Why do you feel the need to quit trying?

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I never really tried terribly hard in the first place, so I never really quit. If some other girl I like comes my way, I'll hopefully eventually work up to like, not being an idiot. But, as nice as it seems to have a girlfriend, there's different priorities in my life.

I could wake up in the morning and decide I need a million dollars for whatever reason. Could I achieve it? Probably. But why? I don't really need a million dollars. I basically don't think the work I'd put into the quest of getting a million dollars would be worth the effort and other things I'd have to sacrifice. And so it's the same with women.

Then again, I'm not saying this from a terribly bad position. I'm "out" often and around quite a few females (just haven't gotten to know very many) and I'm not bad looking and I've got suspicions a few people like me. But, a lot is finding a girl that's actually compatible with me in some fashion, as I'm fairly religious and can't just "hook up" and have casual sex with a zillion different girls. Unfortunately my problem in relationships, even just platonically, isn't the first impression of me, it's once they get to know me or be around me, they think I'm too weird or something. In that regard, it's very easy to stop trying, as insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result.

As I said, in life in general, we have differing goals. I used to really want a fast car. I wanted to build something with like 500hp. Basically have a streetable race car. That was one of my goals in life. Now I don't really care. I prefer to put my resources toward other things now. I might come back to having a fast car one day, but for now, my resources are going other places because those other places bring me less grief than cars did.

I certainly agree with the idea that when you say you can't do something, you can give up and never bother trying. But it's a simplistic homily that does not hold up under too much scrutiny. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. I reached a point where I decided that it wasn't worth continuing to pursue relationships because I had a tendency to sabotage them. It's possible that I will form a relationship in the future, but I'm not counting on it. There are more important battles in my life.

It's kind of like the idea of breaking the speed of light. There is a law of physics that says you can't. Some are still looking for ways to bypass that limitation and it's possible that one day there will be a way to cross huge stretches of space faster than light. But in the mean time more physics will be accomplished by recognizing and accepting that limitation and pursuing other sides of physics that are more likely to yield results.

One thing to consider; things look an awful lot simpler at 19 than they do at 47. I never had a sense that I could handle dating and yet I kept trying until I hit about 40. I kept saying "I can!" And the world kept saying "In your dreams, you dope." I certainly haven't ruled it out, but I have enough sense to know that there are other things that are more important to me. There are things that are a practical impossibility. That doesn't mean you shouldn't stop trying to achieve those goals if you really want them, but it is wise to be realistic about the problems you face. And if the benefits are not outweighing the negatives, it's best to pursue some other goal.

That's life. You can fight hard and still lose. If the potential gains are worth it, then by all means, keep fighting, but it's stupid to fight a battle that doesn't get you anything worthwhile.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A[/youtube]
How I feel after your post.

The meaning of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

When you've got a laundry list of problems like me, there is barely a use in trying. I keep trying anyway for some stupid reason. I'm stubborn, just like my mom. But the world keeps telling me the same thing that jagatai said. "In your dreams, you dope!" And yeah while it sounds true that I've apparently had a couple girls attracted to me, one of them I'm not attracted to and the other was just playing me all along seems like.

personaly I don't care much for dating. Most women I talk too are just boring anyways.
But if a women wants to talk to me and wants to hang out. Im all cool for it.
But I not going to waste my time

it's hard to find out specifically why i'm getting rejected since girls will never directly say to a guy's face why they rejected him

It is not that hard. She doesn't think you have a high enough social status relative to her social status and/or she doesn't think that she can show you off as a trophy to her friends. It is as simple as that. Women are not particularly complicated.

Owning your own business. Being the boss of an organization. Being the leader of a small group of people. Being famous. Living in a fancy house. Driving an expensive or flashy car. Wearing clothing that conveys a coherent and strong identity that stands out ("sexy stereotype").