how to get a women to notice me

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Hey no reason to get mad. I agree that women who still expect "special" rights like men paying everything are f*cking idiots, especially if they want equality on the other hand.

And no, it didn't have to do with the way I approached the guy, thanks for indirectly calling me slu*ty though.

Rather than try to rewrite the rules of the game, it might be easier simply to learn the rules and play by them.

Things may well change - but, here, now, men usually do "make the first move."

There are a few men whose first move is almost always welcomed: these are the good-looking, physically fit, and prosperous looking men. (Good looks are no more a handsome man's fault than bad looks are an ugly man's: it's the genetic "luck of the draw.") If you are not one of these lucky men - and chances are that you are not - you need to compensate - simple as that.

You are ahead in that you keep yourself fit. That goes a long way. But there are other things that you can do.

Always, the first question is - "To which woman do I want to be attractive?"

And let us start w/honesty: looks are important - to both men and women but moreso to men. If you are serious about this - honesty is very important. Do not pretend to yourself (or even others) that you could fall in love with a troll if she had a sense of humor - unless, of course, you really do find trolls attractive; some do, and there is nothing wrong w/that ...

Please, do yourself a favor and cross off all the women who would not look at you twice. You are not a character in a Hollywood movie but a real person, living in the real world, which can be "cold and cruel." (It can also be warm and kind, so do not despair - just be realistic.)

If you are a 6 on that infamous scale of looks, do not aim for a 9 (unless you are rich; then you can have a trainload of 10's who are in love w/the bulge of - your wallet).

Once you have a good - and I mean good - picture of the type of woman that you want to meet, figure out whete you might find her.

I myself could never be attracted to a half-dressed fashion plate whose main concern is getting the newest cellphone with a cute ringtone. I like women who share my interests. Such women are to be found in libraries and bookstores and at seminars - not in bars, nightclubs, "hot spots." I don't go to such places; I go to - libraries, bookstores, and seminars. In such places, I find that "Hello" and a comment about this or that book or about the speaker are very effective "opening lines." And, if I don't meet a woman, I enjoy having gone to the place - important point: get desperate out of your system! Talk w/women - not at them. Women are people, too, you know - and they don't like being treated as objects (unless it's a business transaction w/some sugar daddy - is that what you want to be?)

Important also is to ask yourself what the woman you are looking for is looking for. Then be that. I want a woman w/a brain. Such a woman wants a man w/a brain. I worry more about the quality of my brain than the cost of my clothes. Neat and clean and tidy are good enough. No matter what, being calm and polite helps me.

Never try to seem what you are not. I am not loud and pushy. I am quiet and passive. Most women out in trendy places are not looking for me - indeed, would never see me if I were right in front of them. But women in bookstores seem to like me very much - and just maybe that has to do w/the fact that I like them very much.

This.

Get an image of a guy that the ladies swoon over, and emulate him a bit. The quoted post pretty much has that covered though.

Also, if it helps, you might try small talk with a woman in a friendly manner, without the expectation that you're going to ask them out. Don't worry about being friend zoned, the purpose is to look approachable to the other women in the place. And who knows, the woman you have a friendly conversation with may just decide she wants a date with you. In any case, it makes yourself look attractive without having to overtly ask anyone out.

Getting their attention is one thing. Keeping it is quite another.

Getting and keeping the kind of attention that you can build a lasting and loving relationship on is well nigh hit-or-miss!

Well he only asked how to get the attention. That said, I get initial looks from women, then I open my mouth and start like talking about my favorite Japanese pop group Yellow Magic Orchestra, and how I'd like to bore my Toyota 5MGE engine to 2.9L so it'd be a totally square bore to stroke ratio, then the women stop talking to me for some reason.

Can I point something out here? This is a site for people with autism and other developmental disorders, a site on which a common topic is having to emulate NTs and the great deal of stress it causes... I imagine keeping up any kind of front for anyone is going to be stressful as all hell. Think about the woman... you're essentially lying to her. You're acting like something you're not. How do you think she's gonna feel when you can't keep up the front anymore, and it all comes crashing down? How would YOU feel being on the other end of this? How would you like to think you know someone and then one day they just change from dr. jekyl into mr. hyde? Am I the ONLY sane person around here? Jesus christ, people... Put yourself in the other person's shoes before you decide to do something stupid like this...

Aspies are constantly complaining, ALSO, about how fake NTs are all the time... And now here we are discussing being fake to pick up girls. So, am I the only one who genuinely wants a nice, REAL relationship with someone who truly loves me for me, and not some BS act I'm putting on? Feel free to listen to this terrible advice, but don't come crying to me when she leaves your ass because she discovered how full of s**t you are.

Eh, dressing nice doesn't mean much. I don't even do it for girls, I do it so I don't get profiled as like, a school shooter type person or something. I used to wear black/darker clothes, and it made people think I was "freaky" so I instead decided to start wearing brightly colored preppy clothes, with pretty much zero change in my attitude at all, and then suddenly I became less "freaky" to people. Having good hygiene is also good. There were times in my life I'd go weeks without brushing my teeth, shower like twice a week, etc, it's better to have good hygiene. As far as the goatee, I have one, too, the main thing is just make sure it's trimmed fairly well. You don't want it long, you want it at like 1/4 inch or so, and make sure the rest of your face that's not your goatee/purposeful facial hair is shaved nice. Also, I hate long hair, as people then think you're "freaky" with long hair. Plus it is kind of a pain, as you gotta like...comb it, and wash it and stuff.

But I get "noticed" by girls no problem really, it's just once they get to know me on any level, most shy away. One big problem too is like, conversations go like this:
Girl:
Where do you work?
Me:
I'm not employed currently.
Girl:
Do you go to school?
Me:
No.
Girl:
Do you have Facebook?
No.

And that about ends it. To be fair, though, where I'm around most girls in my life, they are richer/likely more stuck up than average. But, getting noticed pretty much is comprised of you like, existing. After that is the hard part. Don't get me wrong, I like girls having a positive first impression of me, it gives me a bit of an ego boost, but beyond that I don't think I'm much better off.

And like my friend DerStadtschutz says, I think much of the problem is I don't match. I appear to be "cool" at first, and a good deal of this is just genetics, really. But the problem is, I'm actually much more of a "nerd" but I don't look like a nerd, nor will I ever look like a nerd, really. But at the same time, I'll never be a good "jock" or "bro" or whatever. So I'm stuck between the two social groups, not fitting into either, and then people are just confused by my contradictory life.

Right, I should have clarified what I meant. I meant emulate that person's style, the way they dress and such, NOT personality. I admit it probably didn't come off sounding how it was supposed to. Obviously you are who you are and you should be proud of it. I should clarify further that I mean an image you find might be appealing for yourself and emulate that, not simply the most popular thing out there that you don't like.

The age old adage of "be yourself" is still the best advice out there. However, it certainly doesn't hurt to "upgrade" yourself in a way you're comfortable with.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iui94VWFhnA[/youtube]

I wish I was as cool as Dimitri Klokov.

Or if I was Asian, Lu Xiaojun.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5YvKrjGtPM[/youtube]

(some minor fixes of the quote)

Try this:
Girl: Where do you work?
Me: State funded research into human special characteristics types
Girl: Do you have Facebook?
Me: Yes, Donald Duck #2



Got stuck in a Valley girl location?

As for getting noticed, try some expressive clothing that also is stylish. Unusual haircut, clothes, shoes, body movement, hat, dance, laptop, phone etc..

And the adage "just be yourself" just doesn't cut it. Behave the way that works. No point in doing things that doesn't work.

Even a short encounter might be worthwhile for someone that perhaps will continue to never having a woman otherwise (ever).

No, I ice skate and am around world class figure skaters and girls whose fathers make like 200K a year. Maybe I'd have better luck with girls who smoke weed e'rry-day. I also live in one of the richer states in the Union. Starts with a C and is in New England.

Edit again,
I wear Aeropostale, Abercrombie and Polo like 90% of the time. They're nice clothes and help me blend in. As I said, I have no problems with the women noticing me initially. And if I wanted to BS them, I could very likely BS my way into a bunch of one night stands or short relationships, but I don't. So I just hope to find a girl who will tolerate me listening to this:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PrYKtahrWU[/youtube]

Last edited by 1000Knives on 21 Oct 2012, 11:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

You could still politely try to seduce them?
Still it sounds like there ought to be lots of girls in your location. So there should be some way. Otoh, perhaps a university/library/etc is a better location for finding a thinker.

Anyway if the location suck, try a trip to some other location?

I went to Vermont and girls were super nice to me there. It is location, yeah. And moving away is my plan. I dunno, I've been told I'm "super hot" and stuff by various girls. But I'm too quiet, but then when I talk I make a huge ass out of myself and ramble on forever, usually talking about myself. Not that it's a massive accomplishment, but when I was getting my hair cut at the beauty school, the girls there seemed to be interested in me, they're my age. I get along way easier with girls who are past like...28? Girls my age seem to just wanna like, party rock in the house and smoke weed. Skating I did meet a really cool girl, but I've not seen her in forever. She seems like the closest I've ever seen to a female clone of me.

f**k it, I'll just do this:


As far as universities/libraries, I'm not like, nerdy enough anymore. I'm at the weird line where I'm not quite a "nerd" anymore, but I'm not a cool "bro" either. Oh well.

Say she has a bug in her hair.
Hopefully she'll react and be like OMG, where?...
Then just say you will get it instead. Then after about 10 to 20 seconds, say you got the insect off.

There, now you have her attention!

Desperativity has reached a new low.