to men who lost their virginity

Post Reply New Topic

i always hate how other people tell others whether or not something else will solve their problems or not. Unless you are that person you have no idea if it will. For me, the fact that i am 23 and kissless has sapped any confidence i had. It makes me ask myself what point is there to ask a girl out since none like me. At 23 and not having a girl ever make out with me, it makes me wonder f i a disgusting deformed creature. having a girl make out with me would show me im capable of getting physical intimacy. having a girl have sex with me would further confirm this. dnnt reply with some s**t like ''love yourself or noone else will' when look in the mirror i see a good looking guy but you have to wonder if you're a deformed freak when you have not had a gf and were called ugly throughout school

i also am not looking to get many sex problems..i just want to lose my virginity before im 25 si can go on wit my life an start looking for agf. experience is vital in getting a girlfriend. Also if i can conquer something like sex and not be oo shy/awkward to do it. i can better handle first dates. I dont even think like sex that much which will better equip me mentally to focus on meeting a girl with a good personality(who is also attractive). This is because i wont care so much about getting them into be and more about getting to know them.

Well I was almost 30 and was never kissed, touched (except one hug) or even given a serious compliment by a girl my own age even though I'm told over and over again how good looking I am. I hate to say this since I was the same way but your attitude is a major turnoff and you need to change your mindset. I can understand *why* you have that attitude but you have to change it if you want to get laid.

I agree with GiantHockeyFan. Things didn't change for me until I ditched the idea that because life hasn't treated me well or because I hadn't achieved what I wanted in the dating game people owe it to me to feel sorry for my situation.

Also, much like we can't tell what the outcome will be after a sexual or dating encounter for you, you can't tell us either until you've gone there and done it. No one can predict the future here.

women can easily get sex and yet they still think life is harder for them

man being male isnt our problem. tons of men have sex. is being shy awkward men. we both are decent looking(a least you say you are) so it has to be something else. I dont now what it is but girls just dont like us bro.

Exactly. That attitude is exactly what is stopping you (wtfid) from finding a woman willing to have sex with you, you probably have been told that already but apparently it hasn't quite stuck. And I'll put it like this: have you considered the possibility that there is actually something unlikeable about you? When you say that you want to make up and get laid to prove to yourself that you're not, you're assuming that you're just fine, and shifting the blame to circumstances and other people (mainly, women). I'll tell you something; I've seen your photos and you look actually good, but stop assuming that just because you put so much importance in a woman's looks, they do the same to you. There might be something else in your personality that is stopping you from being liked by a woman. The day you accept that, the day you stop focusing your attention in external factors and start seeking, finding and fixing the internal ones, the day you stop protecting your ego by living on denial, the day you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking internal action, that day, your current situation will start improving. Making out? Sex? Here is a fun, and quite paradoxical fact: when you stop thinking about them so much, and start enjoying your life and yourself, these two are bound to come your way, sooner or later.



Because if you can get sex easier then everything else in life doesn't matter?



At least you know there is *something*

not sure i follow

I'm sorry if it sounded like I'm telling you what's important to you. I did try to say that I understand sex is important to you even though it isn't important to me. But I don't see how the boost to your confidence you would experience if one girl agreed to have sex with you would be anything but temporary. It simply isn't going to guarantee you more sex in the future, and certainly not ensure you have happy relationships from then on. If you have the doubts about yourself that you express here, one girl making out with you is very unlikely to change that. You'll start to wonder if she only made out with you because you were drunk, or because she took pity on you, or because she was desperate, or whatever. It may only be your low self esteem talking, but that's precisely the problem - low self esteem and/or deep problems with socialising/dating are not cured by one physical act.

You said you just want to lose your virginity by the time your 25. The funny thing about age is that are milestones change as we get older. If you lose your virginity before 25, wouldn't you still set a new goal, say having a relationship by 30, or having sex again by 30, or whatever? Also you don't feel experienced sexually after one time. The first time is going to be awkward most likely, and you'll still feel categorised as being behind your peers. It doesn't give you knowledge or skills in any other area of relating to people. That's what I mean when I say sex isn't that big a deal. I get that's it's very important to a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. But it doesn't change who you are or your abilities to relate to people. Especially not just one time.



That's a ridiculous statement in so many ways. Which women say life is harder for them and what has sex got to do with having an easy life?

Everyone who's involuntary celibate knows that something is wrong (or that they're doing something wrong). I'm no longer a virgin, but after a couple of one-night stands, one serious relationship where I was miserable and a few non-serious relationships, I'm back to square one.

Allthough I know that it has something to do with social skills, I can't pinpoint the exact thing that holds me back or how to improve it.

Mine was basically luck but also the girl was desperate.

That the problem might be within you, and not outside you. In that case, do you have any idea of what it could be?

This is how I feel about long term relationships. I don't know why I can't have them so I don't know how to change - if change were even possible. I've done all the sensible things, tried everything I can think of. Being able to find people willing to sleep with me or having the occasional date or miserable failed relationship hasn't changed anything when it comes to really being able to connect with another person. It's just beyond my comprehension. I do know that it's something to do with me and my ability to connect: it's not a result of society's attitudes or people deciding to be mean to me. And it's not something superficial like the way I look, talk, self esteem, etc. People with all kinds of defects get into relationships all the time.

I think the fact that I struggle in other areas - forming friendships, relationships at work, negotiating adult life in general and understanding how to be part of society - cannot be unrelated.

want to have a life said women have an easier life not me. Quotes keep getting messed up.

anyway you are not getting it and suck at explaining things, but i wil try. y low self esteem is caused by external factors and logical reasoning,not by internalized self loathing or detest for myself. I personally think i look good, but logic tells me that i don;t because I a a 6 foot 2 white college educated funny guy who hasnt had a girl even stick her tongue in my mouth. women view me as if i were rancid maneuer.

getting a girl to kiss me or have sex with me would increase my confidence and it would show me that yes i can be desirable and if i can get one girl to have sex with me m not a freak of nature(even if i am too shy still to get others). it would make m feel like a stud and a ladies man even though ill never be that. It would hep me enter into any future relationships without the baggage that beign a virgin will bring.I wont have to lie to girls anymore. it would give me that extra push i need to as girls ut who i otherwise wouldnt because of my thoughts of her thinking im repulsive(since that's all ive been shown from girls) or that im a creep.

it would help. It also would be a great social feat to accomplish. being naked with a girl and not having a panic attack lol

i know that eventually 90 percent of guys get married and i havent so i know that something about me is undesirable. I do not feel like I am doing something wrong and that is why i blame society. I blame the for finding me undesirable instead of blaming myself for just being myself.

Idk what im doing wrong.

There it is. Keep blaming society and see where that takes you. Also, it is really hard to see what's wrong with oneself; our mind is great at hiding stuff that might hurt our self-image or our worldviews. So if you don't feel you're doing something wrong, that doesn't mean you aren't. Something I've been wondering: if you were a woman, would you date yourself?

It's a big deal to me. Not losing my virginity, but having sex. And the reason for this is that I have a very high sex drive. I'm not literally always horny, but there is never a time I can think of when I would just not want sex. Something extremely terrible would have to happen to me for me to just not want sex. Now, that's why it's a big deal to ME. However, I can't really speak for anybody else, but I imagine it has to do with the fact that to a lot of males(for whatever reason I'll never understand), each vagina they've penetrated is seen as some sort of trophy, and the number of trophies you collect helps determine your social status for some reason. I personally think it's all nonsense.

As for losing my virginity, mine was sorta luck. I had an opportunity back when I was 17, that was very similar to the way in which I eventually did lose it. But, what happened when I was 17, I don't know if I was simply nervous, or if I'd just masturbated too much that day(or possibly both), but I just couldn't get aroused. That, and I didn't really know what the hell to do anyway. The lights were off too, so I had no chance of visual stimulation, just this girl lying there waiting for me who I couldn't really even see. She didn't make much of any attempt to coax me into it either, so whatever.

When I finally did lose my virginity, it was because a friend of mine had some girl hitting on him, apparently, or maybe he was hitting on her. I don't know; I just know one of them wanted in the other's pants. My friend somehow talked her into having sex with me also, and it almost ended up similarly to the last attempt. I was still nervous, but eventually she said "are you gonna just sit there? I don't bite..." That was my signal to just have at it... Even though we both knew why we were there, for some reason it was just awkward to me to just start touching her or whatever. I was kinda hoping she'd move first. Before that, I'd only ever even been kissed once, and it was by some random drunk girl who was kissing everybody in the room.

Losing my virginity wasn't anything spectacular, but it helped me to gain confidence so that I could pursue other women who I was interested in. It taught me that I could last longer than 10 seconds(I assumed that the first time I ever entered a vagina it would be over very quickly due to premature ejaculation, but I lasted about 20 minutes), and it taught me that I was capable of making a woman feel good. Knowing that helped me greatly to "make moves" on women later. I didn't become some player or anything, but I definitely needed that to move forward.