Aspie men and the "L" word?

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tourettes karaoke, to all the girls I've loved before

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlOXrrZP7hY[/youtube]

I love too easy but have only said it twice as I'm aware of my loving tendencies.

Good questions. I can't say how I "normally" behave, because I don't think I've ever loved anyone. Yes, I think I'd have to be pretty sure about it to declare my love for someone and I don't know how I ever could be sure. They say "you just know" - but I think that only goes for NTs who don't tend to analyse their feelings the way we do. I doubt that I'd lie about it, but I can also see why someone would: the alternative may well be to break up! What's a man to do if he really wants to stay with the woman (despite not being sure that he loves her), but she basically insists on hearing that L word?

Plodder, it's a typo, it should have read "Questions". Sorry

FMX, good point. It's likely that *all* humans tend to yearn to be loved and desired. However, I do understand as the L word itself can be so complex in interpretation, so can the ways of expressing that love, can be. Once an aspie guy whom I asked, to give me 4 adjectives of how he viewed me, answered with "I don't answer the adjectives as I can't do it properly. You are asking questions that would be meaningful if "you" answered them. So, instead of responding to that questionnaire, I decided to say something more meaningful. I decided to say I was touched by the gesture (I had given him a signed t-shirt of a sports champion). If you think that statement means less, coming from me, than simply picking 4 adjectives in response to your request, then you don't understand my thought processes at all. The latter would be an intellectual activity. The former is a rare emotional response".

Do you men, identify with this?

I sort of understood what he was saying, but for me it was a little like asking what time it is and him replying back with "It's evening".

Sounds more like he was trying to avoid it... one would assume it's because he didn't feel it but that's hard to guess.

I don't get those families who don't believe in words or signs of love and affection... a slug in the shoulder means, "I love you"??? Not to me!

BlueMax I'm with you in the way of thinking. But *so* many Aspie men say they have trouble expressing feelings?

My boyfriend has never said it to me and I don't know if he ever will. I don't care. I know he cares a he'll of a lot about me. We talk about everything. He is always worried about me. We are in constant communication. He knows all my faults. He still says he doesn't know why I love him. I am quite sure that if he was "normal" he would have declared his undying love for me a long time ago. I think he just doesn't associate any feeling to those words except "first limerance type love".

If they know we love them what's the point?

As a girl with Aspergers, I find love to be easy to comprehend as an intellectual exercise. I've read love poetry by Rumi or the romantic poets and I enjoy it. It inspires emotion within me, I like the idea of it and would like to experience it. But as an emotion directed by me towards other people, I can't make sense of it. My Mum says that she loves me, but I don't really understand it. I just don't seem to think of love as part of my emotional spectrum, it's abstract to me. It doesn't mean that I don't want it or dream about feeling that way about someone. I like to think that if I met someone who I did genuinely love I would tell them. But I have trouble understanding why someone would love me. I suppose I think in terms of affection more.

I'm either incapable of love - or I love everybody. I seem to be unable to understand exactly what it's supposed to feel like.