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Social Value Tests: Women's ways of assessing men

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TM
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17 Sep 2012, 6:57 am

BlueMax wrote:

There's lots of threads dedicated to male pick-up artist crap too. The two manipulating games are very, very different based on our typical genders... Pity these people waste so much time and effort into these ridiculous "games".


Human beings do not seem to value that which comes easy. I.E in many cases that which is hard to obtain/do is valued higher than that which cost you literally nothing. Thus, someone who fawns over you (regardless of gender) is less attractive to you than someone who has standards for you.

Would life be a lot easier if people just didn't play any form of games and practiced radical honesty every minute of their lives? Of course it would, but our society would be much different as well.

The interesting thing is that these "games" seem innate to human beings, in fact to quite a few animals around the world. Think of it as humanity's version of a mating game.



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17 Sep 2012, 7:12 am

When two human beings copulate, their auras blend in a manner that only sex can create.
This is special, really special. And considering we are part animal and part intergalactic, these copulations should only exist under very special conditions....
Allowing our animal side to become dominant will mostly precipitate earthly outcomes
I have seen many victims of the 'fark without a kiss' school of hard knocks



1000Knives
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17 Sep 2012, 8:19 am

Sidmor wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
I don't really see how an AS/AS relationship would be a guaranteed success either


Never said that it's guaranteed, only that on average such relationships could potentially be more successful.

One example of our differences is our thinking patterns. The Autists think visually, like animals do, not verbally/symbolically like the Neurotypicals. This is why we usually get along with animals better than the Neurotypicals do, and feel increased empathy towards them. Similarly, we have potential of getting along with other Autists, and understand them better, naturally and fluently.

The other neurological features, such as our relative independence of thought and reluctance to "follow the herd" may indeed cause conflicts when two Autists meet, but finding a compatible Autistic partner has the potential to cause much stronger a bond than what one (Autist) could manage with a seemingly compatible Neurotypical.


I'm not much of a visual thinker, my NVLD makes me an extreme verbal thinker. But I don't really think I understand autists more than I do NTs, even people with NVLD I've met I don't totally understand or agree with their ideas all the time. People if they try to mutually understand eachother will remain friends, if they don't, they won't.



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17 Sep 2012, 8:26 am

A_floating_moon wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
If I meet a guy that is manipulative and makes inmature tricks to discover if I'm mad about him, I ignore him, I would NEVER do the same to him, I just ignore him. I don't like this kind of people.

If you manipulate in return, then you can't complain when the others do it to you next time, as you are playing and perpetuating the same game.


^ Yes.

I also dislike how the post seems to imply all women do this and men don't.


I very much agree; I find this post offensive.



DialAForAwesome
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17 Sep 2012, 8:28 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Women don't want to be abused but they want a guy that has an opinion.


Just sounds like you're saying that good guys don't have an opinion. Basically, if they don't fall into doing this crap, they are spineless. I hope I'm reading this wrong. :S


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Wolfheart
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17 Sep 2012, 8:48 am

sudowoodo wrote:
A_floating_moon wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
If I meet a guy that is manipulative and makes inmature tricks to discover if I'm mad about him, I ignore him, I would NEVER do the same to him, I just ignore him. I don't like this kind of people.

If you manipulate in return, then you can't complain when the others do it to you next time, as you are playing and perpetuating the same game.


^ Yes.

I also dislike how the post seems to imply all women do this and men don't.


I very much agree; I find this post offensive.


Nowhere have I implied that all women do, I haven't used the word ask our said that men don't play games. However men are less likely to care about social value and attraction based on status.



BanjoGirl
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17 Sep 2012, 9:23 am

A_floating_moon wrote:

^ Yes.

I also dislike how the post seems to imply all women do this and men don't.


Yes, that's the reason why I posted. I read this:

Wolfheart wrote:
Quick Definition: Often unconscious (and sometimes conscious) tests that women throw at men in order to quickly determine their social status. It is a more specific instance of a “congruence test.” You may also refer to them as Social value or dominant tests.

[...]

Key: Remember it is woman's natural instinct to try to get you to play putty in her hands, in other words this is to determine your social value. Once she established that you will play putty in her hands, she will lose attraction. Realize this, analyse the situation and act accordingly in a way that puts her in her place.
[...]


This constant analysis of "women brains" is very popular in the NT world.

I abandoned the NT forums I participated because a lot of guys there were always saying this kind of things and I get tired. Doesn't matter how you are, if you are a woman, you are "this or that". What about dating a PERSON and not a gender?

About the "game recomendation to guys"...

I have always been "hard gamed". I know perfectly how it works. Gamers don't care if you are a good woman or a bad one, if you are manipulative or not, if you are a woman and he want to have sex, he will game you.

There are different techniques. Saddly I learnt a lot in one of my dates, he tried four games with me to have sex, very hard ones. Obvious rejection (and I felt nausea later, he used very hard games). By the way, I discovered he had a girlfriend two weeks later.

This is what gamers are and how they work.


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Wolfheart
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17 Sep 2012, 9:29 am

BanjoGirl wrote:
Yes, that's the reason why I posted. I read this:

Wolfheart wrote:
Quick Definition: Often unconscious (and sometimes conscious) tests that women throw at men in order to quickly determine their social status. It is a more specific instance of a “congruence test.” You may also refer to them as Social value or dominant tests.

[...]

Key: Remember it is woman's natural instinct to try to get you to play putty in her hands, in other words this is to determine your social value. Once she established that you will play putty in her hands, she will lose attraction. Realize this, analyse the situation and act accordingly in a way that puts her in her place.
[...]


This constant analysis of "women brains" is very popular in the NT world.

I abandoned the NT forums I participated because a lot of guys there were always saying this kind of things and I get tired. Doesn't matter how you are, if you are a woman, you are "this or that". What about dating a PERSON and not a gender?

About the "game recomendation to guys"...

I have always been "hard gamed". I know perfectly how it works. Gamers don't care if you are a good woman or a bad one, if you are manipulative or not, if you are a woman and he want to have sex, he will game you.

There are different techniques. Saddly I learnt a lot in one of my dates, he tried four games with me to have sex, very hard ones. Obvious rejection (and I felt nausea later, he used very hard games). By the way, I discovered he had a girlfriend two weeks later.

This is what gamers are and how they work.


You make a fair point but what I'm saying is that if more decent AS guys understand this type of gaming and manipulation, they won't fall prone or be vulnerable to it and when they do attract a nice girl, they will know enough not to take advantage but still maintain a healthy interest with flirting.



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17 Sep 2012, 9:36 am

Wolfheart wrote:

You make a fair point but what I'm saying is that if more decent AS guys understand this type of gaming and manipulation, they won't fall prone or be vulnerable to it and when they do attract a nice girl, they will know enough not to take advantage but still maintain a healthy interest with flirting.


Yes, that's what a lot of people deserves, a healthy flirting.

I hope decent AS guys meet nice girls to date, obviously. I want the same to decent nice girls too. Nice people doesn't deserve any kind of manipulation.


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17 Sep 2012, 11:39 am

BanjoGirl wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:

You make a fair point but what I'm saying is that if more decent AS guys understand this type of gaming and manipulation, they won't fall prone or be vulnerable to it and when they do attract a nice girl, they will know enough not to take advantage but still maintain a healthy interest with flirting.


Yes, that's what a lot of people deserves, a healthy flirting.

I hope decent AS guys meet nice girls to date, obviously. I want the same to decent nice girls too. Nice people doesn't deserve any kind of manipulation.


Stop being so naive and realize that nice people, men and women get manipulated and take advantage of in the world. This thread is about developing assertiveness so guys can intercept these types of games.



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17 Sep 2012, 11:53 am

Wolfheart wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:

You make a fair point but what I'm saying is that if more decent AS guys understand this type of gaming and manipulation, they won't fall prone or be vulnerable to it and when they do attract a nice girl, they will know enough not to take advantage but still maintain a healthy interest with flirting.


Yes, that's what a lot of people deserves, a healthy flirting.

I hope decent AS guys meet nice girls to date, obviously. I want the same to decent nice girls too. Nice people doesn't deserve any kind of manipulation.


Stop being so naive and realize that nice people, men and women get manipulated and take advantage of in the world. This thread is about developing assertiveness so guys can intercept these types of games.


Nice people is not the equivalent of idiot. I was never manipulated and I started all my dates being nice.

WTF?


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TM
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17 Sep 2012, 12:22 pm

BanjoGirl wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:

You make a fair point but what I'm saying is that if more decent AS guys understand this type of gaming and manipulation, they won't fall prone or be vulnerable to it and when they do attract a nice girl, they will know enough not to take advantage but still maintain a healthy interest with flirting.


Yes, that's what a lot of people deserves, a healthy flirting.

I hope decent AS guys meet nice girls to date, obviously. I want the same to decent nice girls too. Nice people doesn't deserve any kind of manipulation.


Stop being so naive and realize that nice people, men and women get manipulated and take advantage of in the world. This thread is about developing assertiveness so guys can intercept these types of games.


Nice people is not the equivalent of idiot. I was never manipulated and I started all my dates being nice.

WTF?


How do you know that you were never manipulated?



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17 Sep 2012, 1:01 pm

And once again I guess I am not a female....since that makes no sense to me. I hate when I am trying to make plans with someone and they are busy.......even worse if they are just pretending to be. But I guess if most females like that kind of thing so be it.


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17 Sep 2012, 1:02 pm

Surfman wrote:
When two human beings copulate, their auras blend in a manner that only sex can create.


. . . . Their Auras?. . . Really?


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17 Sep 2012, 1:08 pm

I doubt that anything really genuine could come out of advice like this. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who will just buy into this mind game BS just because it's what everyone else does. It gets to be even worse when people assume I've been playing games with them when I've had no intentions of that or even any idea they felt that way at all. The idea of a relationship would seem pretty pointless to me if you were always playing games with them and never let your guard down.


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17 Sep 2012, 1:19 pm

TM wrote:
BlueMax wrote:

There's lots of threads dedicated to male pick-up artist crap too. The two manipulating games are very, very different based on our typical genders... Pity these people waste so much time and effort into these ridiculous "games".


Human beings do not seem to value that which comes easy. I.E in many cases that which is hard to obtain/do is valued higher than that which cost you literally nothing. Thus, someone who fawns over you (regardless of gender) is less attractive to you than someone who has standards for you.

Would life be a lot easier if people just didn't play any form of games and practiced radical honesty every minute of their lives? Of course it would, but our society would be much different as well.

The interesting thing is that these "games" seem innate to human beings, in fact to quite a few animals around the world. Think of it as humanity's version of a mating game.


When put that way, you have a very good point! Most animals DO have some kind of ritual where the males or females do something... singing, dancing, impressing with their genitals, presenting gifts, creating a good home... wow.
Y'know... if you think about it, humans are the only species that do the mating rituals of ALL the other species combined!

That really changes my perspective... I may have to play this FLIRTING game after all and NOT see it as trickery (or even RAPE as some people do!) Note I said flirting, not trickery, PUA, games, lies or other manipulating BS - just healthy, fun flirting.

Of course, staying true to myself, I make it no secret that I prefer to mate for life - not just one season. ;)