Don't you think that it might be better for you...
Eh, sorry for being weird.
I won't ask again.
I'm sorry if i offended you.
Just ignore me.
I am physically attracted to male neurotypicals. I do have a type. I cannot change this, nor would I wish to. It is that way.
To explain, I certainly have a rapport with Aspies - Wrong Planet Aspies are my friends. But for me, they are like brother/sister friends! It wouldn't be conceivable for me to mate with one, in so far as I know. I like older men and, for inexplicable reason(s), I like them uber neurotypical. Opposites attract? Well, maybe. But I do like those men with interests close to my own.
Oh dear, a moderator that doesn't support neurodiversity? You need to stop living in the mindset of NT and AS.
What does physical attraction have to do with a neurological state? The two have no correlation and you shouldn't be so quick to place people into two boxes, it's narrow minded and rigid. People on the spectrum are individuals and I think you are quite confused if you consider anyone on this forum a brother or sister as everyone has different values, physical traits, perspectives, views, beliefs and abilities defined by social conditioning or upbringing.
Sorry, I couldn't figure out if that answer was aimed at me.
Fair enough.
I didn't come here to bother anyone, just to get some answers.
I'm not looking for love. I'm not looking to expose anyone's knicker draw.
I guess this is not the right forum for me.
I'm very sensitive with depressive tendencies and being with someone so blind to my feelings would be the end of me.
An aspie man dating an aspie woman imo is like the blind leading the blind.
This is a very potent answer to a question I am not sure I gave.
But thanks for opening up.
I think there might be many people that had problems with understanding your answer..
I suppose it is just not aspies that have difficulties in understanding relationships.
Since you are asking for gender, I am a girl, by the way.
answer the OP.
I did not ask you specifically for your gender. It was just that one person.
I won't do it again. I can see it caused a whole amount of trouble.
I think I made a big mistake.
It shall not happen again.
I have gone out with plenty of city NT girls, I can tell you that it doesn't work for me, especially when from the UK or US.
There are a lot of expectations, lack of compromises and understanding on their part about men (expecting each to be the same, then complaining when they are not). This is more true with an Asperger's male. Some problems I have found:
*They think physical intimacy must lead to sex and think there is a problem with your anatomy or her if you do not want to "go there" simply for want of some minor physical intimacy.
*I've been expected to read minds. I've had varying success at this.
*An expectation of me to keep up with the guys their friends are dating.
*Lifestyle choices wishes of me that are out of my comfort zone or long term capability.
*And any that have accepted me regardless of the above have been as thick as 2 sheets of wood.
It's not without trying. And there is nothing particularly wrong with their expectations, if you were an NT city boy. But for all intents and purposes I'm an Aspie in the city and with that realization I am now tired of trying to play the NT game. I'm happier being single or waiting it out for someone who on a personal level can relate to me better.
Ok, I shall go back to the woodshed. Sorry for being so ignorant. I think I've been beaten down enough.
Let me go away and lick my wounds, and when I learn a bit more, maybe I shall ask a more intelligent question.
Yet they are all autistic to some degree.
http://www.amazon.com/Field-Guide-Earth ... B004EPYUV2
This book explains the differences between the NT and AS neurology, and gives an idea why it is and will always be usually hard for the AS people to "succeed" or fluently communicate in the Neurotypical world due to the inherent neurological differences and their effects on the social life. I'd give up meeting NTs completely if it wasn't so hard to find AS groups in these more remote areas.
Thanks for the info. I will check it out. Cheers.
G.
This is just such an honest answer, it was all I was looking for.
Thanks a lot.
Your words mean a lot to me.
Thanks.
OH I am sorry I missed your answer.
You hit all the right spots.
I was not looking for a relationship, but you are amazing.
You give me faith.
I think you are the best.
I really like you!
OH I am sorry I missed your answer.
You hit all the right spots.
I was not looking for a relationship, but you are amazing.
You give me faith.
I think you are the best.
I really like you!
thank you, i do try.
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on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
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outofplace
Veteran
Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux
I have never had a relationship with either, so my opinion is based more on personal analysis than anything else. I am borderline AS/ADHD and can usually get along with most NTs quite well. That being said, there is a communication barrier between me and most people because of my obsessive interests and speech patterns. I think that only an AS woman or an NT woman of extraordinary patience could ever deal with me in a long term relationship. It would probably be easier for me to relate to someone with mild AS though as I think they would have more patience for my oddness because of their oddness. I also tend to think that aspies need to learn each other and can't just intuitively connect like NTs can. An NT woman likely would not have the patience for this learning process whereas an aspie would because she would be doing the same thing I was. Thus, the connection between two aspies has the possibility of actually being stronger than an NT one if for no other reason than they will take the time to get to know each other intimately rather than fall into a superficial relationship based purely upon the emotions of the moment or sexual attraction.
_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic
I have gone out with plenty of city NT girls, I can tell you that it doesn't work for me, especially when from the UK or US.
There are a lot of expectations, lack of compromises and understanding on their part about men (expecting each to be the same, then complaining when they are not). This is more true with an Asperger's male. Some problems I have found:
*They think physical intimacy must lead to sex and think there is a problem with your anatomy or her if you do not want to "go there" simply for want of some minor physical intimacy.
*I've been expected to read minds. I've had varying success at this.
*An expectation of me to keep up with the guys their friends are dating.
*Lifestyle choices wishes of me that are out of my comfort zone or long term capability.
*And any that have accepted me regardless of the above have been as thick as 2 sheets of wood.
It's not without trying. And there is nothing particularly wrong with their expectations, if you were an NT city boy. But for all intents and purposes I'm an Aspie in the city and with that realization I am now tired of trying to play the NT game. I'm happier being single or waiting it out for someone who on a personal level can relate to me better.
Ok, I shall go back to the woodshed. Sorry for being so ignorant. I think I've been beaten down enough.
Let me go away and lick my wounds, and when I learn a bit more, maybe I shall ask a more intelligent question.
Hi, young_god. I think you took my answer a bit too personally and there isn't a need to make me look like the bad guy beating down on a hapless victim. It wasn't an attack but a post to let you know about my experience and personal opinion. I simply thought this was put across as an idea by someone who hasn't dated NT women, and it was in no way meant to be offensive. I was sharing my own experiences and it only covers me and no one else. It can get a little heated in L&D so it's best to develop a thick skin even when asking questions in here rather than playing a victim early. That doesn't mean you have to disregard everyone else it just means when you make suggestions or share opinions in a public place, others will do the same and you have to prepare for it. Lastly, welcome nice to discuss this with you.
An aspie man dating an aspie woman imo is like the blind leading the blind.
seriously and that never happens!
Her husband is Jerry Seinfeld
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Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob
I have gone out with plenty of city NT girls, I can tell you that it doesn't work for me, especially when from the UK or US.
There are a lot of expectations, lack of compromises and understanding on their part about men (expecting each to be the same, then complaining when they are not). This is more true with an Asperger's male. Some problems I have found:
*They think physical intimacy must lead to sex and think there is a problem with your anatomy or her if you do not want to "go there" simply for want of some minor physical intimacy.
*I've been expected to read minds. I've had varying success at this.
*An expectation of me to keep up with the guys their friends are dating.
*Lifestyle choices wishes of me that are out of my comfort zone or long term capability.
*And any that have accepted me regardless of the above have been as thick as 2 sheets of wood.
It's not without trying. And there is nothing particularly wrong with their expectations, if you were an NT city boy. But for all intents and purposes I'm an Aspie in the city and with that realization I am now tired of trying to play the NT game. I'm happier being single or waiting it out for someone who on a personal level can relate to me better.
Ok, I shall go back to the woodshed. Sorry for being so ignorant. I think I've been beaten down enough.
Let me go away and lick my wounds, and when I learn a bit more, maybe I shall ask a more intelligent question.
There was nothing wrong with the question!The areas that are highlighted are areas I found to be problematic for me in relations with most nts. Here my thought on this is that a aspie girl might understand you better but any relation requires work and compromise. Also there are less women with aspergers and there for not enough to go around. I was told I wasn't being supportive with the death of of my wife's father when I thought I was doing it well. A woman with aspergers would understand that holding her hand and giving hugs holding her till she went to sleep is being supportive even if you couldn't think of what to say. Or at lest I think they would understand it.
Hi, young_god. I think you took my answer a bit too personally and there isn't a need to make me look like the bad guy beating down on a hapless victim.
Hey man, if you are a man ? j/k
I didn't mean to play the victim, bit sensitive that day/hour.
I feel fine now. Sorry if I did take it too personally.
It's nice talking to you too. At this level of deep personal stuff, where people don't really know each other, I guess things can get confused.
Anyway, I put you on my 'friends' list. So no hard feelings from me.
Cheers.