and no longer seeing any possibility of good from it.

Here's some free advice; CHILL OUT, IGNORE THE PART THAT SAYS ALPHA MALE, LOOK AT IT AS A GUIDE TO MAKING A POSITIVE (AND GENUINE) FIRST IMPRESSION, and then read it again. If you feel yourself reacting emotionally towards some part of it, relax and ask yourself why it is offensive to you. Bring that to the table rather than you gut-reactions of what you are assuming it means. Then we can discuss it without the whole "you're wrong, I'm right" garbage that so many forums are full of.

I give it five stars, and I hope some of you younger guys take heed; that's golden advice he's laid down for you. Some people want money to tell you the same thing. Kudoes, Datasage!