I believe that social skills are something you're born with

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I wonder if it helps loneness to, I have no problems sexually though but I thought that some benefits might filter through.

I have a huge problem with my self esteem because I can't get sex. I need to put it behind me.

They can be learned, its just a different sort of intelligence capacity than the standard 'academic' sort. So the learning may come "naturally" (which it does....for many people.... bastards.... [/bitterness]) or it may be slower. It may even seem impossible. As for whether or not it is impossible for some people, I can't really say, I can only speak from my own (slow) experience and from the socially "normal" or "competent" people I know.

Aspie_Chav: Taking that route if it helps loneliness is essentially the same as giving up. It would be like breaking a guitar if you find it impossible to play. Legal "self-medication" in a sense, even though it would be through a doctor. I'm not saying I'd never do the same (not to that point yet), or that I approve, disapprove, it just seems very similar to "drinking away the pain." (been there, done that.)

The physical place in the brain that normally social cognition takes place is different in autisics. Yes we can learn social skills. But we can not load that special social cognitive
processing center we have to use other less efficient parts of the brain. For example consider how its hard for many to learn higher abstract math like algebra. They have
a different abstract reasoning center in their brain and if they want to learn algebra they are forced to use non-abstract reasoning parts of their brain (visual often) to try to learn it. I've though in th past of writing software that could teach college algebra
in a visual way to utilize the visual center of ones brain. So maybe one day social
skills training optimized for visual learning could be usefull.

There must be someone for Lonermutant, somewhere. It is a very sad situation.

No, it isn't.

Why's that a problem?

Because he's a depressed person who won't even begin to think about bettering himself and becoming more positive. You can't help people like him, so he gets ignored. Lonermutant is the most oppressed person ever, even though the photo he posted of himself showed he wasn't all that unattractive.

1: Unlike 99% of the worlds population, I'm only interested in having sex, not a relationship.
2: Most women my age (I find everything under 28 too young) have 10-year old kids by now and are not single.
3: I have zero education and zero chance of getting one or a job that doesn't include internet surfing or stuffing things into envelopes three hours a day.

A friend of mine once said that anyone can get laid if they are willing to lower their standards enough. I've also heard someone say that anyone who can go through four years of university or college without having sex is either someone who is deliberately avoiding it, or someone who doesn't really want it that much.

(I fall into the latter category, as I have virtually no sex drive.)

All generalisations are false.

That just means that they can't imagine what it's like if you don't understand social signals and don't know how to behave in social situations. And I don't blame them, I can't imagine what it's like to be "normal" either.

There are some things you can learn, and some things that will always elude you, unless you were born with those skills. Mimicking is the main way I've learnt social skills, and even then to a large degree that is not really 'learning', in that you don't have to really understand a behaviour or action in any depth to mimic it.

One thing I think is very hard is understanding context. Knowing what is appropriate in certain situations is something that can be taught, but knowing exactly when you are in that situation can be difficult.